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What should I be doing to get him to talk to me again, and not let me down again?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 July 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 July 2016)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I needed your help with my love life.

I met a guy in june he is really sweet and nice we both liked each other a lot then he started acting weird ignoring me and not wanting to talk to me I didn't know what I did to trigger him to do that and the third week he told me we should just be friends.

That broke my heart when he told me that.

I started feeling depressed crying day and night about the situation and trying to figure out what I did to cause him to act like that to me.

My friends told me that if I ignore him he will talk to me again and that's what I did and we started talking again and hanging out again but then he did it again to me and I didn't even do anything this time.

I'm just hoping if this pattern will stop going on like this and im just hoping he realizes that he has a girl with a really good heart that really likes him alot and that would be there for him.

I'm just hoping he will he even talk to me again and not let me down again.

View related questions: depressed

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A female reader, Deeksha India +, writes (10 July 2016):

Deeksha agony auntLook don't be depressed. It will change nothing but worsen the situation your are into. Talk to him ask him directly what's wrong. I know you'll awkward about it. But that's what is going to help. Try your best. Don't give up.

Give yourself some pampering. Visit a spa or something. Dress up well. Fill yourself with confidence. The old yourself. You cannot be a puppet to his mood swings and actions.

Try talking to him if possible. Find out what's eating him. Get stubborn about knowing what's wrong. And if there's no valid reason he has been ignoring you. Then show him the way out of your life. Because you are the best in your own way and you deserve to be on the top of somebody's priority list. And coping from depression think you could visit omegle. Meet new people and refresh your mood.

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A female reader, Deeksha India +, writes (10 July 2016):

Deeksha agony auntLook don't be depressed. It will change nothing but worsen the situation your are into. Talk to him ask him directly what's wrong. I know you'll awkward about it. But that's what is going to help. Try your best. Don't give up.

Give yourself some pampering. Visit a spa or something. Dress up well. Fill yourself with confidence. The old yourself. You cannot be a puppet to his mood swings and actions.

Try talking to him if possible. Find out what's eating him. Get stubborn about knowing what's wrong. And if there's no valid reason he has been ignoring you. Then show him the way out of your life. Because you are the best in your own way and you deserve to be on the top of somebody's priority list. And coping from depression think you could visit omegle. Meet new people and refresh your mood.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (4 July 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Honey... he's just not that into you. It's not something that you have done and said. And it's quite possible that he is a moron uncapable of appreciating the real gem of a Gf you could be for him, but in this case too- all you can say is : "His loss. He does not know what's good for him ".

You should not hope or try to shove yourself down his throat because you are " good for him ", as if you were some not-so-appealimg health drink.

You can be involved in a start-and-stop, take-and-leave cycle only if you allow it. But you don't have to play this game- you can decide to stay out of it and only join a game which is played by YOUR rules.

And ... you met a guy in June, talked 2 weeks, - and we are already talking " depression " " heartbreak "

" crying day and night " ???

No no no. This is absurd. Ok, I'll cut you all the slack you want, because you are very young, because " first cut is the deepest ", etc.etc. - but being young and unexperienced is not equivalent to dispose of your brain and rational thought process.

Yes , you have been rejected, yes it sucks. It's normal . It's all part of growing and learning, you can't just have only sunny days in life. When you accept that, it still sucks, but maybe you can avoid turning it into some epocal life shattering drama and making it worse by wallowing in misery and self pity. You have to make a conscious choice to dust yourself off and carry on.

Plus- two weeks , and you were already so attached ?? He blows hot and cold- clear sign of " I am not that into you " and you sit tight waiting for the next " hot " phase ?...

" I am just hoping he changes ".... don't hope that he changes, YOU change first !

Start by asking yourself why are you courting indifference, and why is it so all important to get your validation through the crumbs of attention you can get by some boy.. Is there a void of affection and recognition in your life ? And is there any other mean of filling this void than latching on to the first fickle boy you meet ?

Do you know what you want in relationships, are you able to set standards for yourself ?

This is something which is difficult and easy at the same time. It's easy as soon as you start trusting yourself and respecting yourself, and standing by your decisions.

If you decide that you are a person who wants and deserves warmth and tenderness,- you won't even be attracted by those who only offer coldness and elusiveness.

After all, it's just the same like developing your personal tastes in food. If by now you know that you love chiken but hate fish, you will stop your attempts to go to fish restaurants and somehow swallow what they have got to offer , as unpalatable to you as it is. You'll just go straight for the chicken dishes.

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