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What is the best way to explain to my family that I am attracted to women and not men?

Tagged as: Family, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *weetgal2 writes:

Dear Cupid, i am 25 and have feelings for women, recently my favourite radio presenter was axed due to a new company takeover, my parents aren't understanding that i am emotionally, physically and sexually attracted to her. I have had strong feelings for women since the age of 11 but my family have said im still a virgin and haven't experienced sex, i don't understand where they think i need to have sex to know how i feel. I would also like to know what is the best way to explain to them i am attracted to women and not men?

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A female reader, CuriousMe United States +, writes (25 July 2009):

Wow 25 and you have still saved yourself? That says a lot. By now you know, with or without sex, what your attracted to. Im a lesbian myself and take it from me sex has nothing to do at all with whether you are straight or gay. You can have sex with all the men you want that dosnt mean your not a lesbian. Who do you want your heart to belong to? Who do you want to creat an emotional relationship with? Who can you share your life with? Sex and love are two different things. A lot of girls (lesbian) when they are younger have sex with guys because they want to fit in with the crowd. Society has brainwashed gays into believing how they feel is wrong. So they have straight sex to make it look like they are fitting in.

As far as breaking it to your parents, if you have already told them and they are not listening, the only thing to do is date. You cant live your life never knowing.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (22 July 2009):

It sounds like they are hoping this is just a "phase" and you will get yourself a nice boyfriend at some point and forget this silly "liking girls" thing.

The previous generation, including my mum too, often have a bit of a hard time accepting this kind of thing.

They are fine for gay people to exist, but it's not the kind of thing that a nice girl like you would ever do.

Lesbianism is even harder for them to understand because although men can go round wanting sex with other men, as a girl, you need to be protected by a nice strong gentleman and want babies etc etc etc.

It's so stupid but it's just the way so many parents and grandparents are.

They aren't going to believe you if you talk about it because they don't want to. So give up on that and then when you bring home a nice girlfriend then they will have to face facts.

Good Luck!! xx

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