A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What percentage of women think about another man or an ex partner why having sex with there husband Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 March 2015):
 Only the ones you sleep with OP.... what an odd question..
so I googled it for you:
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#fantasy
Fantasy
Men's sexual fantasies tend to be more sexually explicit than women's; women's fantasies tend to be more emotional and romantic (Zurbriggen & Yost, 2004).
In one study, men's fantasies mentioned a partner's sexual desire and pleasure more frequently than did women's fantasies (Zurbriggen & Yost, 2004).
54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day, 67% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 14% less than once a month (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
Recalled onset of first sexual fantasy is generally between 11-13yrs with men recalling earlier onset of fantasy than women. (Leitenberg, 1995)
Sexual fantasies are healthy, occurring most often in people showing the fewest sexual problems and least sexual dissatisfaction. (Leitenberg, 1995).
While both men and women can experience similar fantasies, women more often fantasize about taking a passive role or being dominated while men more often fantasize about taking a dominant role, doing something sexual to their partner, or having multiple partners. (Leitenberg, 1995).
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): I actually tried to do that a couple of times, trying to think about a couple of females from work while I was doing it with the wife but found it very stupid and boring idea .
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 March 2015):
 Cindy offered you statistics, those you can google too. However statistics are not EVER the whole truth.
I think in MOST successful marriages there are TWO people in the bed during sex. The husband and the wife (or for the gay couples the husband/husband, wife/wife). ROLEPLAY and FANTASY is like sugar and spice. It just add a little something to an ALREADY existing happy sex-life.
I have NEVER thought of an ex during sex. I once or twice thought of chores I needed done, because I was not really in the mood, but had complied anyways. But an ex? Nope.
I DO agree with Janniepeg, that the % of MEN thinking of an ex or other women might be WAY higher then vice versa.
And MAYBE women (and men) who are having unfulfilling sex will think of others during sex.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 March 2015):
 FWIW : that I know of, there's an UK stats worked out from a sample of over 3000 people. It says an impressive 45% of women thinks occasionally about other men while having sex with their regular partner. This would include sex with famous people- movie stars, rock stars , soccer players and such .
As for specifically a real life ex, sex with the ex is the ultimate erotic fantasy for 24% of women in this study.
I think it should be stressed out, though, how these are erotic FANTASIES. On par with having sex with another woman, or with a perfect stranger in an elevator, or with a 15 y.o. boy etc. I.e. : erotic ,escapist thoughts which feel appealing in the realm of the unachieved and not necessarily would be acted on IRL even if it was possible and easy.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 March 2015):
 Is there even a statistic that quantifies that sort of thing??
From doing one effortless Google search, I see that it's common for both genders.
I can only answer for myself. I shut off higher thought and concentrate on feelings. I'm always thinking ahead in real life, so that's one moment where I can live right in the moment...no one and nothing else exists but the two of us until the big "O", which is one of the best things about sex besides the "O" itself!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015):
"What percentage of men think about another woman or an ex partner why having sex with there husband?"
There's your answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): I can honestly say I never have in over twenty years. I always thought I was weird because I hear how men do this all the time and I see their porn but for me , I need an emotional attraction to feel sexual arousal . Not saying I can't see if a mans attractive but I would never fantasise about them unless I had some emotional connection.
This has made it really hard for me to understands mens obsession with looking at and maternating to other women when supposedly living their wives and girlfriends and I guess I'll never really understand because to me it just doesn't work that way and if I was excited over another man it would be a sign that I had a serious relationship issue
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 March 2015):
 Why do you ask? Did she scream out another name????
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): I have been with my BF for three years and have never once fantasized about someone else while having sex with him.
I hope that makes you feel better :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): Women do not fantasize as much on the whole because they are emotionally attached to their husband.
Men on the other hand can fantasize about other women and stay detached from the fantasy while still remaining attached to their wives.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 March 2015):
 25, 50, 75, 100....
2, 7, 12, 35, 92....
4, 35, 60, 81....
Ok, I know, it's all a bit random.
Some probably do, some don't.
Why is a certain percentage important to you?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 March 2015):
 It's impossible to gather information from the whole world on any given day and I would not trust any studies or statistics I find online. I always think about my husband and nobody else even though my husband wants to spice things up. He asks me to talk dirty and to imagine having sex with a black guy. I believe if the wife is happy with the marriage and loves her husband she would not want to think about anyone else. Sex is more an emotional connection for women but for men it's different because the ability to be aroused, stay erect and to ejaculate depends on what's on his mind. It's harder for a woman who has a kid with stretch marks and saggy skin to be exciting to the husband all these years. We also have to compete with porn and perfect women on magazines and men are supposed to be the visual ones. I would say the percentage of men thinking about other women is greater than the women thinking of other men.
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