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What is the average age to lose your virginity?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2007) 275 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2010)
A male United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

what is the average age to lose your virginity? it's just that i'm a 20 year old male and i haven't had sex ever. yet when someone asked when i lost my virginity and i said i hadn't they called me a weirdo. am i quite old not to have had sex?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010):

I'm 20 and still a virgin, so you shouldn't worry about being a 20 year virgin either. There are many people out there who are reserving themselves for a number of reasons. Just make sure that your doing it for the right reason. Mine is because I am waiting for that girl out there, who I believe is waiting for someone like me.

Plus, all the girls I talk to say that they are really attracted to the fact that I'm a virgin.. of course none of them are, and I loose my interest partially because of this reason. Sill searching...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010):

I would hold out on it for as long as possible honestly. I am a 16 year old girl and im still a virgin. The guys im with respect me more and take our relationship more seriously. We get to bond on a more emotional level while they go calling their other ex girlfriends sluts and sometimes they tell me storied of how they were just using them. Kinda disrespectful, i know, but thats just how it is i guess. None of my friends are virgins anymore and ive just observed that once you lose it its like a wall being broken down. That walls then no longer there so nothings no longer stopping you from sex (which you will start having more of) which equals higher risks of sexually transmitted diseases unwanted pregnancies ect... but the longer you hold out the more you can protect yourself from this, and find the right guy that looks past the physical attraction. Keeping your virginity in a relationship is like a test, it seperates the right guys from the wrong ones depending on how it works out and how they react to your choice. Well thats just my opinion.... Peace :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010):

So I just came upon this question upon complete accident. I'm 19 and still a virgin. And I think it's super hot when a guy is still a virgin too. Especially if he's good looking. Anyways, your virginity isn't something you loose, it's something you give away. So make sure your giving it away to someone who'll actually care about you. I'm not waiting till like marriage or anything, but I just don't get the point of rushing into things. If you do everything all at once, what's there left to live for? So take it at your own pace. And when you find "the one" then, your heart will know.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010):

It really should be when you "feel" ready. I remember when I lost mine, I was 16 and "in love" with a boy. The relationship didn't last and I regretted it afterward. I don't think I was ready emotionally and when that relationship crashed so did my world.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010):

Listen watever your name is it is not unusual for most people your age to have had sex. Some people abstain which is what I am doing because my Best friend(male) knocked up his girlfriend and he had to quit school at the end of grade ten to help support his girlfriend and baby. I'm sure that you have better things to do with your life that become nearly imposible to do once you have a baby. And staying a virgin is a great way to combat that.

All I'm saying is be calm wait till you've found the RIGHT girl andmost importantly wait until you feel that your ready.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010):

Bro its normal. I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin, if you meet the right girl she'll love the fact that your a virgin. I have girls come on to me all the time and you know call me crazy but I might wait till I'm married. When your 15 and your best friend got a girl pregnant... its a very sobering experience.

Sometimes people get drunk and feel they need to have sex, go ahead, but you'll regret it in the morning. Losing your virginity to any girl is nothing to be proud of, its really easy to do. Just go ahead and keep living life, be social, and eventually you'll meet that special someone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010):

Bro its normal. I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin, if you meet the right girl she'll love the fact that your a virgin. I have girls come on to me all the time and you know call me crazy but I might wait till I'm married. When your 15 and your best friend got a girl pregnant... its a very sobering experience.

Sometimes people get drunk and feel they need to have sex, go ahead, but you'll regret it in the morning. Losing your virginity to any girl is nothing to be proud of, its really easy to do. Just go ahead and keep living life, be social, and eventually you'll meet that special someone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

I am an 18 year old gay lad, i havent yet lost my virginity and up to this date ive yet to go into a long term relationship with another guy, I suppose really my personal story is Ive had huge difficulty knowing my sexuality since the age of 12. Opportunities for relationships have arisen but i gently declined. Currently I live in Pattaya, Thailand which is most famous particularly for the beautiful thai women and the easy sex which follows. I have had offers from Thai women which i too declined. Im not ashamed that I have never lost my viriginity, out of the many people in my year at secondary school i seem to be one of the few remaining people (if you can follow some of the stories people throw) that has yet to do it despite the fact we're all still teens. When it comes to losing virginity to the guys I know is like accomplishing a huge feat in life, to them its nothing more then a trend and that if you havent done it yet then somethings wrong, on top of that it seems many of the girls i know are having children which too now seems to be a trend. My best and most closest friend has just recently announced that he lost his virginity to his gf and that he admitted to me he done it so he would not feel left out about it which just proves the motive behind some people when it comes to sex.

Sorry about the long message, but to sum it up Id say this. Wait for that special somebody, it may take a while but they say that the first time is always the best so why not do it with somebody worthwhile? I personally believe that good looks + deep emotional feelings + a lot of romance = The best way to lose virginity.

I too await patiently for my special someone, I know this post is old but i wish you luck even if up to this date you are still awaiting :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

i was 14 when i lost my virginity. i really wish i hadnt. i say wait untill your married.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010):

from what i've read here if I were in your situation I would wait for that special someone. Don't throw away your virginity just because it's what people are doing now because that's not the case. A real man will respect you and your body untill you're ready for marriage. Best of luck to you :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010):

I know this thread is very old but I'm sure other people are searching for a thread like this (like myself) and hopefully I can offer some insight to those people. I have read through the entire thing and it has given me perspective about a few things so I felt the urge to respond to it. I have been speaking to a lot of people recently, hearing both sides of the sex story. I am an eighteen year old female and I have had three boyfriends in the past - one relationship that lasted almost two and a half years. I am still a virgin.

I have been raised a Catholic but I'm not quite sure if I will eventually decide to follow that path as I mature. We'll see. Regarding sex, I broke up with a guy I have been dating for three weeks last night. He has just turned 20 years old and has had sex with nine girls, only five of whom were girlfriends. This is a turn-off for me, whether it should be or not. This is not the only reason why I decided to end the relationship, though. He wanted sex soon and I am not ready to give that to him.

I spoke to some of my friends about what happened. While most agreed with me, there are two of my male friends (both 21) who disagreed. They feel that sex is merely a natural physical act in which two people share. They feel that I'm building sex up to be something special when it's really just something that happens in a relationship - like kissing or something. I have been feeling that perhaps, I made a mistake with breaking up with my boyfriend or maybe I'm making a mistake about being a virgin and waiting for that "special person". I don't know.

It's a complicated issue, I know, and it's all up for personal discretion. You need to have sex when you feel like it's the right time. I'm not suggesting that you should wait until you're married. While that may be ideal for many people, especially those who are religious, it is not necessary. I am just a firm believer in that sex needs to happen with someone that you truly love and care about. If that happens to be your girlfriend of ten months and then you break up a few months after, so be it. I'm sure, in that case, you won't regret it. If you had sex with someone after a month o so, I think you are much more likely to regret it because it happened so fast. Make sense?

All in all, virgin males are attractive - to me, anyway. I assume the same is to be said for female virgins because nowadays, not many people stay virgins and that is something I worry about. To me, sex isn't a HUGE thing but it's a pretty important thing that needs to be thought out very carefully - and certainly not rushed. The time will come when it comes and until then, just enjoy your life. Stay true to your choices, your morals, and your values. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Take care.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010):

No, don't worry about it. Its not that big of a deal, although not a virgin myself at 19, all my guy friends who are like 20 and above are virgins and do it because of the principles they believe in. I think it takes character and is actually really chivalrous.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2010):

The simplest answer yet:

Don't have sex until you are emotionally, fiscally and willingly ready to have and raise a child.

It is not worth one orgasm to bring another unwanted/unloved/unappreciated child into this world. Do the right thing.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010):

I lost my virginity at 17 and I wish that I hadn't. I have slept with every girlfriend that I've ever had and it doesn't do anything but cause problems in the relationship. Honestly, if I could go back I would rather have never had sex. Things are much more simple if you don't.

On a side note, when you marry a girl do you want her to have slept with lots of different people? Girls feel the same about guys. After a while it just gets disgusting.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010):

Well im 19 and still a virgin and never even kissed a girl on the lips. I had intimate relationships, girls sitting on my lap etc...but I think waiting until you get a special person is better...however if I turn 21 and don't find a great female by then...well I'm not gonna wait forever is what im trying to say lol. Anyways when it comes to you I think you have to figure out if you wanna be in a short-term or long-term relationships. Neither is wrong it's your decision, the sex is something you can discuss with whoever your dating.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010):

Im sixteen years old, and i have had sex with someone i've been with for four years. I would never have had sex with someone just to lose my V. I would happily wait till im 37 or something, because its not something you should waste. I suggest waiting for someone you really love, it makes the experience better in my opinion

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010):

I am 14 years old and I have a boyfriend and I love him. I am not planning to have sex yet but sometimes I really want to and I feel worried because I'm not sure how much longer I can wait and I don't know if il still be with him in 2 or 3 years and I feel like he's the one I want to do it with for the first time. I believe that maybe 18 would be a good age but I culdnt wait that long? He's a year older than me and I know he'd wait if I want but I want to but scared il regret it? Any advice?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010):

I think it's when your in high school.

Really I waited till my freshmen year,that's what I said I would do & waited till than.

I was 13 & a freshman ,my boyfriend at the time was 15 & we were going out for a couple of months & I felt so comfortable with him,I just wanted to.

But now when I look at it sex really isn't a big deal,that everyone makes it seem like it's this huge thing to be afraid of.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010):

No that's not odd...Most people agree it's best to wait for real love which happens at different times for everyone but generally from late teens to mid-twenties...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010):

I am 12 and I almost lost my virginity in 5th grade with a guy who I thought I loved. I didn't even know what sex was, but he did. I'm glad that I didn't though because my friends and family would be very disapointed. I think that you should wait until high school to have sex, and you should be ready and know about all of the possible conciquences. I am not going to have sex until high school because I personally am not ready.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010):

Mate, don't feel embarrassed at all, I'll be 26 in recent future and am still a virgin... I dated few girls and had the opportunity to do that but I never had the rush... so, some left me even, but I never felt it right to do till we both are ready. I believe it's better to understand each other before go for it....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010):

i lost mine when i was 16.

i wasnt going out with her but we started a week later. Im now 19 and we have been dating 3 years and are deeply in love. but i do wish i had had sex with more women before i picked the one i would be with forever. i think when ur ready ur ready. it doesnt matter to who or the situation. either way there is going to be regrets and positive experiences. just BE CAREFUL. Dont be a fool and cover your tool! :]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010):

dude im a woman and i think that you need to keep looking or just change your ways and sex will come(and once you can drink and go to clubs that will help).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010):

im a 15 year old girl. im currently in a 6 month relationship with my adorable 16 year old boyfriend. im still a virgin and i dont plan on having sex soon. but i want to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. im hoping we will still be together be the time im ready which will be around 17-18. i honestly dont believe in sex after your married i just believe in it sex while in a long long relationship.thats jusy my opinion but you can never plan for these kinds of thing they jusy happen. i recently got on birth control. and for the other girls out there its a really good idea. there are alot of other benfits besides preventing a pregnancy. :)love and motorcycles

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010):

I'm only 18, but I've been offered sex about a dozen times, I felt bad because I lost relationships over it, but every time I declined. But I know that if that if any of them really cared about me they would have wanted to wait too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010):

I was 17 and 7 months when I first lost it to a guy I barely knew. We were messing around and I honestly had no idea that THAT was what he was getting at because he was going from this weird angle and we were still like fully clothed. Yeah, TMI. It screwed up our relationship and now we don't talk. I wasn't mature enough.

The second guy was only a month later but we had dated off and on for a few years, I still wasn't mature enough and just kind of did it to get it over with because I did love him and he was a virgin and really wanted it. Not smart but whatever. It was rushed and clumsy in the back of a car in an old field. It made our relationship a bit rocky for a week or so. The next time we spent all day together and it was just great and it finally felt right. We were both finally ready for it. We're doing great and engaged 4 years later.

They were the only two I've ever been with and I hope to ever be with.

I do regret losing it to the first guy and just kind of having pity sex for the first time with my future husband and it "shattered" my world at the time, but I was young and everything did at that time. Now it's not such a huge deal for me because I doubt my life would be any different if I had waited until that perfect time. In fact, if m life was any different, it would most likely mean I wouldn't be with the love of my life. I would have stayed with that first guy for awhile longer and doubt that I would have gotten together with my fiancee again since the only reason we started dating again was because I felt like shit after my first time and he was the only person to ever make me feel special.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010):

I'm 14, i dont think you should let anyone pressure you. but I have lost my virginity and i am pregnant. i wish i had waited till i was ready, because now i have to much on my plate i respect you for waiting until that age, i wish i had.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010):

i had sex when i was 18 and this girl was amazing, we are still together going strong we have sex at least 4 times a week so its pretty cool i guess

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010):

i was 16 when i lost my virginity, people say you cant fall in love when your young, but let me tell you. i was completly head over heels for this guy. he wasn't a virgin.But he respected me. thats what made all the difference. we decided to wait until our one year to have sex. so that night he took me out for supper at the fanciest resturant in town and when we got back thats when we had sex. to me it was amazing and i dont regret it at all. we are still together and we are stronger then ever. all im trying to say is. wait until it feels right, and you know you wont regret it. thats when you know your ready

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010):

I am a 19 year old sophomore in college who is still a virgin and very proud. Just recently I have dated my first boyfriend, who is lucky because I am very picky about who I date because I know I deserve a good guy. He has treated me so well and shown me that not all guys are immature and untrustworthy. We talked for a few months prior to dating and we have now been dating for almost two months. Although I am not planning on losing my virginity any time soon, I believe that what happens, happens. Also, I feel that since I am so picky on who I date, that if I do lose my virginity to him, I will regret nothing, but rather embrace it.

In fact, I just made out with my first guy last year and before that no one ever believed that I was inexperienced and a virgin. I honestly took it as a compliment because I loved proving them wrong and simply stating my situation.

Also, like many other women say.. the fact that you are still a virgin is a huge turn on. My current boyfriend has slept with a few girls and regrets it but he has truly come to find himself by dating me. I must admit that his past is a bit discouraging, but for some reason we really understand one-another.

Good luck, and don't worry about timing. Everything in due time.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010):

well...i lost mine at 15. most of my friends did as well...i still love the guy i lost it to, but we dont talk often anymore...so make sure that whoever you lose it to, make sure he cares about you. or it will hurt. a lot.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010):

No. You're not a weirdo. I believe when you're married then that is a good time to loose it. It does matter when you loose it too. When you're married you know you'll give it to someone you love. And it's purity.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010):

you should lose your virginity to someone you love. and do it when you are ready.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2010):

I lost my v-card when I was in 7th grade (12 year old) and I kinda regret it because as I grew older I realised who ever you lose it to is who you have to rememnber your whole life. Don't get me wrong, the girl was mad hot, still is,and always will always be (most likely) but we don't even talk anymore. We haven't talked since like freshman year (im senior now) and I wish I would have waited till senior year at least so I can develop a mature relationship with who ever I have sex with. So don't worry about what others say, just wait for the right one because at the end of the day its your one time experience, not theirs.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010):

i think tht it is the average age is like maybe 18 to 20.....NOT like 13 or 15

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010):

well personally i don't view losing one's virginity as such a big issue, nor symbol of status. I'm 16 and in high school. i lost ma virginity last year with my ex, we were both virgins and it was pretty normal. Not a breath-taking experience, just normal. I really would'nt have minded keeping my virginity but i wanted to make my girlfriend happy, so we had sex. In other words i'm just trying to tell you, don't let anyone pressure you. Thats a choice you have to make for yourself. If it means anything i would love to be in your shoes, in todays world your really something special.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010):

Dude, i am 13 but in my opinion, you shouldn't have sex until you are and your "partner' are ready and until you are married.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010):

I can't believe these answers, everyone is just saying what makes them feel good. What ever happened to waiting till you get married ? Not comfortable. What is comfortable ? We all want to have sex, but at the same time don't want to face the consequences for going against God's will. People, if you haven't had sex yet, don't. Just wait until you get married, the way God intended it. God bless you all!!!!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010):

I lost my virginity when i was 20 yrs old. i guess u can say i was curious. i had been with my bf for just about a month and we werent in love or anything. i felt like everyone was doing it and i just wanted to see what it was like. i dont regret it, i just wish it would have been more special. the guy i was with was sort of an asshole and didnt really deserve my virginiy. i suggest waiting as long as u can and making sure u are in love and that ur partner makes it special for you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010):

Losing your virginity is different for everyone. Some people have sex for the first time and don't have a great experience for whatever reasons. These people will explain that losing ones virginity is not anything special. On the other hand, some people have fairytale moments upon losing their virginity and thereafter view the loss of their virginity as a once in a lifetime moment.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that its not about when you have sex (obviously you should wait until your comfortable), but who you have it with. Even if you lost your virginity and have regrets, sex can be just as fulfilling and intimate if its with someone you have strong feelings for.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010):

Sex is so touchy, im 15 and almost lost it last night. i wanted too so bad, i knew i had to stop. i made my incredible boyfriend take me home. he wasnt at all upset or dissapointed in me, he doesnt ever want to pressure me and im so grateful for that. I slept on it and woke up in the morning regrettful that i had gone as far as i did, and i got terrified of pregnacy. Im SO glad i slept on it. the urge to have sex right there was incredible, but now, i KNOW i wont feel it that strongly again until the time is right for me and my boyfriend and i have been together longer. when i loose my virginty (hopefully too this special guy) i want it to be out of love and carefully protected so i wont need to regret it. I cant image what might have happened to me not only possible physically, but emotionally if i had done the deed that night. My advice::: If youve thought about it, but fear your too young or not ready, and the opportunity presents itself, stop. Explain that you love him/her and dont want this to turn into just a sex thing. maybe later, but not now. if they love you like the incredible man im with, they'll definetly wait until your ready. go home and give it a lot of thought. think about your future and what might happen. If you still feel that passion afterwards, just MAKE SURE your are protected. Doctors cant legally tell your parents that your thinking about sex without your permission, and they can help you get access to birth control. Dont get caught up in the moment and regret it for the rest of your life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010):

I would say the answer varies from person to person. You have to look at maturity. For guys, and girls at a young age, losing their virginity is a status symbol, since it means they got "all the way". And thus, those who lost their virginity, particularly men around your age, still consider it a status symbol. Girls mature quicker, and are more mature to begin with, so they stop giving so much care to it after a while. The answer you get from person to person will vary based on their maturity level I guess. This may just be me talking, a 17 year old male who has only had one chance to lose his to a gay peer, a chance that I didn't want to take. Thus far, perhaps I'm viewing it too mechanically, but the human mind plays largely into this.

Look at the responses you've gotten from the females. "I lost mine at 14 and I regret it." Others say things along like "Well... the average is 15-17..." But honestly, you will rarely get a sympathetic answer from a 17 year old non-virgin, because they don't have to worry about it now do they? Females from my experience often have an easier time with it, because men are often times more desperate. I don't know how things work in the UK, but I assume it's similar to the US.

Basically, don't trust the averages. The averages aren't fair, they basically pick people and ask them, but these people aren't classed by superficial things that peers might do for you. They pick people often from age 25-35, but honestly... they missed so many variables. How overweight were you? What clubs were you in? Were you extremely social or semi-social or socially excluded? Who did you hang out with? What did you do in your free time? Etc.

Alcohol helps. Those "partiers" are often bound to loose their virginity quicker, because they get out more and booze helps loosen the mind and the hormones. Those who don't go to parties, well they are up the creek without a paddle more often than the others. If they don't talk with the opposite sex well, or portray a low aura of self confidence, they are again set back.

Of course, those who are also more physically attractive will have an easier time with it, even if they are low in self confidence. Confidence will build as soon as they notice people noticing them, and within no time they will be in better shape than not. Even if they don't boast much of a preferable personality, they get in much easier.

Don't beat yourself up in short. The time will come, the girl will come, and although many guys dream for a virgin, those things are getting rarer and rarer once you get out of high school.

Disclaimer: If I have offended anyone in this, I apologize. I'm just speaking from my own experience and studies in social interactions here, I express no bias one way or the other towards any one group or person.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010):

Wel i think its gud that you are waiting, im 15 nd my bf wants to hav sex but i dont really see the point, not everything should be about sex and im glad my bf is waiting for me:)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010):

You should wait until you find the right girl/guy to lose your virginity with. It needs to be special. I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, and now I'm 24 and completely regret losing it at such a young age. The younger you are, the more curious, I suppose.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010):

You are not a weirdo. Im 22 and im a virgin. Ive had so many oppertunities to lose it, but i just dont care. Not until im in love. I may be a woman but trust me most of my friends would say that shows your not a male pig.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010):

I bet this article answer most of sex question : http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/ready_or_not_the_scarleteen_sex_readiness_checklist

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010):

you not old dude..sex should be special,as much as it souns so clesia- its very much true...im the same age as you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

I lost my virginity when i was 17 years. Why i did it? i dont know i guess you can say i was curious. But i dont regret a thing as of today im still with that person, he is a wonderful guy and i love him so much. I am now 23 and I do see a future with him, we have been dating for 6 1/2 years, we are not married, we dont have kids. Several people tells us you guys should be married all ready and when are you guys gonna have kids. I dont feel ready to have kids or be married. But if you talk to me about sex or how i call it making love its amayzing when you feel him/her close to you, and you feel their skin touching yours its an undescribable feeling. I agree with all of you sex doesnt have age limit do it when you are ready. i didnt but you can say i was lucky.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010):

Don't worry fellas, that sense of respect is hard to stick with, and i too have not made love to a woman, but the sense of being with the woman i want to love forever, is not an excuse but something to look forward to, so chins up and eyes open...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010):

I know what you mean. I’m a 20 year old automotive technician; my coworkers are the dirtiest people I’ve ever been around. I’ve never even kissed a girl but when it comes up I lie my ass off, I figure they will never know. What I found is there are lots of girls that have no respect for themselves and go through boyfriends like clothes, usually directly proportional. Those are the girls you find at parties and clubs usually. When the day come that I lose my virginity I want it to be with the girl that will be the mother of my children. That kind of love is something that very few people will ever have the chance to experience. And it’s quite a relief to hear that there are still a group of galls out there that have the respect for themselves to wait. Don’t let it get to you

Dallas Tx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010):

Im a 18 almost 19 year old guy and I am a virgin and think I might be for awhile. Probably didnt help that I was a very late devoloper so everyone around me looks 3 years older than me which makes it pretty arkward talking to girls my age espicially when I was in high school. What annoyed me was when I knew a girl liked me or thought I was cute I was always to scared and shy to talk to them or ask them out because I didnt feel ready to date and espicially sex because I was tiny untill a year or so ago! Aslo because of this I never went to partys with my mates and get wasted and ended up loosing all my highschool friends because I felt alot younger than them so I avoided them. Damn you puberty!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010):

Hey I am also 20 but a female I will be 21 in march I to am a virgin. I believe its okay not to have sex yet though some may think its werid I am waiting for someone special and I might even stay a virgin till I am married. So don't freak you aren't the only one out theirm. ~ Rebekah

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

I'm a dude of 19 years old and I just lost mines like 3 weeks back.

Nothing special but its pretty cool.

I wont get laid again until marriage now.

Average here id say is about 20 (UK)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010):

Well, I lost mine in 2008, when i was 14 and 4 months. I think that you should just do it when you're ready. Not just as a casual thing. However, after losing it i feel, (if your not with the same person) that it doesnt matter about having sex until you do find someone you want. Then you stop playing around and stay with them till your ready etc.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010):

I think the right time for you to have sex is when you are married.There are too many young people just having sex. I am right really proud of you; just follow your heart.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010):

I lost my Virginity at 13 to my 15 year old boyfriend. You could say I was unlucky as I fell pregnant. I didnt relize I was pregnant until I was 6 months gone. It was to late for me to have an abortion but now Im glad I didnt. I had Aimee on the 20th August 2009 and she is adoroble. My boyfriend has stuck bu me and been great. I have gone back to school and all my friends have been so supportive of me.

I dont think there should be an age limit on sex. Its when you feel ready. I felt ready at 13 but many might feel happier to wait I feel its your desion not anyone elses so dont let people presure you if your not ready.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010):

well personally i think its sexy when ppl wait till thr ready. i lost my virginity at 15 after seening a guy for a week and a half. i wasnt presured into it - i was ready, i was engaged to him for 2 years, we dated for 4 in total, so i felt he was the rite guy, but we finished last mnth and now it feels like im back to square 1 again. jus wait till ur ready, you'll now when that is.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010):

Well I'm 19 year old dude and still a virgin,with average outlook,well I think a bit cute too,but good person who can keep secret for girls who don't want to other people know that they're not virgins anymore,also I've read your opinions and agree that it's not about average age,it's about average mind:) and also think that it's not that easy to find a right person to give your virginity to

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010):

i think you should wait until you find a special person who you know will respect your mind and body and that you love it just means so much more when you have that

i lost mine at 14 almost 15 and its taken me about 6 years to find a person who really means something to me and makes sex count

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010):

Dude dont rush it the average age to lose ur virginity is 18 so.. thats just the average theres people who have gone though their whole lives without sex wait for the right girl then... lets just see what happens...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010):

I lost mine at about 15 and a half. I really don't know why i did it, i didn't love the guy until a while later. I was getting over my first real boyfriend which lasted 5 months. And i started dating this guy and we were only together for 3 weeks before i gave it up. I thought that it would make our relationship last, probably because the first boyfriend broke up with me because i wouldn't let him in my pants, literally I had to force him off me after he pinned me down and was trying to undo my belt after 10 min. of fighting him off he left, went upstairs. then he threw down a paper airplane saying it was over. I know how immature!! But thats why I gave it up to the second bf so he would stick around. But what actually happened was I made myself go into the relationship to serious too fast, trapping myself into thinking i was in love. He was 17. But after a little over 2 years of him not wanting to get his GED or a job I finally left him for a 21 year old when I was almost 18. I was a party girl at this time mainly to get friends since I was a "loser" and ended up sleeping up with this new guy the third drunken night. We lasted 2 months if that. It was pretty much a rebound relationship that i was intoxicated for 90% of the time. But now almost 3 years later, I'm with the man on my dreams and we are married with a daughter and another on the way. We talk about how we both wish we had waited until a meaningful relationship when we decided to take the next step. It would have meant a lot more. I regret it soooo much. So the best thing to do is to wait until you find that special someone. If anyone pressures you to do it, they aren't that someone. And never listen to people who would say anything negative about your choice.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010):

i don't know what possible event could have happened as a small child or something, but i am absolutely terrified to touch a girl in any sexual way. this is anything in contact with a girl, intimacy,.

im a handsome 20 yr old guy, never had sex. never kissed a girl properly. ive even fell in love a few times, and ive known they felt for me, but i could never push over from being the smiling handsome boy to the boyfriend kissing her. that gap hasnt been breached. this is why im always depressed, because when im out of any situation and just thinking by myself i regret all the times i could have, and how i know i cant. but when im in situations when sex could occur, my heart shakes, my gut contracts, i just want to get the hell away, and i feel [know] that that is whats best for me and the right thing. then i kill my own soul slowly as i walk away, and it hurts. my friend just took away a beautiful girl who loved me and slept in my bed and had eyes for me and all this. in bed she said im bored and then i massaged her a little on the arms and i had an erection and she rubbed into me a little, yet i still couldnt touch her. i felt its like an invasion, i think in horror of their reaction. wierded out. so now she went off with my friend im pretty upset. i always also go through huge daydreams and imaginations where i picture her as my girlfriend and everyone loves her and we walk around together and hug and... when we get to kissing my mind does a blank, and sex i have to imagine in quite an abstract form if its with the girl im loving. my mind breaks down because it cant imagine it, or the idea is scarred. then the wonderful dreams i have turn nightmarish, and i go through huge emotional whirlwinds that all originated from nothing. that's when i do a weird thing which is edging away from the real girl and sending coded impossible messages to the girl i can only imagine. and this puts me in a worse state. and makes them feel wierd.

so most of my days are spent thinking horribly about horrible things which should be lovely and pure and great. all the girls i loved loved me back but would never help me over the jump. because they dont understand because of the odd way i act.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2010):

Urmmm... i think about average is 17 to lose your virginity as said so in my magazeen, but it doesn't matter whateva your age.

people ownly should when they feel ready. even if its in there 20's :) x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

if someone calls you a weirdo because you're still a virgin, its because they are easy and will give it to anyone. he thinks you're weird because most people are easy and don't care about who they have sex with or when. wait for a special person, i personally am going to wait until i'm married to have sex. but the average is around 18!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

I was 22 but I am only an average looking guy. The good looking guys in my school and neighborhood lost their virginity around 13-15 and most girls lost their virginity around 14-15

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

I'm 21, lost it last year.. I persoally didn't bother trying to lose it, and have done with only 2 different girls, which I dated seriously. I have friends who said they lost at prom night, but I'm pretty sure they came to lose it at their 20s... People lie alot about this, even tho some do lose at 13, the average is around 17-18.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010):

here is what i think, i think you should wait when you are ready and find that special someone because sex isn't supposed to be taken lightly or done because everyone one else is doing it. Take your time and f*** what everyone else thinks.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010):

i wouldn't exactly call you a weirdo but its a little better than what some other people do- i mean how they try to have a lot of sex in high school- but its not weird its just actually kinda a good thing- no problems hope i helped if i didnt sorry goodbye.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010):

I am from QLD, Australia and I am just over 15 and still a virgin. As far as I know, all my friends are too but it is obvious and quite saddening that there would probably be poeple under 14 that aren't a virgin at my school. Anyway, the average age is probably around 16 - 18 over here.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010):

It's nowhere near a bad thing that you're still a virgin. I'm 19 and still a virgin. I think it's actually a huge turn on when guys my age haven't had sex yet. Especially if it's because they are waiting for the right person. You want to lose it to someone that means something to you, not someone random you meet a party. I have some friends who lost their virginity when they were in their mid-teens and regret not waiting for someone who meant something. Don't be down on yourself for it, and if people think you're weird for it, then just blow them off. Wait for someone you actually care about. :).

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010):

it dont matter if you use protection and dont mess up

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010):

There is absolutely nothing weird about being a virgin. I just turned nineteen and I am still a virgin and proud of it. I am personally waiting for marriage because I want it to be something special that only my husband and I have shared together. Honestly keep your virginity for the right person because you can't get it back once it is gone.

My senior year of high school I was on the swim team and when my friend and I found out that this one really cute guy was still a virgin, it honestly really turned us on. It was so hott to know that he was still a virgin, so just keep it for that right someone.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010):

I recently turned 18 and although many people regret their first time i really didnt! i lost my virginity about 3 weeks after i turned 16, but i made my boyfriend wait 2 years before i actually had sex, you should just wait until your ready there is nothing weird about it at all! you'll know when the right person comes along, you wouldnt want to regret your first time would you?? xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

I think personally that you should wait until you find the woman who you are comfortable having sex with. The average age to lose your virginity at is between 17 and 18 but that is beside the point. I myself am 22 and I only recently lost my virginity but I for one waited until i found the right man (who is my current boyfriend and i would trust him with my life.)Patience is a Virtue.x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

I'm 18 right at the moment...I tell girls I am a virgin...They say "aww that so cute" Pisses me off But hey IDC because I'm waiting for the most Sexiest skinny girl to lose it too. just back in October I had the chance on loosening it it I was DRUNK and i had a kinda thick blond chick in my bed (not my type at all) and I was feeling up on her (i really was wanting to get some) but out of nowhere I thought "this really who i want to give it up too? a random girl.." I said "No" so I stopped feeling on her and I said "I'm tired im going to bed" so she left and i felt better because Now IM GLAD I QUIT TALKING TO HER BECAUSE I have a OmG Hot ass girl that really likes me and She wants to get with me so bad and I can't wait till Monday.

*cough* anyway what I'm saying (As a virgin myself) save it to the girl U want I think it will pleasure you more than just a random chick.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

NO! Not at all. My current boyfriend was a virgin when we met and he was nineteen. It made me feel alot more reassured and safe when we first had sex, and it also made it alot more special for the both of us. I believe it is an admirable trait in a guy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

I'm a 24 year old woman, and I can assure you that's not strange at all. It's becoming more and more common for people to have sex at a younger age, but it's not "weird" to still be a virgin at 20. I dated a guy who was 27 and still a virgin. I didn't lose mine until I was 19, personally. But trust me, it's much better to have sex for the first time with someone that you care about and who cares about you. It's not really so much about the right age to lose it as it is about the right person to lose it to.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

Dont worry about what other people think you should be happy that you havent lost your virginity. My friend had a baby on accident when she was 14. imagine doing that to a fourteen year old girl. My opion on losing your viriginity should be atlest above 16 but then its your choice you make the right disscion and worry about who you lose your virginity to make sure shes a beautiful woman that you love! im only 11 and girls at my school in my year level already talk about having sex when they are 13. so make the right dission and whateva you do make sure you dont regreat it!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

Way to go bro, i am proud to be a virgin myself i am 22 in 7 days. I'll lose it to someone i love and the one i am going to marry. It makes sense too since i want my future partner to be a virgin i should be one as well. Its give and take man.

P.S. The woman in your life will be very lucky indeed

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010):

I am 17 and lost my virginity when I was 16 last year to someone who was 19: he didn't even know I was a virgin at the time. I felt under a lot of pressure to do it but I also wanted to. I barely knew the person and wasn't with him. Now we just get together every now and then. To be honest this has not turned out the way that I wanted because now our relationship is just sex and now I am starting to really like him. In my opinion I would recommend that you wait until you find someone you really like and it really doens't matter what age you are.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010):

it is perfectly normal to still be a virgin at 20 years old. it does not matter if you are still a virgin at 30 years old, if you haven't found someone that you want to do it with than you just haven't done it. those who lose there virginity while they're about 14 are not even mature enough and most likely not even fully developed. i don't beleive that you need to wait for marriage but i do think that you should wait until your at an age where you are wise enough to no what you are getting yourself into. i am 14 and have thought about having sex several times but i no that i am not in the mental mind set or mature enough for the life changing experience.an age i think is appropriate to lose your virginity is about 16 but, i think that you should lose your virinity before you turn 35.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010):

i am a girl, and lost my virginity when i was 14. im now 18 and dont regret it, although i wouldnt do it again if i went back in time. i dont think age is the issue; its more waiting until you feel ready. the first time is the time you will remember for the rest of your life, so losing your virginity while youre drunk at a party or something will probably not make you feel good in the future. don't worry about what other people say; its your choice and as long as you are okay with it, it doesnt matter.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010):

I lost mine when I was 15. I thought I loved the person and he loved me, but it was just another teen phase. Don't feel bad about it. I wish i had waited

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010):

well i just moved here about 4 1/2 months ago, and the first day i was here i met this girl. i didnt immediately fall for her but eventually we started hanging out. she just turned 17 and i 16, but i think about her all the time. we are always with eachother and i never get sick of her or her me. and god is she hot lol. anyway, we decided to have sex last week for my first time and it was amazing. theres a connection now with her that i have never had before and i love her so much more and her me. so i think its essential to having a good relationship becauuse we are extremely happy and attatched to eachother as a result of it :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010):

The only way mine is going out is if something goes IN a ring. And even then i'm waiting a while. I dont want to be like all those other teens going out and doing stuff I know I would regret the next day, or month, or even the years to come. Oh by the way i'm 17. With new things happening almost every week, before you know it 10 and 11 year olds will be thinking it completely normal having sex. so no your completely normal, almost TOO normal. :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010):

Well...I was almost 17 when i first had sex and I really don't regret. Sometimes you find the right person and you just feel that you want to give yourself and everything you are to him. I'm still with that boy and we've been together for almost 2 years. What I'm saying is that you decide if it's the right time or not.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010):

Hi, i would recommend to anyone to wait, i lost mine 6 months ago when i was 16 and i totally regret, i had sex with this girl whist we were only friends.... after having sex we decided to be in a relationship but that only lasted 2 weeks,,,, i found out she had sex with other guys during that time. i was extremly angry and i think about it everyday.. i always wanted to have sex but i really wish i waited now.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010):

In today's world, it's not unusual for a 14 or 15 year old to be a non-virgin. Sex has become more of a pleasure thing, but I beleive it's a sacred thing only meant for true love, thats why i'm keeping mine until marriage. Teens today are looking for it just for pleasure or to be "cool" but if you ask me, they are just flat out weird. A good beneifet of waiting for that special person is that if you give it to a random person and that person just walks out, thats just..just...WRONG!! I had a friend that went to a different Jr. High for a few weeks, when she came back, she told me that only about 60% of the school were virgins, i'm not an expert in math, but I think that means 1 out of every 4 had done it. When I heard this I was like holy cow!! Now, to tell you the truth, I myself am only 11, and just the thought of not being a virgin makes me uneasy. But yes, being a virgin at 20 is completely normal, its just all those young teens making you feel un-normal. But hey, thats just my oppinion, and sorry I wrote a book, im such a free-speaker, or is it typer????

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010):

yeah

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010):

I am 27 and yet virgin

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009):

Im 16 And a virgin and i think sex should wait after marriage. I mean, relationships is not about sex. Its about true passionate love. If you truly love the person, sex is not an answer to improve your relationship. Many people have sex for the fun of it, and many think that sex is a necessary step to continue their relationship. Thats wrong thinking. My partner also loves it the way my relationship with her is now. And one more thing. If your partner has never mentioned sex to you doesnt means that you can ask her for sex. She might be oblidged to have sex with you to satisfy you but that doesnt mean that she wants it. Find a pace an dun just boom out the question asking whether she wans sex with you directly. Talk to her casually and ask her opinions about sex and slowly talk to her about it. If she feels that sex is ok then its all up to you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009):

I'm 18 and I haven't had sex, and neither has my boyfriend who is the same age as me. We both think we should wait until marriage.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009):

I'm 17 in two months time an I'm still a virgin. I respect the fact that many people think it's admirable to keep one's virginity and I would never make a person feel bad about still being a virgin. However, I am absolutely desperate to lose my virginity as I personally don't see it as being something which requires great thought and value. A 16 year old naturally has enormous sexual urges, which in my opinion should be fulfilled. I personally believe that if I lost my virginity I would gain a great deal of confidence. If someone offered me sex right now, I would undoubtely agree no matter what they looked like. I am greatly frustrated by people who treat it as something which has any significance other than the pleasure it provides. When most people are around the age of 13/14 they have the ability to have sex, and I find it hard to understand why this ability has to be restrained. People put too much value on the loss of their virginity and I can't comprehend why anyone would wait.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009):

Waiting untill marriage is the best way to go.... i say to all the young girls and boys who are looking to lose your verginity think twice, it should be a special thing to you when the right time comes.I'am 21years and still a vergin their is no rush.You should have a partner who loves you and will wait on you no matter what.......stay strong and positive always

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009):

Well the average age is 15 to 17 years old rated by the u.s. government

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

i lost mine 20 days before i was to turn 14

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

i lost mine at 15...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):

it doesnt matter if u havent had sex yet! alot of people wait for the right person and others just dont. i mean i made a mistake of thinking i was ready but wasnt so my boyfriend took mine but he left me soon after, we rushed into it but if u wait for the right girl im sure u will be happy enough to lose your vaginity to her! just because u havent lost your vaginity doesnt mean your a wierdo it means u are more than willing to wait!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009):

man, dont sweat it. For the longest time, i thought i was ready but as i waited a bit longer is when i actually knew i was ready. So im glad i didnt do it when i thought i was ready i was glad i did it when i knew i was ready, even though this guy and i arnt togther anymore. I would never take it back.x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009):

Listen, I am 18 and still a virgin. I am proud to be one. I have had many opportunities to lose my virginity but I always tell the person that I am waiting until marriage. A lot of girls like that you are saving yourself. They think it is cute. But it is up to you. You will lose your virginity when you are ready and you have found the right woman.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009):

I personally think that if you are not sexually attracted to someone then you cant be sure of them as in marriage.

but on the other hand... sex means so many different things to so many people. some think sex is a gift, some think its just a verb, either way its your life and you only get one.

live how you want and do the things that make you happy.

im 19 btw and i lost mine at 14 :\ not something that im proud of but i do enjoy having sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009):

Hey man,

Staying a virgin till marriage limits your chances of getting a STD by a lot. I think it is 1 in 5 non married sexualy active people get a STD. STD are painful, emberressing, and can be deadly. Also staying a virgin till marriage ensures that you will save that special experience for the right person and it will make your marriage stronger and more fullfilling in the long run. The same self control used to stay a virgin is what can hold a marriage together. You probably only have a couple of years to wait before you can give your wife that gift. You can do it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009):

i was 11 when i lost mine. it was a mistake.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009):

I'm almost 19 and I am a virgin. I've had a handful boyfriends (and girlfriends) so far, but I'm waiting to find the right person. Someone who I completely trust, who i care about deeply, and who I know cares deeply about me, and has good intentions. My last boyfriend always talked about "when we have sex" and to be honest, it scared me away from him. I already knew I wasn't going to sleep with him, and al this talk about sex scared me.

Be yourself. have sex when you're ready, and not a moment sooner.

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A male reader, bigudig United States +, writes (8 December 2009):

dude be cool, be yourself. I didnt loose mine until marriage. i was 23

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009):

hey man i didnt lose mine until 22, when I got married. I girlfriend now my wife, we dated for 6 years and never had sex. Dude dont let anyone pressure you into having sex. having sex doesnt make you cool. being yourself does. (i know it sounds cheeze,but it is ture. stay strong my man

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009):

yes u r

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009):

Forget those people, if i were to tell you that you had to wait until your 30 to have sex but you would meet the love of your life and be happy forever or you could have sex with the hottest girl(or boy, lets face it, i dont know you:-p) in the world but without the happiness for life which would you pick? Then you need to ask yourself what kind of person you want to be with and ask yourself if you are who THEY want to be with? And by this I mean all the stupid stuff, if you want a hot chick then she probably wants you to be hot too, so...are you hot? and pretty much do this with everything you do. If you find that nothing about you needs correcting then maybe you are looking in the wrong spots or for the wrong person. After that its about confidence, heart and lets face it...money, if you want attention then itll cost you but make sure when you meet someone you like you don't back down(but dont become a stalker) and never forget that its your heart that decides your true love, not your head(or whatever sterotypes that have been drilled into you).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009):

my ex bf lost his virginity at 20 and I know cause I lost mine to him that same day. I know he had girls trying to give themselves to him but he wanted it to be special. I also have a few guy friends who are still virgins because they want to find the right girl. One is waiting till marriage and he's 20.

The point is, just because you didnt get laid in high school, doesnt mean it wont happen later. It'll happen before you know it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009):

i had sex 2 months before my 17th birthday and it wasn't cause i truly wanted to to be honest i really didn't love this boy and i dont' think he truly loved me because after our first time he was still great but i met someoen else who appreciated me more as a person and i fell for him, he was handsome,smart,funny and i communicated really well with him and he is my dream boy , now when i think of him and i think oh SO DREAMY! I wish i'd waited sincerely do and i dont' believe losing it makes u lose value i think the value is in ur personality an din urself not with wether u've had sex before.I think alot of the reason i made this error was the lack of explaining my parents gave to me and soemtimes i wake up at night. I am seeing a psychiatrist for this. I wish i was still a virgin or lost it to this dream boy of mine even though he wasn't a virgin. As far as religion goes to this i think even if it's a sin,If you change god will forgive u and he'll make it like it didn't happen because it's like mary she was a hooker and then she was forgiven so if god can forgive a woman who sold herself for money then i'm sure he can forgive me for a mistake i made, and that gives me some hope that it wasn't all bad but i know one thing the guy who got me was really lucky because i was a good person and i believed in god and i saved myself for as long as i could because god protected me but sometimes u gotta have the power to say no and because my parents made all my decision up until i was 14 i never truly learned to say no and because of that today i make alot of wrong decision because i dont know what to choose. So i need to ask god for help and i'm sure i will change

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009):

I am a female and I think that is perfectly normal not to have had sex at 20 years old. The average age is 16 because kids want to rush and have children. But I think if you were a safe teenager, you shouldn't have sex until married and at least 21-25 years old. So you are not a weirdo, you are perfectly normal.(at least in a ladies point of view.)Men usually like to go and lose their virginity to be "cool". Remember you are normal maybe even perfect. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009):

it doesnt matter when. its when you feel ready to los it. but always keep abstinence until marriage. that is the best way and healthier because if you los your virginity with someone else who already did sex they might have a STD and that is very DANGEROUS!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009):

No, it doesn't matter if u hav lost ur virginity or not. it doesn't mean that u are different from everyone else. The person that called you a weirdo is just a freak!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009):

I'm nearly 20 and still a virgin- not through want of trying though. I think it's important to wait until you KNOW you're with the person who's right for you- it's the CLICK you need to look for- not lust, but the feeling that "I want you and ONLY you". Only you can decide who/when/where is right for you.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2009):

Miamine agony auntUK average as of 2009 is 17years old.. not that it matters, some are older and some are younger..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009):

i was 14. it was like opening a new world, i don't understand why people describe it as bad, its just different. way different from anything in childhood. very glad i lost it at 14. find someone you trust as a friend, and lose it to them. never heard of anyone regretting that. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009):

13 that's when I lost mine but it does not matter ok

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009):

I'm a 21, and lost mine at 14 and i absolutely regret it i wish i still was one. my fiance is 22 and he lost his to me he said he was waiting for the right one. we have been together for almost 5 years and didn't have sex for the first year. it really depends on when you are completely ready & coming from a girl him being a virgin definitely helped my decision in deciding that he was serious about me and more believable in saying he wanted marriage. as with other guys with multiple sex partners wouldn't have had a chance. save it you'll be happier that you did.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009):

no i was 21

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009):

My boyfriend and I were 17 when we lost our virginity together. Sex for the first time can be kinda weird and awkward so loosing it together with someone you deeply care about , who is loving, understanding and can communicate is wonderful. I'm 47 now and he's still my friend. We both think we probably would have been better off if we had married each other but it wasn't meant to be. What was meant to be is that I have deep feelings and special memories with someone amazing. I cherish my memories and have no regrets. I was young but my first was with someone extremely special. Finding the right person is more important than age. It gets you off to such a great start and sex with communication and love is fantastic and ever so yummy!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009):

Alright here, I am 16 and i know that none of you may want to listen to me becausebof how young i am but the truth is that i do have an opinion on this subject. I have only had one girlfriend in my life, though i have had crushes and many girls that liked me, being blonde haired blue eyes californian. But none of them meant enough to me as my current girlfriend. We have been dating for a year and a half and we have not gone any further than kissing. And that is fine with me! I am a Christian teenager and i know that we are doing the right thing, i respect her way too much to have sex at this age! I am too young and i know that i am. The only way "the time will be right" is when we are married because when you have sex it is a bonding thing and its like giving your heart to someone and then from there on out each time you decide to have sex with someone new its like your first partner and you have just ripped a piece of your heart given it to her and then this vicious cycle continues. 2 timothy 2:22 says, Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Which means dont listen to your worldy friends on this topic they truely do not know because all they are doing is screwing up their lives and their heart so that they cant fully give it to the person they marry. So my advice to you is do not listen to your flesh and abstain till marriage and remain pure because i promise you that you WILL NOT regret having paitence and you will much more enjoy your first time when you know it was who you are supposed to be with!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009):

I'm 19 and still a virgin, but so are most of my friends so that has probably helped with not feeling pressured into such things. But for those you aren't under the same circumstance I would say don't let the negative remarks get to you. Those who speak aren't and can't live your life for you. In college i have already meet numerous people who lost it to party drunken one night stands to guys they didn't know and cried about it for weeks. I have meet plenty of guys and girls that regret their first (especially at a young age when they weren't fully capable of making wise and fully thought through decisions) and now they give it up to people they've been in relationships with for less than a month or not even dating. I think this just helps me to confirm that those who waited are like rare gifts and even more special. I hope it'll allow someone else to feel like they're the best yet too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

i lost my virginity when i was 13 and honestly it didnt bother me. i had sex for the first time with someone i didnt know that well, and had no feelings for. i did pick up a reputation from then onwards with lads thinking i was perhaps easy and yeah i did fall for it, having sex with random lads that i hardly knew. i'm 16 now and dont like to think how many people i have been with.

i did 'start young' if you like and my current boyfriend whom i am living with isn't too bothered as he lost his virginity at a young age. sex is sex at the end of the day just some people are different. when the time comes the time comes,just make sure you feel comfortable and dont rush into anything you are unsure of.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

ok i think that sex is a ok to have before marriage. it's just compasion that you have for a loved one or another human being and i havnt had sex yet but i dont think ill have unless i really like this person and know that i want to have sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009):

I'm 13 years old and I'm still a virgin. I do have a boyfriend and I really love him and he loves me too. I know people who are younger than me who have lost their virginity.

Even though I love my boyfriend, I don't wanna have sex right now since I'm so young. I don't known what these girls are thinking about now df these days; thinking they could have sex any time they feel like.

I believe sex is suppose to be between two married people. If I do loose it before marriage, I hope I'm still with the guy and get married to him for I'll be already committing sin. The other day I gave advice to a student who was 4 form about sex. But what I have to say to you all virgins, wait don't rush your time will come; if you want wait till marriage that's best.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009):

They guy who called you a weirdo is probably a virgin dude. I lost mine at 26 everyone is different - some people go through their whole lives and don't have sex with anyone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009):

Hey man I'm 20 years old myself and I'm in the same boat as you. It's not that I haven't gotten close to it either...or looks or anything like that. I don't trust women period...and after I went through puberty it becomes alot easier to deal with urges. I for one am proud that I'm a virgin...I mean girls and guys may laugh about it now...but ten years from now you're gonna be the guy that girls are crazy about anyways.

It's perfectly normal man, you'll have sex when you're damn good and ready. Be proud of being different than the masses of sex-crazed freaks.

How many cocky jerks only interested in sex are around here anyways? Girls will get sick of it and when they do, you'll be there. :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009):

Im 17 nearly 18 and im still a virgin. Most friends lost it at the age of 14-16. I am the only virgin out of all my friends. Sometimes i do feel a bit embarressed but I have respect for myself and would only want to lose it to someone who i cared for. The only question is when am i going to find them?

To be honest when people ask and i tell them they say its a good thing. Men dont want girls that have been round half the city!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009):

i have a guy friend who is hot, 21 and is just every girl's dream and guess what? he's still a virgin. so you are not alone

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009):

I have a boyfriend who is a year younger than me (im 17) and although we really love each other I dont think I want to have sex. Im saving it for marriage. And he is very understanding about it too, not just like random a________s who think screwing girls is just a normal part of life. Of course, losing your virginity seems like no big deal nowadays (with the media and culture changes) but I still think that waiting until your married or at least found the right person you truly love is the way to go. Virgins are way sexier anyways ;)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009):

please wait. preferably till ur married im 24 almost married and still a virgin all my friends tell me that they regret having sex so early and wish they were like me. i encourage you to do the same. your virginity is only worth losing to the same person you will do it with your whole life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009):

I am 21 and still a virgin. It's no big deal - people ask me how many girls i've hooked up with and what ever and I say im a virgin and im proud of it. Dont get me wrong i still 'hook up' with girls, just not going all the way to sex. It will come, no worries.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009):

I lost mine when I was 13. She was the same age. I honestly wish I would have waited until I was older, better yet marriage. Once your virginity is gone, it's gone. No going back. For me, after loosing it so young I had over 30 sex partners before graduating high school. It's not bragging, what happened to me was sexual addiction. I'm in my 40's now and have had 200 easy. I do have kids and preach to them all the time about it. Since they were old enough to understand. What I think happens, it's hard to keep a commitment when you loose it real young. Don't do it under peer pressure. It's your body and when the time is right with the right partner, you will know. But wait it out. Masturbation is a great alternative if you aren't sure.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009):

Hello there,

You are definately not a weirdo. You need to be very careful who you are intimate with. Today there are sexually transmitted diseases, possible pregnancy, not to mention broken hearts and people being used.

Don't let ignorant people pressure you into things that you are not ready for.

I know many people, including myself, who kept their virginity until marriage!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

yep well i lost mine at 15 and most of my mates did around that time soo...

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A male reader, j223 United States +, writes (21 October 2009):

I'm almost 20 and I'm still a virgin I hanent had sex because I'm waiting till I find the right one.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009):

if anyone hasnt lost their virginity yet dont worry

there's plenty of people who have had sex early had sex late in their lives. the time will come some time dont hesitate.

all things will come when the time is right

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009):

It's important to lose it, don't wait any more. Waiting just makes it into an even bigger deal, and frankly, the vast majority of women you can be with will have already lost it and had several sexual partners by the time they get to you. Your partner won't understand why it's a big deal. She'll probably even think that waiting made you happier somehow.

It's not sweet that you're holding onto it. It's not a part of yourself that you should avoid giving up to the wrong person. It's a part of a normal, healthy lifestyle, and repressing it will only give you a complex. Sex is an important part of the male ego. Often for women, it's the opposite, with a social pressure to not admit sex with many partners, to not be a "slut" and so on. This means that women are unlikely to understand your feelings on the matter, and I'd encourage you not to listen to their advice.

I lost mine at 21. My girlfriend lost hers at 17, and had several sexual partners before me. She made me feel inadequate, and when I admitted this (honesty is perhaps a virtue to be discussed elsewhere), I made her feel like a slut. She wasn't a slut though - she was just normal, and it was unfair to her that I made her feel that way. Have sex, narrow the gap so it won't bother you later on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009):

No you are NOT a weirdo. Well done for not giving in to peer pressure. I am 39 next month and the reason I am still a virgin is primarily for religious reasons but also to be honest I havent yet met a man who was available and interested who I would want to lose it with! I'd like to say I am proud and in a way I am but unfortunately society does view people like us (and particularly me as I am so much older) as either gay or some kind of freak. It seems to be a source of amusement to some people at work but I just put it down to their immaturity and perhaps even jealousy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009):

You are not a werido for being a 20 year old virgin it shows that you are respectable and not one of these fast ass kids loosing their virginity at 12-15 yrs old having sex with people they don't really like and becoming parents at a young age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009):

It is considered the 'norm' to lose your virginity at the ages 15-17. Being 20 and having not yet lost it is not abnormal, although being male, the more pressurising sex to lose your virginity, probably makes things very difficult for you. There is nothing wrong with still being a virgin, when people say things that make fun of you, it is truly because they are jealous. Even if their first time went well and it was with someone they liked, having sex too early can affect you negatively. Me, having lost my virginity at the tender age of 14, i regret it all the time even though it went fine. There is no hurry, have sex when the time is right, no sooner.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009):

i dont think that you are too old but i think some people would loose their virginity at te early age like 17 or 18 but i think your well cool cus u have been waiting 4 the right person so dont be affended by people if they say ur weird there just jealos because they proboly wish that they were still virgins cus they got turned down in sex or he did it wrong hehe!!!!! be strong bye bye!!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009):

The average age to loose your virginity in britain for young people aged between 15 and 24 is 15. But this age has rapidly decreased over the last twenty years. If you had asked this question just ten years ago you would be well within the average. If I was you I wouldn't worry about it, there is no real 'normal' age. Everyone is different and a time that may be right for someone else may be wrong for you. The fact that you have waited so long may be considered endearing by a lot of women. The main thing is just to make sure your first time is special and with someone you care about - you have the rest of your life to have sex so it's nice to have a good first time to remember. But don't stress - the part of your brain that makes decisions isn't even fully developed until your 25 so how are you supposed to choose the right person younger than that?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009):

i had sex when i was 16, im 17 now, but id say most of the kids in my grade are virgins. Theres about 400 or so kids in my grade and I would say 1 outta every 10 or 12 has had sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

no your not i believe that you should only give your body with he right person maybe your just not ready yet but dont let anyone pressure you into doing it!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009):

the average age is 18-23 dont sweat it around time to go to college

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009):

hey im 21 and still virgin too, im a musician i've been on the road and obviously many girls want to be with me but im reserving it for a special someone, im a rock musician so is kinda weird specially cause they say im very good looking and think i have hundreds of women so nobody believes me when i say im a virgin, but hey don't worry, you'll know when the right time will come, and you probably be nervous on how it feels, if your gonna cum too quickly or if the girl freaks out, i have had those questions and i use to have a pretty damn low self-esteem so hold up bro the time and the girl will come right whenever you feel you;re ready just do it, that first lady will be the special one, so keep heads up no long face aight?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009):

I think that's really sweet that you are defying the norm of people rushing to have sex. I think i am going to wait until marriage...thats what feels right to me( im 17). My advice is dont rush, you will wind up regretting it!

btw...looking at the other comments i would say the people in support of you keeping your virginity much outweigh the people against it...(I find having sex when one is 10 and pregnant at 13, disgusting!!! ) I would much rather be with a guy who waited to lose his virginity (preferably with me!!)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009):

age is nothing but a numba dude.it does not matter.i'm seventeen and turning 18 in a few days and havent done it yet.i love my girl friend we are waiting for wen she gets ready for it because weve just been datinn for a couple of weeks.if it means waiting for her as long as it takes then so be it.it does not matter,my friends look at me and because many girls are attracted to me they think i am a player and ive been with every girl at school but im actually preseving my self for the on e i love.

its not wierd beeing a virgin

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009):

im 17 and still a virgin im my own morals way i believe it's best to wait until marriage. ive been asked many times to have sex, and actually alot of guys have more respect for me then others since im not a whore like every other teen these days. in other words, there isnt the the right age to looser ur virginity its just until u meet the one, and better if ur married to ur loved oone. keep ur head up, dont let this society put u down.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009):

I'm 13, and don't want to have sex till at least 15 years of age. But this one girl in my school had sex over the summer with her "boyfriend" when she was 12!!!!

She is a major slut though. But they're still together and probably will be for a while. I think the average age now is probably 14-16.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009):

DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS.

i'm 18 and a virgin and although i've been asked by some guys, i am waiting.

i know very few boys my age who are virgins, which is disappointing because i've always wanted my first time to be with a virgin.

so, yes, cherish your virginity- because those girls out there who are still virgins, will most likely want to also have their first time with a virgin (aka YOU).

so just wait until you're ready! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009):

im fifteen and still a virgin

about half of my friends have lost it already.

one of my friends lost hers a 14 to an older jerk, then had sex with someone else she just met a month later and she never talked to him again. and then 2 weeks later with another guy. so basically she slept with three guys before 15

and never talked to any other them again.

yeah most people would say shes a slut. but she doesnt regret it.

just remember that you only lose it once.

so once you give it to someone you cant have it back. keeep it for someone special.

most girls would rather have a virgin than someone who lost it to a random chick just to lose it. so no, you are not a weirdo at all, i really respect you

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009):

So, you will be 22 yo this year. Still a "v"? I'm much older but seeing those who posted twice my age, I'd say I'm somewhat relieved being still me ;)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009):

No, course u aint wierd dude. Im 17 and I still havnt lost mine, like another person who wrote "people assume i've been around the block a few times because of my good looks" i can completely agree with that. I can believe it isnt the most important thing in your life at the moment, but when the time comes, you'll know it. So dont try to rush it er anything, just let it come natural, and with a person you love (not tryin to sound corny or anything).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009):

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend I had been dating a little over a year. I was 15 at the time. We dated for almost 2 more years after that. The only thing that I regret is that we didn't work out. I won't say that it isn't best to wait, but I will say, take the time to get to know eachother. If you don't wait, learn as much as possible about eachother. Also, learn alot about sex and what love means to you and get a good handle on your emotions. If things don't work out, then the added sex won't make issues overly complicated. I'm 20 now, and I can say that I don't regret who I lost my virginity too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009):

Your not a wierdo!!! whoever called you that is an idiot. So what if you havent lost your virginity yet? Lots of people haven't, you just dont hear about those people. All you hear about are the people who have lost it.

Thats atleast how it is in high school. lol.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009):

no ya not mate! it just finding a girl lol epecially wen u gt a job and freinds!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009):

i was 13 losing mine. And i had never met the lad i lost it to before that night. i dont regret it though.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009):

ok, so im 16. i lost my virginity when i was 15 to girl who i only dated for 5 days! i regret it so much. when u lose ure virginity u sort of give ure love away to the person. that might sound weird coming from a guy, but thats how i feel. the girl ended up breaking my heart and it was terrible. i dont think having sex at my age is bad but just make sure u give ure heart and virginity to someone who wont toy with u and be will be loyal.

how could some of u have had sex at 12 and 13??? tell me how that went down!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009):

Where I live, its common for everyone to lose it at 13 or 14 and I'm the last virgin of all my friends. I didn't even kiss anyone until I was 15. Its not like I'm some freak or anything. I've hooked up with over 15 people and I'm 16 but I've never had sex. I just figure I'll wait until I find someone I actually care about. I don't think sex is a big deal, in fact most of my friends sleep around and we openly joke around about it, but at least have your first time with someone you have some feelings for.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009):

hey, um i know this is an old question but i still want to voice my opinion. i'm turning 13 in december and i've masturbated before. um i know i sound really s.l.u.t.t.y. but i wass curious. i've found that i love the feeling of an orgasm but i don't want to have sex with a guy until i'm ready to have a baby just in case. i believe that i haven't actually lost my virginity since a male hasn't penetrated my body so thats good. i wouldn't really mind losing my virginity in my teens. i just would not want to take the chance of getting pregnant or getting a disease or infection. so i think, to answer your question, people should wait until they're 20+ because i wouldn't want to have a baby when i'm a teen. i think the average last year was 16+ and now i don't know. i also think its awesome that you haven't lost your virginity yet. i think it's kind of old for guys now, but you should totally cherish it. so good for you. thanks for letting my post, it feels good to say all of this. bye. :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

uh ya!

i lost my virginity at 13

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

Hey :)

I'm a 22 year old model and my virginity is still in tact!

People always assume that because of my looks I have been around the blocks a couple of times :) but I want to save it for someone special and anyone who thinks the same is very sweet in my opinion! :)

-Darling, 22 x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009):

I was 17. And no, you're not at all weird, personally I think it's lovely if you're saving yourself. Anyone that says you're a weirdo is obviously just using sex as some kind of proof of masculinity, and clearly you're comfortable enough not to use sex as a pathway to some kind of label or status. Go you :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

I am straight, 30 & still virgin and never had any kind of rlnshp with any kinf of girl, if it makes u feel any better.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009):

I am 45 and have not lost my virginity yet I am proud of it aswell

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009):

I'm 18 and haven't lost it yet.

I've never even had a proper boyfriend.

Don't worry about it, it's your body, nobody else's.

Personally I think it's stupid to lose your virginity when your only 13/14/15/16.. because you don't even know what you want.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009):

I lost my virginity to a girl I didn't care about when I was 14 and have regretted it every day since.

Wait for the right person don't worry about when your 'supposed' to have sex, because the person you lose it to, if they are worth it, wont care.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009):

Ok so heres the thing you know when you are ready If you are seriously doubting it don't do it or you will regret it I lost mine when I was17 to a guy I never even cared about but I dont regret it because I was ready and wanted to

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009):

I lost my virginity when i was 16 to a man who was 20. I did not love him, but i don't regret it either. I do wish it was a little more special sometimes, but i was ready. I wasn't pressured since most of my friends were still virgins. Main thing is the age you loose your virginity doesn't really matter much. Just make sure that it is something that you are truly ready to do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009):

I am 14 but I'm losing my virginity the day pigs fly. boys are after me, but to me virginity is personal gold and I'm not gonna give it up for anyone. and if I ever want kids ( I doubt it) I can adopt. everybody says, "oh you'll change your mind when you get older" but I never listen to anyone but myself. your decision, my beleif is virginity is pure gold, and sex is a theif to come and take it away.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009):

Look i just want to say to the teenagers who lost their virginity at 14 and 15, its not really cool. I was 15 when i lost mine and i thought i knew what i was doin but you can't know at that age. Its a new experience and you think you're in love and you're really mature but you'll come to find theres alot to learn. I regret losing my virginity and i really respect those who have resisted the sexual urges and kept theirs! Fair play! Im 17 now and have been with m boyfriend nearly a year now.Waiting is best because when you really love someone it means alot more.

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A male reader, heartfullalove Ireland + , writes (5 August 2009):

heartfullalove agony auntLast anon - the OP's question was two years ago, so it's possible that he may have lost his virginity since then. lol

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009):

i think its really sweet that you havent lost your virginity yet im 15 and i still havent yet eitheir i dont really think it matters what age u are neccsarily (aslong as your not a child) and you think that your ready both physically and mentally...dont let anybody preasure you into it because you want to enjoy it and after all you only lose your virginity once so u want to make it as special as possible! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009):

i lost my virginity at 13 lol but theres no age you just gotta find the right guy now im 14 and im still with that guy:)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009):

It always depends. I'm an eighteen year old female and I am still a virgin. I want to learn to control my urges first. I got my period a couple months before my fifteenth birthday, but my cycles were totally irregular annnovulatory (which means a lining to the uterus was built, but no egg was released) until about a year later, when I was sixteen because my body was still growing and developing during that first year. After sixteen, my cycles became increasingly regular and ovulatory, which caused me to develop intense sexual urges. Some men tried to take advantage of that, which made me very uncomfortable. Don't let anyone pressure you into it. If you ever do it, do it with someone you really want to do it with deep in your heart.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009):

ok.

just ignore ur friends.

They say it because they're imature.

it is NOT an embarrassing thing. Well u might feel it's imbarrassing, but that's just because u r nt old enough.

Being a virgon doesn't mean that u r dumb or u r unattractive or anything like that!

u should actually be proud of it.

Well do it when u r really in luv with sb and u r both ready for it. respect urself nd the person u luv.

Well i would think it would be the best to have it after getting married.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009):

Don't worry yourself over it. I'm 18 in like a month and am still a virgin, and not in the least bit bothered! Way over half my friends of a similar age are as well, only about a quarter have lost it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009):

hey, im 14 now, and there is so much pressure, to go to house parties and get fingered and have oral sex, and its ridiculous, i go to a private all girls school and it hard to get boys from other schools who are nice and dont just want a quickie, and want you to give them head. it stupid .

boys need to become less self centred and sex oreintated.

arghh

and i think its really really sweet that you have kept it until this age. i think it does matter what age you lose it. as my friend had sex at 14 and the condom broke, and i had to buy her a prgnancy test, people our age really need to stop growing up too quickly.

i think you should respect your slef more and be proud that you havent lost it yet. :) x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009):

Everyone,

I just had an epiphany. I have figured out how to end every std forever!!! We all need to do our part. The key to ending every std forever is keeping your virginity until you are married. Not engagaged but married. It is common sense people.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009):

I am fifteen years old and I lost my virginity when I was fourteen. My boyfriend and I had been together 10 months and we were both ready. We are still together and now going on 16 months. Being a virgin is not a bad thing. Saving your first time for that special someone is best. Good luck. You sound like a great guy...being able to not have sex and wait. :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009):

well im fourteen and lost my virginity at a party with the girl i love it doesnt matter how old u are as long as u find the right person and you feel your readyy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009):

I lost it at my 18 birthday after party

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009):

don't worry I'm 47 and just started dating. It just means the majority of people in the world are dirty dumbass sluts who don't wait until they are married or really should do it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009):

im 15, i am not a virgin, i lost it a few mothes ago... i dont regret anything though, it was with my boyfriend, were compleatly in love and i wouldnt change anything about how we did it... so lokk if your 20 and still a virgin it just means you have some more looking to do before THAT girl comes along who youll want to get with and hopefully shell understand that,,, be proud of what you have, dont trade it away jut to fit in...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009):

I lost my virginity at 16 years old. It's good to wait till you feel ready!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009):

Im 15 and I lost it when I was 14. It was with a girl i was goin out with for 3 years and we jsut thought it was the right time.. Just go with the flow. When you and your mate is ready, you will both know. Trust me, one of these days you will me making out in the kitchen and secconds later you will be in the bedroom XD

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009):

im 24 and i had sex when i was 12 but u can go at your own speed

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009):

your all mad sex is great ;)

you cant judge it till you have had it really can you?

i think its funny how much abuse we will get for this

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009):

I think you are amazing and most girls would love the fact you appretiate women and are waiting for someone special so don't just go out with an intention to give your v to some stranger from a club. You will find someone who loves you and respects you and then the time will come when it feels right I am still a virgin and would feel more comfertable if my partner was a virgin too. So don't worry. Sex is sex, but finding someone you truelly love is the important thing. Your time will come good luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009):

im 18 never had sex never even kissed anyone before. you may feel you haven't done'it' before because you are unattractive or something like that but thats untrue because i am a very attractive women (WOW I sound big headed) but my whole life ive been told im beautiful sexy ive never been told im ugly or even slightly unattractive. i personally have no idea why it is that i have not had any expericance its not a conscious desion of mine to stay celibate i would happirly do 'it' but somthing in me stops myself i dont know what it is maybe im to fussy and think too high of myself. anyway thats my 2 cents.xoxo

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009):

I'm 16 years old going on 17, and Im still a virgin. I don't have a passion for sex. So Im keeping my virginity until I die. I can't risk giving my precious gift to a(n) worthless asshoes. There are not any good man out there now a days.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009):

I'm an 18 year old male in college. I made the concious decision to stay a virgin until it felt right, it's not that I'm unattractive or incredibly conservative, it's a decision I've made for me. Be proud that you've made it 20 years, you're a rarity these days and your friends may give you a hard time but when it boils down to it, it's your decision and if you're comfortable with it what does it matter?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009):

im 12 and fantisize about sex all the time! i can't wait till the day comes but i think it doesnt matter what age u lose ur virginity at...as long as u take it seriously and be safe....u wont regret doin it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009):

my mates always talk about the age they think they will, and some already have.

to be honest im not bothered when it is, im only going to do it when im ready and im with someone i trully love,:)x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009):

I know this has like, a million answers and it's pretty old, but i want to be included! Lol..

I was 16.

I was in a relationship for over a year with him first and waited till i was 16 and thought i was ready.

:D

~SY.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009):

Well I think you should be proud to still be a virgin! If your friends make fun of you than I'm hear to tell you they are not true friends and they are probably jealous because they can't say the same for themselves! If you ask some females about it they will tell you that you should be proud! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin and probably 80% of people who aren't wish they had waited! Just don't worry about what people say and whenever you do find the right one she will be very impressed with you!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009):

Well, I'm a 19 year old girl & still a virgin :)

I've dated a few guys, but didn't like any of them enough to even kiss them!

So, if anyone's the most screwed up it's me! Neither kissed nor had sex with anyone. lol.

Although I'd absolutely love to date, I'm planning on staying a virgin till marriage. And trust me, I'd love it if the guy I was with was still a virgin too.

And maybe it's just where I live, but most of my friends are impressed I'm still a virgin - they don't make fun of me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009):

Just keep in mind that men and women are biologically different in this regard. Men's innate instinct is to spread their seed far and wide, hence for a guy more important than keeping your virginity is the ability to attract and have sex with as many different women as possible. For women, if they get pregnant, they need a supportive father around. Hence, for them, they need to filter men to find the guy that will support them. Women value virginity, cause the only guy that will bother to wait around long enough for marriage to have sex with them is the guy that truly loves them. For a guy my recommendation would be to read up on pick-up literature (PUA), and learn how to pick up chicks and lose that virginity of yours (being careful to use protection of course!). You can do it man, it's an empowering journey and we all lose our virginity at diffent ages, no big deal.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009):

It was 24 for me and im not gonna lie it felt very embarrising because all my friends was 16,17,18. And it fill even more bad when you get a girlfriend she lost hers at a young age and you lost yours at an old age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009):

I really do see myself as weird for not losing my virginity and I am 16 already, almost 17. To be honest, I don't give a damn about being unique, I thinks it is kinda cool. Also, I don't see sex as special, it really is just another thing to do. At the moment, I can not see myself doing it, school is all I have on my mind and I can not see it happening any time soon. Won't mind losing it, not really a priority at the moment. Yeah, I am a cold lady, future prospects are all that interests me.

Proud of it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009):

I lost mine when I was 23 to a complete jerk. Wait until you are with someone you really love because there's an awful lot of emotions attached to sex and you could just end up getting hurt. You're by no means on your own though. Most polls will tell you people lose theirs around 18 but I doubt many of the people answering that will be answering honestly.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009):

Yeah I'm the same age as you, I'm going to college, I have a good job, I own a nice new car and have a 3 bedroom house that I live in alone. Yet I haven’t done very much with the ladies, don't exactly know why. Don't let these people fool you we are kind of weird, maybe we have some emotional problems or maybe we are looking for something... well I came to this page hoping you would know, oh well.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009):

I had it when i was 17 and i loved the girl that i was with and that was all that mattered.Don't worry,when the time is right,it will happen.

p.s your "friend" probably has a small dick"

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009):

I think u should make ur decision based on ur moral values.If u dnt wnt 2 hav sex that's ur business there will always be persons to call u all sorts of names.Dont have sex bcaz it will make u lok cool............wait until u find the right person

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009):

Im 16 years old and still a virgin. I really do think that im wierd because i havnt done it yet and sorry dude by if your like 20 and still havnt, you should really get it sorted. No pressure but just go out on the drink and let the good times role.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009):

well i did it when i was 16 mmmmm 16 i loved that age lol

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009):

i just turned 15 and im not a virgin. age doesnt matter, the person your with is more important. i know im not slutty and it was with my boyfriend. we were both ready and we love each other so thats all that matters. =)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009):

personally it all depends cause we are all humans

don't listen to what haters say dude it will be okay

you can lose it any day you can lose it any way

long as you use protection homie you can celebrate

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009):

i lost my v at 14, i dont think thetre is an age that you should loose it because i broke up with that boyfriend and havent slept with anyone else but i dont regret our relationship. We both knew that we were ready and had discussed it beforehand which is important, we boht enjoyed it and were safe which is all that matters. So Good Luck and just wait until you are certain it is what you want, ps. dont be drunk!

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009):

i suppose theres not really an average age :P

im 14 and iv lost it - which may seem slutty but i dont care :D

i wouldnt worry to much about it lol - i think its really cool that your not lying about it when you could just tell people that you have

xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009):

dont listen 2 da loser that u call ur friend

i wanna wait til im reali ready 2.

no 1 cars n if they do its probaly regret their 1st tim

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009):

I'm 19 & still a virgin. My bf is a virgin to but he really wants to do it. Says it's weird if u don't do it before ur teens are over. I kinda want to wait until marriage though, I've come close to doing it w/him but haven't gone all the way. I was thinking it's better if u wait for someone special & don't just do it w/anyone...I love my bf but after thinking it over I think I'll probably wait (at least until it feels absolutely right anyway). And there's nothing wrong w/being a 20 year old virgin in my opinion. I say there's no rush.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009):

I was 10 when i lost my virginity. I think it may have been too early. I had it with a 14 year old girl. she was beautiful, so i was interested. i had bearly reached puberty, and had an itty bitty dick. but it was still a blast. I recommentd waiting until at least 16 though.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009):

There shouldn't be any pressure, any hurry to lose your virginity. I'm a good looking intelligent guy and I didn't lose it until age 24. I was just waiting for the right person, as should anyone. And to the guy who called you a "weirdo"; he's most likely got a small dick.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009):

I'm a 17 year old virgin. There's nothing wrong with a virgin ur age. I personally think ur age doesn't matter. Just make sure ur married to them. Waiting is always the right think to do. :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009):

I think it depends on where you live.Im 15 and im not a virgin. I've never even had a boyfriend. Its not that i'm slutty, i just like it. but its common to loose your virginity young where i live.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009):

I am 17 and have two kids because of early sexual experiments. I lost it when I was 12 and really regret it. I had my first child at 14 and second at 16. Just hold onto your virginity untill you feel it's right. Don't rush it :)

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A male reader, pint Canada +, writes (13 April 2009):

I lost mine at 16 and gf was 13 and more experienced than me It was a teenage thing no regrets and it doesn't matter what the average I'd.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009):

no yr not weird at all, im 26 & still virgin, its not that i don't want to have sex just that never meet right person. too much pressure now days to rush into things.Im not religious so its not a issue having sex before marriage but ive never had proper boyfriend so when i meet someone it will be extra special

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009):

im 20 and randomly searched the net for exactly the same reason. ur not alone, and from what it seems there are plenty of us out there...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009):

I am 16 and im not sure if i've had sex. i almost / kind of had drunk sex with a girl at a party, and let me tell you it sucks not knowing if im a virgin or not.

make sure ur first time is good

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009):

personally im nearly 16 and i havent had sex and i only know a couple people who have had it. i definetly think the average age isnt 16 (well maybe in the US) but here in Canada its probably 17-24. so dont worry if your a virgin you be the judge to decide when you want it dont fall victim to peer pressure

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009):

I'm sixteen and I sometimes feel a little embarrassed that I'm a virgin, although I don't know why as most people my age haven't. I would quite like to (although I am desperately shy about my body so I'm not sure) and I've done everything else but sex, but it isn't something that I worry too much about.

It was cruel of your friend to call you a weirdo because you definitely aren't.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009):

Im 15 nad i haven't had sex... ig euss its not that bad that u havent had sex yet when i think about it but when i heard that it kinda a shocked me:o but one person on here wrote that they were 36 thats messsed up they must have deeper psychological issues that they want to wait that much but just get =drunk and go get layed :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009):

I guess this makes me weird as I am 36 and still haven't lost my virginity. I guess I have this vision on you only get one first time and I want it to be with the right person and not just sleep with anyone. It is not that i have not had the opportunity to sleep with anyone because i have and most broke up with me because i wouldn't sleep with them. So my advice is do it when your comfortable and don';t let anyone pressure you into having sex and 20 is young and still have alot of time to have sex if you choose.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009):

omg dude its so normal its so much better to wait until marriage...i cant even tell u how much betr it is...normal healthy girls who actually love u will appritiate the fact that u waited for her and didnt take the stupid idea!!!!!! believe me!!!!! i say marriage!!!!!!!! all the way!!!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009):

me and my wife lost our virginity together in our 30s.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009):

I am 27 and had not had any kind of intimate romantic relations of any kind. So if it makes you feel any better: I am a lot more screwed up than you :-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009):

I admire the fact that you haven't lost your virginity yet. Too many people are in a rush to do it. Im a high shcool girl and the only one in my school that is still a virgin. Don't give it up just to fit in with the crowd!

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A male reader, Tymn United States +, writes (27 November 2008):

My take on the whole virginity thing:

dude, I'm 18 and still have mine. I have found that, despite the common attitude of teen-aged and early 20's guys, I'm fine with not being an arrogant asshole who degrates women and thinks his penis is the best thing in his life. I have never considered women as a trophy or reward... the fact that i have decency, separates me from the "average" male jack-off.

Yes, sex is something i want someday, however I'm not willing to adapt the dick-headed attitudes that unfortunately work in getting laid. My unwillingness to lower myself and compromise my values, is what has held me back...could i have fucked some drunk chick? yeah, but like i said, I'm better than that. Any man or women who makes fun of you for being a virgin, secretly wishes they were deep down. Besides religious morals, saving yourself has many benefits, the woman who you will eventually find and love, will feel special, and the experience will be the best in your life!, whereas those who weren't patient, feel a detached emotion and will lose significantly the full potential of this act of love. So, don't feel as if you are missing out on something, because those engaging in these acts early in life are the ones who are really missing out. it's proven, that married couples are destined to last, and not deteriorate, having only had one special partner, also, the concept of marital dishonesty is unlikely to be an issue, and i believe it will be worth the wait. Truth is, I love women. To a man, especially a virgin, these creatures possess a beauty unmatched by any earthly object. i never want to be someone who views women as objects instead of fellow people, for the sake of my own integrity and the pleasure of just seeing women as the beautiful creatures they are, i choose virginity, until i find the woman i know will be with me forever.

Oh, and who gives a fuck when other people lost their virginity? Your life is up to you, decide for yourself when you think the time is right. My advice is: don't just act on your basic animal instincts-- to fuck anything you can stick it in--instead, use the mind god gave you and plan in advanced to budget yourself and save up for the experience you'll really want. I'm 18 and a virgin, I'm proud of it and hope to remain so until i find the right woman.

Tim L. (tymn)--username.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008):

i was 14, and i am now 16 lol and im still with the girl, its good that your still a virgin, and when you have sex when your this young, it fucks with your mind, every time pregnancy comes into my mind, i shit myself lol

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008):

well im 17 and i think im a weirdo because i haven't lost mine but when i get a chance to just think about it without outside influences im kinda proud of myself...i don't believe that your a virgin at 20 because you can't get a date there is always someone that will have sex with you no matter what you look like act like etc...you don't have to make excuses like not getting a date as your reason for being a virgin if you waited this long then that means it really does matter to you and you don't have to be ashamed of that not because your a guy and it's not supposed to mean anything...i think it's sexy as hell for a man to be a virgin despite what people want you to think your virginity is pricless and deserves to be treated as nothing less than that...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008):

I'm 24 and still a virgin. In fact, I was talking about it with my therapist this week. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin into your 20's. No matter what your reasons are for being a virgin, they are your reasons and you have to stand by them until you are ready to lose your virginity. Don't let anybody tell you or try to convince you that your reasons are stupid, wrong, or outdated. Once again, there is no shame is being a virgin in your 20's.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008):

20 is by no means too old to be a virgin! I'm 25 and haven't had sex. It's a personal choice, and has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. Besides, many girls find virginity to be a very attractive quality. If it's the case that you've chosen to wait for marriage, it says how much you value your future wife. Your virginity is something you can only give to one person!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008):

hi, im 16 i was 12 when i lost my virginty and i was pregnant at 13 but i aborted, but i think its prett cool your still a virgin i meen your probly waiting till mariage and everything but if not go to a club pick up a girl take her home and have a nice sh*g. if i could go back i never would have lost my virginity so young, but the person i lost it to was my bestest friend and we are still good mates now like. i think its good to wait untill marriage so dont worry about it and dont listen to what people say. x

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A male reader, consciousmess United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2008):

Mate, don't worry at all. My advice is to use protection and do it with a slapper. It pays off for the first time to be with someone you don't give a shit about. Remember the direction of the hole as that is the angle you are erect.

I was 20 when I lost mine and I have no qualms about sharing that. I'll even go as far as saying when I went to Amsterdam at 28 I was nervous and flacid, so I also advise you to buy some Viagra on line - then you can see if you can beat my records of 11 times in one night (on 3 blue pills spread out over 3 hours).

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008):

its good to avoid sex for a while because sex confuses things, but its time for you to have sex when not having sex is more confusing than having it. ha. good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008):

It is perfectly normal to have not have had sex with someone.

But dont go have sex with a random person to end being a virgin.

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A female reader, Fiona xxx United Kingdom +, writes (24 June 2008):

Fiona xxx agony auntI was 18.

Don't worry about it; all in good time. Things happen when they feel right, with the right person etc.

Good luck.

Fiona x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

id lose it to girl that gets around if you know what i mean bein in your twenties if you get with a girl that you really like you dot want to cum five minutes into it give yourself some experience

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

well id say your kinda old i man i lost mine when i was 16 and ive had sevens partners thoroughout highschool whats there to worry about man just do it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008):

I am a 22 year old male and I am still a virgin. I have passed up many oppurtunities because it just didn't feel like the right time. The average age ranges from 15-17 so I suppose 16 would be right in the middle. Being a virgin is not something to be ashamed of. Being pressured should not affect your decision and most of all you should only have sex when you are ready for it. I hope this helps.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008):

I don't think it's too old at all. I'll admit that when I was 19 I became a little embarrassed and anxious that I hadn't lost my virginity yet. A year later I came close to losing it, but honestly I didn't feel like I was ready for it, so I chose not to. I have come to realize that you shouldn't let other people's opinions about virginity affect you. When the time comes, the time will come, just make sure you are ready for it yourself. And if you find that special person that you want to lose it to, then I wish you the best of the best. I plan on keeping mine for a few more years until I know I'm ready. Cheers.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

well, i'm 16 and haven't lost mine yet, and can't see myself losing it anytime soon. I think it's fine to keep your virginity until you are ready or have found the right person. The people who say you are a weirdo are probably trying to make themselves feel more superior, and are just covering up their insecurities.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008):

hay dude sex is important for men to do it can be bad for a man after puberty not to acording to mens health mag men who have sex live longer. but do it respectfully,(no abuse)use a condem until you are ready to have kids with someone you love, butt until then do in with some one you trust and/or love and have fun with it pleeeez each outher make it about her to sex isint the only thing you need to turn a girl on, and if your not your self when yo are doing it you souldent be doing it it meaning SEX :)-{-[

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008):

well, i'm personally 14 and i lost my virginity already.

i think it depends when you find that person special that you want to give it up too. I just happened to find my lover very eary, you might find yours later in life.

but sex feels good ;]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008):

I think it is fairly old im 14 and I have but it isnt abnormal there are millions of people who dont lose it until theier late twenties.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

I am 22. The first time I read the average age to lose virginity was in a newspaper about 8 years ago that said it was 15 (didn't specify for males or females). I live in Canada. I would just like to say that you don't seem like any kind of weirdo. I know plenty of guys who are still virgins in their 20's, and most of them aren't for religious reasons or looking for their soulmate or any crap like that. They are just simply limited when it comes to social contact with women or they are introverted or shy.

For me, if someone were to ask me if I am a virgin it would be a bit complicated to explain myself. You see, I am bi-curious (possibly bi-sexual). I have never done anything with a girl before, but have a few times with other guys. and even that i only started in my 20's. I would love an opportunity to have intercourse with a girl, but so far I have found guys are just so much more accessible for someone like me. You don't really have to chat them up, be all flirty-like. It's just been either on the net or with other guys i know who play that way, simply just asked or they asked me and we decided to hook up for it. And it can be no strings attached, and they are not offended if you don't want any kind of relationship or anything.

You don't sound like the type who is abstaining for religious reasons or because you are not ready or anything. So I would tell you that you are no weirdo and the right time is any time you get an opportunity and the right person is someone who is clean, disease-free and you think you would feel comfortable with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

I know what you mean and you being a guy probably makes it worse lol, but people who call you a weirdo are just weirdos lol (I think it's just because weird is out of the ordinary it's out of the ordinary for you to have admitted to keeping your virginity).

I read the average age for a British person to loose their virginity is 17 so it's probably around the same in the US too maybe, but thats just what people have reported themselves and they could obviously be lying so the 'average' is something we could never really know.

I'm 18 and a virgin too (though I'm a girl lol) and only because I just haven't met someone who I've wanted to have sex with yet who has felt the same for me. Keeping you're virginity to me is kinda sexy (along with honesty), especially if you're a guy and if people have a problem with it tell them they're idiots (because they are).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008):

It's not weird, I'm female, nearly 22, and haven't even had a boyfriend yet, i've never even been asked out and people keep telling me i'm cute and attractive. So I'm years away from loosing mine yet.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008):

no you're not weird at all

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008):

I was 24 when I lost my virginity, and it seemed like the right time, because that was when I had finally found the person I wanted to be with the rest of my life. At the time, we had been dating for over a year, were engaged, and would have been married if not for certain financial reasons.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008):

thats not weird at all..only in the eyes of sluts and STD'd horny kids. though i am 17, and i had sex when i was 14, i don't think 20 is any different. i was just curious with my girlfriend. we kept our sexual life going for more than a year, till we broke up. i don't regret anything, and as far as the soulmate stuff, you never know your soulmate, till its been too damn long to remember when you started dating...so if you're ready, your ready. and i swear, i am a senior in high school and though many think kids have lost it around 15, i think more than half are still virgins.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007):

Ok, so there may be an average age yeah, but who ever said that we have be average? i lost my virginity quite young and although i dont have any huge regrets, i look at where i am now in my life and think i wish i had waited and shared it with the man im actually in love with now and who i can really connect with, rather than a boy who i now no longer have anything to do with. At the end of the day its your choice, but society puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on sex, when truthfully the best sex of my life hasn't been until i fell in love. So take ur time and enjoy the new experiance when its ready, rushing it will only make it forced and u may regret it. Sex as far as i see it should be special and so i say well done for waiting and good luck for when it happens and the time is right!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007):

The average is 17 in the UK, but 18 worldwide.

I'm 20 and have never had sex, out of my friends about half have and half haven't and none of them had sex younger than 17. I really wouldn't worry. I think it's quite nice to be in a proper relationship before you start to have sex. Personally, I think it can seem a bit odd having sex when you're still at school ~ you know going to lessons, wearing a uniform and being a child during the day, then having sex at night.

Another thing is that now you're a bit older, when you do start having sex you'll probably be better informed about how to keep it safe, and, if a mistake should occur and your partner gets pregnant you'll be more able to deal with that in an adult manner. That's one of my reasons for waiting: I don't want to have sex until I feel I'd be able to cope well with an unwanted pregnancy.

Hope that helps ~ also, remember that if the average age is 18 then for every 16 year-old there's a 20 year-old, so you're far from odd!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007):

I am 17 years old, and I lost my virginity a couple weeks ago. Honestly, you are not a weirdo. Six months ago, I thought I was going to be a virgin atleast until near the end of my degree in medicine (around 24 years old).

Now I met this girl and she is probably one of the greatest things in my life right now.

All in all, when you become less shy with the opposite sex, only then will you have an opportunity to lose it.

Now I don't know if you plan on having sex after marriage or believe in anything like that, but I just want to tell you that regardless of if you want to marry her or not, you have to love the person you lose your virginity to.

One of my friends lost his in a one-night-stand, and he regretted it for a good 3 months, but there is no reason why you have to cry over spilled milk.

Now to reply to what the last person said (that soulmates don't exist and you should wait for miss perfect), I don't know if they do or not, but I think there is one right girl for every guy and vice versa. That doesn't mean you will instantly love her and she will be perfect in every way. That simply means that you have to get to know her, accept her flaws and fall in love with her. Only then can you have a soulmate.

What I don't believe in is love at first sight. You can't love someone by the way they look, it just doesn't happen. So when you are good and ready to hang out with the opposite sex and spend some time with them, only then can you mold yourself and them to a good relationship.

Good luck on finding miss perfect.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007):

Hmmm... Personally I don't believe in the right time to lose it, there won't be time latter in my opinion, and to be honest soul mates is a bunch of B.S anyway. Really even if your wateing for that perfect girl, the thing is shill never come. (It's all in your head.) The perfect woman is a lie and a falsehood.

Also I should make mention that those of the opposite sex have no idea what it's like for a guy to get lade. They have the lugdury of having a lot bigger availability, not saying it's easy for a woman, just that the problems that man have our diffrent then that of woman, and wouldn't seem like problems at all to a man. Woman care about how they fell, and I guess thats imported, but guys just won't to have sex. I can easily say this because if we were to do a study on the homosexual male population VS. the Male Heterosexual population the amount of sex would be far grater in the homosexual field. This is due to men finding it a lot harder to deal with woman because woman don't just won't sex "almost all the time." It could be said that this is due to the amount of crap that has been fed into people's brans thanks to Disney's "happily ever after storys" and cartoons for kids that make people believe theres some kind of magic in the world. In truth there isn't, I never found it (I'm 17 and a virgin), so don't start believing that the womans going to come into your life and make everything OK. In truth if your not happy with your life she an't going to fix it. You need to fix whats wrong with your life on your own.

I see it this way the people that think that the body has a soul and believe in god or anything after death. Will say that you should keep your virginity. But I haven't herd anybody say the opposite opinion. I don't suggest you do this but the Oposing argument would sound something like this...

" Your body's got needs and sometimes you need to fill thous needs. When your hungry you fill your bell with found and it's just as easy to fill the lust that boils in your blood. The moralist will tell you to 'what for the right one' and 'don't do anything you might regret' but it's a bunch a bull shit. They think that gods going to damn your soul our some bull shit that men of power told them along time ago to keep them in line. But in the real world good, evil it's all a bunch of bull shit, at the end of the day there are winners and there are losers. Winners get what they want. losers pra that theres some super real being out there that will help them get what they won't. If you plan to be a winner then you got to get what you won't by any possible means. The best why I think is rape because that way you don't need to worry to much about her having some unforgivable disease unlike some whore; Get a nice one. virgins always good, nobody touched them yet. Find I nice place were nobody can find you, and were nobody can hear her scream. Then do it. You'll feel better after. Just like going to the fridge."

Personally I wouldn't do it, but sometime's it sounds better then the crap you got to put up with doing it the "right way".

All in all there our your two options, wait for the perfect girl , or go out and rape one. Both are ridicule's because nether one will happen. In the end guys like you and me a screwed (or lake there of) because were kinda like rejects. Nobody won't us and nobody care. Were not religious so we don't care about waiting. But were not bruits so will never go out and become rapist.

Anyways I'm rambling and I can't even remember what the hell my thesis was so good night.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007):

23 here. It sucks to a be a V when your pals and such aren't clean. All my friend are younger and 90% are or have been active. And I have wanted to lose it, sure. Though I'm shy so it helps to limit myself to a relationship or so. Just think of it as.. if you were to lose it.. you could end up with a kid. Your parents may like a grand-child in the future but they won't be in a rush and can you support a kid or 2? Just tolerate to BS that others may give and time will come (so I think so).

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007):

Well i'm 18 and i was reading such comments arround the net. And all i found was that it is important to keep your virginity until you meet the right girl, when i say the right girl i'm not refering to just a girl with a sexy back , i'm talkin about the girl that you really love, and actually marry her and live the rest of your life with her. That girl might be a virgn too..wich makes your love life REAL. Don't be too proud or too ashamed of being a virgin. What i mean is that don't stay a virgin until you are 40..I decided i'll stay virgin..

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A female reader, lisa21 United Kingdom +, writes (4 October 2007):

you are not a weirdo, its so nice to hear that some men want to wait and not follow others, i know a man who was 19 when he lost his virginity and after wished he'd waited longer, he lost it as he was pressurised at university.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

I'm 28, still a virgin . I've been tempted a lot to lose it over the years (& still do), but I have a lot of friends with much sexual experience and tell me to value my virginity. Religious reasons aside, one of the main things is the emotional attachment to your first. No matter what, you will almost aways remember your first; probably a contributing factor to why divorce rates are high. I can tell you that peer pressure will decrease as your friends mature in their early 20's; however, depending on various factors, your personal desire for sexual experience may increase.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

to be honest it's not as if i have a choice. can't get a girlfriend anyway and i'm not flirty enough to have a one night stand

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007):

Well to be honest I don't think your weird at all. To be a 20 year old virgin is something to be proud of not ashamed. You aren't "quite old" but you are a bit older than most which is a good thing.I believe that the average age is around 16 or 17. I really respect the fact that you have waited so long and that you're waiting for the right person to give something as importent as virginity to. I hope you don't get pressured into it, sence you told your friend that you are a virgin. Best of luck and I hope you find that special someone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007):

oh and i believe that the average age is about 17 for guys and sligthly lower for women

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A female reader, agonyauntlisaxxxx United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2007):

agonyauntlisaxxxx agony auntThere's no average age to lose your virginity you lose it when you chose to lose it to to someone special. Someone special you love and that loves you. Never lose it to someone meaningless, you will regrett that one day. I lost my virginity to my first love and I regrett it partly because of the way he treated me. But I've learnt I can't regrett cos I did love him. You will lose it when it's right. xx

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A male reader, duce00 United States +, writes (26 August 2007):

duce00 agony auntAhh yes the peer pressure to be a sexually active guy. Sure your friends may be active and sure the TV is telling you to go out and be a stone cold player, even society at large makes it seem like you should be getting down all day long in your early 20's. If you stay true to your self you can avoid these silly stereo types. Dont let this crap get to you because its just that CRAP!

I was 18 the first time I had sex and frankly I wished Id waited longer. At that point it was really meaningless and I was definately clumsy. I was 25 before I had any sex that was worth talking about. Now Im in my 30's and Ive learned alot. The truth is that you want to become a good lover not just have alot of sex. That only comes from being in a healthy commited relationship. Id wait untill you find a good woman, trust me you absolutely will have great sex and no regrets! This I can actuly guarantee!

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A female reader, skyebabe United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2007):

skyebabe agony auntNO YOU DECIDE WHEN TO HAVE SEX NOT NO ONE ELSE YOU DO IT WHEN YOUR READY IF YOU NOT READY YET THEN FINE BUT SOMETIMES OYU WANNA FIND THE RIGHT PERSON OR YOU MAY BELIVE IN NO SEX TILL MARRIGE IF U WANNA TALK EMAIL ME XX

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (22 August 2007):

love-him agony aunthey babe dont worry AT ALL!! my bf was a virgin before he met me ( the he fell in love with me which is why he gave it away 2 me ) and i was 16 and he was 20.. honestly dont listen to them.. there isnt an average age.. its when you feel right and when you find the right person.. I hope i helped bbe, mail me if u wanna talk x x x x

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (22 August 2007):

sexi agony auntHi,dont worry about these people.They are ignorant. There is no right age or a specified age to have sex. The right time is when you are ready an are in a stable relationship with someone you love.

Take your time,there is no hurry.

Regards

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A female reader, gcockerham United Kingdom +, writes (22 August 2007):

Dont worry about it. Everyone is differnt. My bf was 20 when he lost his to me this year!

It should be with the right person when you feel ready.

Personally i applaud you for waiting this long. My bf thought he was weird for not having done it by 20 years old but i think it is really admirable. He waited until the right time with the right person (which just so happened to be me! Lol)

:-)

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A male reader, Zim United Kingdom +, writes (22 August 2007):

Zim agony auntWhoa, seriously they called you a weirdo? I think they are the ones who have a problem here not you. Virginity is a special thing. Regardless of religion or race, you have sex when you feel most comfortable.

Im 20 myself, and although I have the reason of being a Christian for my virginity the reasons for me are probably just the same as yours. I'm guessing that you want to save your virginity for someone truly special, someone you'll meet in the future or indeed marry. And you know what, that is amazing. Saving yourself for that special person will make the world of difference to your future spouse and other people will respect you for it too.

In answer to your question, you are not too old. If people come up to me asking whether i've ever had sex, I proudly and straight out tell them that no, I am a virgin and proud of it. I have had a few of these experiences, and i've found that the more confident you are when you say it, the more likely they will leave you alone. In fact, if you are confident and happy about it, it builds up much respect for you and women will look at you in a different way (A VERY good way, trust me). Much of the original question asking stems from the fact that men want to feel part of a crowd and if a minority diverts from their "norm", then that person is classified as a "weirdo". However, this is nothing you should take to heart. That guy's comment was a typical defense in his position. I've seen it before and his comment would also have the dual purpose of pressuring you into thinking that you are too old for sex (which is the reason you have written to us). Being a virgin, is again slowly becoming a proud badge of honour in today's society. Wear it proudly.

Most of all, remember, it is your body. You do what you like with it and when you feel comfortable doing it. I don't know what your views are on sex, but don't bow down to peer pressure. Do everything at your own pace and with lots of thought as to what YOU really want not what others think.

I hope that advice helped you. I wish you all the luck in the future.

ZIM

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A female reader, ejn! Australia +, writes (22 August 2007):

ejn! agony aunthey:)

I seriously dont think it matters, youll loose your virginity when you want to / when your ready.

I know many people who are your age who havent yet had sex.

Just ignore people who think its weird, honestly. theres no point getting worried over it.

have a good night, bye ox

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007):

Um. Yeah I guess most kids lose their virginity in their teens. 15-17 I'd say is an average age. But certainly there is nothing wrong with you still being a virgin. Most kids have done certain things in their teens that I never did until my 20's. (Drugs and stuff and I don't feel weird about it.)

My ex bf was a virgin until he was 22. Everybody knew. No one thought it was weird. I mean he didn't lose any friends over it. And he certainly wasn't embarrassed about it. Jeez, right after he lost his virginity to me, he like yelled it out at a music festival cause he was so excited.

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