A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, what makes you want to stay or leave in a relationship? Do you do pros and cons? I am at crossroads.I do not feel my newly live in boyfriend is pulling his weight in this relationship. I do not feel appreciated as much as I should be. I talked calmly to him, fought with him, sent him signs, wrote it down, and said what I mean very clearly and slowly-over the period of 3 months. He says yes, you are right, I will make an effort. Things haven't changed. Would you see the bigger picture hoping of a better future, or start from scratch with someone else hoping it turns out better than the last one?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2012): Thank you guys, your answers are all very appreciated. Time for some serious decisions.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2012): I left my boyfriend because I realised he didn't care about me enough. Sounds like you could be moving into the same position as me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2012): I agree wholeheartedly with Thisiscrazy...Life is wayyyyy to short to continue on in a situation where you find yourself not being happy. Being in a similar situation myself (although it was due to my ex not dealing with his own emotional issues and taking it out on me. He was picking up his weight when it came to the economical aspects of our relationship...but when it came to the emotional/intimacy foundation..he simply was no longer in it). I heard all of the stories you can possibly think off.. I'll change...I promise...yada-yada-yada.Funny thing is that I heard that same story three years into our 7 year relationship (was with him when I was 19...I've just turned 27). I honestly deep-down wanted to believe him...as this new persona my ex had taken on did not resemble the man that I fell head-over-heels- in love with. But then I had to realize that it takes two in order to make a relationship work...and basically I was doing all of the work. Sometimes you have to put yourself first my dear...If he hasn't made an effort thus far, what makes you think that he is doing to do it "later on"? I think you should take a serious look at the relationship and determine if you are emotionally/physically ready to give it a shot (and put ALL of both your efforts into it)...or just move on...and take this experience as a guideline for what you deserve in your future relationships. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (1 May 2012):
 All I can say is you only live once and to be unhappy is not the way to live..if you feel that your relationship is all give from you and just take from him and you feel you have tried everything to make things work and it's not better then your answer is right there.. If you decide to leave make sure you leave with no regrets and know you tried everything .. Just look inside yourself and you will know if your truly happy any doubt that is there well your still telling yourself to try...
Good luck I hope everything works out
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (1 May 2012):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/seriously-debating-whether-to--break-up-or.html
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