A
female
age
18-21,
Candy*kissess*
writes:So many things to think about before my time is up, and im only 17. Couple months ago my boyfriend popped up the question... I said yes because i am truely in love with him. So we're planning the wedding when I get done college in about 2 more years.the problem is that what should marriage couple better be prepare for? i'm so worried because when I was young my father(he was 17) left my mother(she was 15) and tried to kill me when my mom was pregant with me and i don't know how marriage really work. All i see is couples gettin divorce and cheating on each other! please help so nothing can be ruin b/w us.. T-Tthank u candy kisses u
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female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (22 December 2007):
 Hi and Congratulations!
Baby Duck is so right. Communication is the key. And HINTS, yes so right, hints don't translate to guys, just come right out and say what you are thinking.
My husband and I just celebrated our 30th Wedding Anniversary. We had planned on having a lovely time in a wonderful resort in the Indian Ocean. Instead, I scattered my Dad's ashes after being called home. My husband was wonderful and supportive, and it has been an incredibly crap year all around. My point? Be prepared to weather a lot of storms. If I were to tell you how fortunate we have been, well, we have truly been very blessed. BUT, at the same time, we have had some incredibly horrible years! The point? Marriage is a continual journey and you are not always going to be happy at every single moment, but if you are prepared to work together, you can get there! Always thinking about the other person and how you can help them is the key. Putting their needs before your own. Marriage isn't about finding the right person, it's about finding a person that you love and wanting to be the right person for them.
Best of luck and God bless.
A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (22 December 2007):
 Communication.
That does not mean to expect a guy to be as chatty as a girl. Understand that your idle chit chat about what recipe sounds better, which shoes are cuter, and the ilk, is best saved for girlfriends.
It does mean that if you've done something to upset him, he is not to go off and brood ... giving you the silent treatment. It is okay for him to say, "I need some time to think. I promise that we'll talk about it by (a day in the immediate future that you agree to)." He has to understand that you won't feel comfortable talking to him about what you want in the bedroom if you're not allowed to talk about anything else outside the bedroom.
Do not hint. Hinting is a brain game. Talk straight.
Do not nag. If you ask him to take out the trash because you're cooking dinner and don't want to contaminate your hands, ask him once. If he does not do it, do not do it for him. After dinner, start a new bag or mush it in the bag that's in the can ... whatever. Do not become his mother.
He needs to continue to say sweet things. Often times, men think that 'she knows' that he loves her, or loves her smile, or whatever ... Women are bombarded by unrealistic images everyday, what the media says they're supposed to look like, and especially after having children (even if she does lose weight, she has a woman's body now, not a girl's), she needs to hear tender words in private.
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
Oh! And one more thing ...
communicate!
Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): with the greatest respect slow down live life a little bit the feeling of love at 17 are totaly different at 30 the golden rules are honesty truth respect friendship compasion when all of them are there then you are on the right track best of luck i am 54 been with my lass 34 yrs
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): Well congratulations!!! On the incident about your dad, marriage is NOTHING like that so just put that behind you. No sense thinking about something so horrible and inconsequential.
ANYWAYS, the best advice I can give you (I'll warn you though I have never been married, but sometimes outsiders can see in ALOT better than those in it) but I would say maintain your individuality. Just keep growing as an individual. Have a life of your own and don't just live breathe and die for your guy. Have your own interests. Whatever it may be, music, books. Hang out with friends. Travel. Get that job you always wanted. Have your OWN dreams and aspirations. Just keep growing and don't lose yourself or depend on him TOO much.
Another thing, which also has to do with your individuality, don't let yourself go. I see alot of married couples just totally get out of shape and not take care of themselves. Don't make that mistake. You are still a woman, and take good care of yourself, exercise, look beautiful always, and just be healthy. Go the gym. Jog. Whatever.
You can be married and still be a FABULOUS woman and I guess that is what I am suggesting you do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): You are only 17!!
It is a total mistake to get married at this age.
You have to wait till you grow up and find who you are and what you want in your life before you can pick a man to spend the rest of your life with.
You are doing the same thing your mom did when she was 15 and as you see it did not work for her and it will not work for your either!!
WAIT!!!
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