A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Question for the women: I hear men described as being "good in bed" and as being "good at screwing". What's the difference, and what makes a man "good at screwing"? Is this a skill that can be learned, or is it some sort of natural ability? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 February 2011):
 I posted before your follow up. Based on this new info, I would suggest having a talk about it. Tell her you want her to help guide you to her maximum pleasure. Only she knows what will get her off, and because everyone is different, what works for one, may not for another. She really is the only one who can help you. Don't tell her you're insecure, just tell her you'd like to try something new, and that's her being your director.
It's also very possible she's being completely honest. Some women can finish quite quickly, others not at all, but that doesn't mean they don't enjoy making you happy.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 February 2011):
"Is this a skill that can be learned, or is it some sort of natural ability?"
Both.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses. I realize the questions are somewhat juvenile, but I'm not as experienced sexually as most my age.
I've been in a couple long term relationships with women who were also relatively inexperienced sexually, and I'd been able to figure out what turned them on, and it was never much of an issue.
Now I'm in a relationship with a woman who has been with a lot of men, and she's dropped hints that I'm not so good in the "screwing" department. (She says I'm the best overall, but I'm not sure if I believe that) But, when I ask her what she wants me to do differently, she doesn't give me any specific advice, and more or less avoids the topic. She often says she's done after a few minutes. I often know she hasn't had an orgasm, but I'm not sure what I can do if she says she's done? I don't want to pressure her to keep going. She's made comments that I'm like a 25 year old because I get erections so easily and I want to have sex so often. We've tried numerous positions and so on, and she does seem to like it, but I'm still left with this feeling that it's subpar for her somehow.
I can't figure out if there's something I should be doing differently in terms of the "mechanics" of intercourse, or if there's something about me that just doesn't turn her on. I try to do a lot of foreplay and such, but it doesn't seem to make much difference most of the time. I'm in very good physical condition, and she says she is very attracted to me sexually, that I have a nice size penis, etc. I suppose she could be lying about all that, but I doubt she would have stayed with me this long (about a year) if she wasn't attracted to me at all.
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A
female
reader, Sweety Pie  +, writes (8 February 2011):
 Basically the guys that are 'better in bed' shall we say are the ones who dont just get themselves off but actually bother about the woman's enjoyment as well.
Obviously theres other stuff but being a girl and spending a lot of time gossiping with girls this is the main focal point.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 February 2011):
 My husband is pretty good in bed, rarely does he steal the covers but he does snore. He is also really good at screwing, he just recently made me a set of shelves for my special plates. Now I have a question for you are you really 41-50 years old?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 February 2011):
 I think this totally depends on the woman who said it and what she means by "screwing", because what I mean by that word could be completely different. Screwing to me is more mindless bunny sex and a lot of pumping in and out fast and hard and done with quickly. Being good at screwing to me means you can get it up fast, be ready in a second, make the woman wet and ready within seconds as well and just take her hard and at the same time enjoyable for her. Then get on with your business. Being good in bed to me means that you and the woman click, you both please each other in all ways. And that is totally dependent on what the woman in question likes. What she imagines as the best sex ever could be what the next woman imagines as boring.
Me for one love it when a man is so turned on by me he can't keep it to himself, that in return turns me on like crazy. What will follow is passionate hot sex that blows your mind away so you don't even know what time it is or even what day it is and finish off completely breathless and exhausted, but happy. It's a skilled that can be learned, and it's called letting go and allowing yourself to enjoy your self and your own body, as well as being selfish enough to do what you WANT to do, while at the same time finding pleasure in what pleases your partner. It's also a natural thing: either you find the other sexually attractive or you don't. If you don't find your partner sexually attractive there's not much to do. And if you DO find her attractive: SHOW IT.
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