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anonymous
writes:what is the average age to lose your virginity? it's just that i'm a 20 year old male and i haven't had sex ever. yet when someone asked when i lost my virginity and i said i hadn't they called me a weirdo. am i quite old not to have had sex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): its good to avoid sex for a while because sex confuses things, but its time for you to have sex when not having sex is more confusing than having it. ha. good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): It is perfectly normal to have not have had sex with someone.
But dont go have sex with a random person to end being a virgin.
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female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (24 June 2008):
 I was 18.
Don't worry about it; all in good time. Things happen when they feel right, with the right person etc.
Good luck.
Fiona x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): id lose it to girl that gets around if you know what i mean bein in your twenties if you get with a girl that you really like you dot want to cum five minutes into it give yourself some experience
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): well id say your kinda old i man i lost mine when i was 16 and ive had sevens partners thoroughout highschool whats there to worry about man just do it
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): I am a 22 year old male and I am still a virgin. I have passed up many oppurtunities because it just didn't feel like the right time. The average age ranges from 15-17 so I suppose 16 would be right in the middle. Being a virgin is not something to be ashamed of. Being pressured should not affect your decision and most of all you should only have sex when you are ready for it. I hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): I don't think it's too old at all. I'll admit that when I was 19 I became a little embarrassed and anxious that I hadn't lost my virginity yet. A year later I came close to losing it, but honestly I didn't feel like I was ready for it, so I chose not to. I have come to realize that you shouldn't let other people's opinions about virginity affect you. When the time comes, the time will come, just make sure you are ready for it yourself. And if you find that special person that you want to lose it to, then I wish you the best of the best. I plan on keeping mine for a few more years until I know I'm ready. Cheers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): well, i'm 16 and haven't lost mine yet, and can't see myself losing it anytime soon. I think it's fine to keep your virginity until you are ready or have found the right person. The people who say you are a weirdo are probably trying to make themselves feel more superior, and are just covering up their insecurities.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): hay dude sex is important for men to do it can be bad for a man after puberty not to acording to mens health mag men who have sex live longer. but do it respectfully,(no abuse)use a condem until you are ready to have kids with someone you love, butt until then do in with some one you trust and/or love and have fun with it pleeeez each outher make it about her to sex isint the only thing you need to turn a girl on, and if your not your self when yo are doing it you souldent be doing it it meaning SEX :)-{-[
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): well, i'm personally 14 and i lost my virginity already.
i think it depends when you find that person special that you want to give it up too. I just happened to find my lover very eary, you might find yours later in life.
but sex feels good ;]
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): I think it is fairly old im 14 and I have but it isnt abnormal there are millions of people who dont lose it until theier late twenties.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): I am 22. The first time I read the average age to lose virginity was in a newspaper about 8 years ago that said it was 15 (didn't specify for males or females). I live in Canada. I would just like to say that you don't seem like any kind of weirdo. I know plenty of guys who are still virgins in their 20's, and most of them aren't for religious reasons or looking for their soulmate or any crap like that. They are just simply limited when it comes to social contact with women or they are introverted or shy. For me, if someone were to ask me if I am a virgin it would be a bit complicated to explain myself. You see, I am bi-curious (possibly bi-sexual). I have never done anything with a girl before, but have a few times with other guys. and even that i only started in my 20's. I would love an opportunity to have intercourse with a girl, but so far I have found guys are just so much more accessible for someone like me. You don't really have to chat them up, be all flirty-like. It's just been either on the net or with other guys i know who play that way, simply just asked or they asked me and we decided to hook up for it. And it can be no strings attached, and they are not offended if you don't want any kind of relationship or anything. You don't sound like the type who is abstaining for religious reasons or because you are not ready or anything. So I would tell you that you are no weirdo and the right time is any time you get an opportunity and the right person is someone who is clean, disease-free and you think you would feel comfortable with.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): I know what you mean and you being a guy probably makes it worse lol, but people who call you a weirdo are just weirdos lol (I think it's just because weird is out of the ordinary it's out of the ordinary for you to have admitted to keeping your virginity). I read the average age for a British person to loose their virginity is 17 so it's probably around the same in the US too maybe, but thats just what people have reported themselves and they could obviously be lying so the 'average' is something we could never really know. I'm 18 and a virgin too (though I'm a girl lol) and only because I just haven't met someone who I've wanted to have sex with yet who has felt the same for me. Keeping you're virginity to me is kinda sexy (along with honesty), especially if you're a guy and if people have a problem with it tell them they're idiots (because they are).
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): It's not weird, I'm female, nearly 22, and haven't even had a boyfriend yet, i've never even been asked out and people keep telling me i'm cute and attractive. So I'm years away from loosing mine yet.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): no you're not weird at all
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): I was 24 when I lost my virginity, and it seemed like the right time, because that was when I had finally found the person I wanted to be with the rest of my life. At the time, we had been dating for over a year, were engaged, and would have been married if not for certain financial reasons.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): thats not weird at all..only in the eyes of sluts and STD'd horny kids. though i am 17, and i had sex when i was 14, i don't think 20 is any different. i was just curious with my girlfriend. we kept our sexual life going for more than a year, till we broke up. i don't regret anything, and as far as the soulmate stuff, you never know your soulmate, till its been too damn long to remember when you started dating...so if you're ready, your ready. and i swear, i am a senior in high school and though many think kids have lost it around 15, i think more than half are still virgins.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): Ok, so there may be an average age yeah, but who ever said that we have be average? i lost my virginity quite young and although i dont have any huge regrets, i look at where i am now in my life and think i wish i had waited and shared it with the man im actually in love with now and who i can really connect with, rather than a boy who i now no longer have anything to do with. At the end of the day its your choice, but society puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on sex, when truthfully the best sex of my life hasn't been until i fell in love. So take ur time and enjoy the new experiance when its ready, rushing it will only make it forced and u may regret it. Sex as far as i see it should be special and so i say well done for waiting and good luck for when it happens and the time is right!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): The average is 17 in the UK, but 18 worldwide.
I'm 20 and have never had sex, out of my friends about half have and half haven't and none of them had sex younger than 17. I really wouldn't worry. I think it's quite nice to be in a proper relationship before you start to have sex. Personally, I think it can seem a bit odd having sex when you're still at school ~ you know going to lessons, wearing a uniform and being a child during the day, then having sex at night.
Another thing is that now you're a bit older, when you do start having sex you'll probably be better informed about how to keep it safe, and, if a mistake should occur and your partner gets pregnant you'll be more able to deal with that in an adult manner. That's one of my reasons for waiting: I don't want to have sex until I feel I'd be able to cope well with an unwanted pregnancy.
Hope that helps ~ also, remember that if the average age is 18 then for every 16 year-old there's a 20 year-old, so you're far from odd!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): I am 17 years old, and I lost my virginity a couple weeks ago. Honestly, you are not a weirdo. Six months ago, I thought I was going to be a virgin atleast until near the end of my degree in medicine (around 24 years old).
Now I met this girl and she is probably one of the greatest things in my life right now.
All in all, when you become less shy with the opposite sex, only then will you have an opportunity to lose it.
Now I don't know if you plan on having sex after marriage or believe in anything like that, but I just want to tell you that regardless of if you want to marry her or not, you have to love the person you lose your virginity to.
One of my friends lost his in a one-night-stand, and he regretted it for a good 3 months, but there is no reason why you have to cry over spilled milk.
Now to reply to what the last person said (that soulmates don't exist and you should wait for miss perfect), I don't know if they do or not, but I think there is one right girl for every guy and vice versa. That doesn't mean you will instantly love her and she will be perfect in every way. That simply means that you have to get to know her, accept her flaws and fall in love with her. Only then can you have a soulmate.
What I don't believe in is love at first sight. You can't love someone by the way they look, it just doesn't happen. So when you are good and ready to hang out with the opposite sex and spend some time with them, only then can you mold yourself and them to a good relationship.
Good luck on finding miss perfect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): Hmmm... Personally I don't believe in the right time to lose it, there won't be time latter in my opinion, and to be honest soul mates is a bunch of B.S anyway. Really even if your wateing for that perfect girl, the thing is shill never come. (It's all in your head.) The perfect woman is a lie and a falsehood.
Also I should make mention that those of the opposite sex have no idea what it's like for a guy to get lade. They have the lugdury of having a lot bigger availability, not saying it's easy for a woman, just that the problems that man have our diffrent then that of woman, and wouldn't seem like problems at all to a man. Woman care about how they fell, and I guess thats imported, but guys just won't to have sex. I can easily say this because if we were to do a study on the homosexual male population VS. the Male Heterosexual population the amount of sex would be far grater in the homosexual field. This is due to men finding it a lot harder to deal with woman because woman don't just won't sex "almost all the time." It could be said that this is due to the amount of crap that has been fed into people's brans thanks to Disney's "happily ever after storys" and cartoons for kids that make people believe theres some kind of magic in the world. In truth there isn't, I never found it (I'm 17 and a virgin), so don't start believing that the womans going to come into your life and make everything OK. In truth if your not happy with your life she an't going to fix it. You need to fix whats wrong with your life on your own.
I see it this way the people that think that the body has a soul and believe in god or anything after death. Will say that you should keep your virginity. But I haven't herd anybody say the opposite opinion. I don't suggest you do this but the Oposing argument would sound something like this...
" Your body's got needs and sometimes you need to fill thous needs. When your hungry you fill your bell with found and it's just as easy to fill the lust that boils in your blood. The moralist will tell you to 'what for the right one' and 'don't do anything you might regret' but it's a bunch a bull shit. They think that gods going to damn your soul our some bull shit that men of power told them along time ago to keep them in line. But in the real world good, evil it's all a bunch of bull shit, at the end of the day there are winners and there are losers. Winners get what they want. losers pra that theres some super real being out there that will help them get what they won't. If you plan to be a winner then you got to get what you won't by any possible means. The best why I think is rape because that way you don't need to worry to much about her having some unforgivable disease unlike some whore; Get a nice one. virgins always good, nobody touched them yet. Find I nice place were nobody can find you, and were nobody can hear her scream. Then do it. You'll feel better after. Just like going to the fridge."
Personally I wouldn't do it, but sometime's it sounds better then the crap you got to put up with doing it the "right way".
All in all there our your two options, wait for the perfect girl , or go out and rape one. Both are ridicule's because nether one will happen. In the end guys like you and me a screwed (or lake there of) because were kinda like rejects. Nobody won't us and nobody care. Were not religious so we don't care about waiting. But were not bruits so will never go out and become rapist.
Anyways I'm rambling and I can't even remember what the hell my thesis was so good night.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): 23 here. It sucks to a be a V when your pals and such aren't clean. All my friend are younger and 90% are or have been active. And I have wanted to lose it, sure. Though I'm shy so it helps to limit myself to a relationship or so. Just think of it as.. if you were to lose it.. you could end up with a kid. Your parents may like a grand-child in the future but they won't be in a rush and can you support a kid or 2? Just tolerate to BS that others may give and time will come (so I think so).
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Well i'm 18 and i was reading such comments arround the net. And all i found was that it is important to keep your virginity until you meet the right girl, when i say the right girl i'm not refering to just a girl with a sexy back , i'm talkin about the girl that you really love, and actually marry her and live the rest of your life with her. That girl might be a virgn too..wich makes your love life REAL. Don't be too proud or too ashamed of being a virgin. What i mean is that don't stay a virgin until you are 40..I decided i'll stay virgin..
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reader, lisa21 +, writes (4 October 2007):
you are not a weirdo, its so nice to hear that some men want to wait and not follow others, i know a man who was 19 when he lost his virginity and after wished he'd waited longer, he lost it as he was pressurised at university.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): I'm 28, still a virgin . I've been tempted a lot to lose it over the years (& still do), but I have a lot of friends with much sexual experience and tell me to value my virginity. Religious reasons aside, one of the main things is the emotional attachment to your first. No matter what, you will almost aways remember your first; probably a contributing factor to why divorce rates are high. I can tell you that peer pressure will decrease as your friends mature in their early 20's; however, depending on various factors, your personal desire for sexual experience may increase.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto be honest it's not as if i have a choice. can't get a girlfriend anyway and i'm not flirty enough to have a one night stand
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): Well to be honest I don't think your weird at all. To be a 20 year old virgin is something to be proud of not ashamed. You aren't "quite old" but you are a bit older than most which is a good thing.I believe that the average age is around 16 or 17. I really respect the fact that you have waited so long and that you're waiting for the right person to give something as importent as virginity to. I hope you don't get pressured into it, sence you told your friend that you are a virgin. Best of luck and I hope you find that special someone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): oh and i believe that the average age is about 17 for guys and sligthly lower for women
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reader, agonyauntlisaxxxx +, writes (27 August 2007):
 There's no average age to lose your virginity you lose it when you chose to lose it to to someone special. Someone special you love and that loves you. Never lose it to someone meaningless, you will regrett that one day. I lost my virginity to my first love and I regrett it partly because of the way he treated me. But I've learnt I can't regrett cos I did love him. You will lose it when it's right. xx
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reader, duce00  +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Ahh yes the peer pressure to be a sexually active guy. Sure your friends may be active and sure the TV is telling you to go out and be a stone cold player, even society at large makes it seem like you should be getting down all day long in your early 20's. If you stay true to your self you can avoid these silly stereo types. Dont let this crap get to you because its just that CRAP!
I was 18 the first time I had sex and frankly I wished Id waited longer. At that point it was really meaningless and I was definately clumsy. I was 25 before I had any sex that was worth talking about. Now Im in my 30's and Ive learned alot. The truth is that you want to become a good lover not just have alot of sex. That only comes from being in a healthy commited relationship. Id wait untill you find a good woman, trust me you absolutely will have great sex and no regrets! This I can actuly guarantee!
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reader, skyebabe +, writes (23 August 2007):
 NO YOU DECIDE WHEN TO HAVE SEX NOT NO ONE ELSE YOU DO IT WHEN YOUR READY IF YOU NOT READY YET THEN FINE BUT SOMETIMES OYU WANNA FIND THE RIGHT PERSON OR YOU MAY BELIVE IN NO SEX TILL MARRIGE IF U WANNA TALK EMAIL ME XX
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reader, love-him +, writes (22 August 2007):
 hey babe dont worry AT ALL!! my bf was a virgin before he met me ( the he fell in love with me which is why he gave it away 2 me ) and i was 16 and he was 20.. honestly dont listen to them.. there isnt an average age.. its when you feel right and when you find the right person.. I hope i helped bbe, mail me if u wanna talk x x x x
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reader, sexi  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 Hi,dont worry about these people.They are ignorant. There is no right age or a specified age to have sex. The right time is when you are ready an are in a stable relationship with someone you love.
Take your time,there is no hurry.
Regards
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female
reader, gcockerham +, writes (22 August 2007):
Dont worry about it. Everyone is differnt. My bf was 20 when he lost his to me this year! It should be with the right person when you feel ready.Personally i applaud you for waiting this long. My bf thought he was weird for not having done it by 20 years old but i think it is really admirable. He waited until the right time with the right person (which just so happened to be me! Lol):-)
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reader, Zim +, writes (22 August 2007):
 Whoa, seriously they called you a weirdo? I think they are the ones who have a problem here not you. Virginity is a special thing. Regardless of religion or race, you have sex when you feel most comfortable.
Im 20 myself, and although I have the reason of being a Christian for my virginity the reasons for me are probably just the same as yours. I'm guessing that you want to save your virginity for someone truly special, someone you'll meet in the future or indeed marry. And you know what, that is amazing. Saving yourself for that special person will make the world of difference to your future spouse and other people will respect you for it too.
In answer to your question, you are not too old. If people come up to me asking whether i've ever had sex, I proudly and straight out tell them that no, I am a virgin and proud of it. I have had a few of these experiences, and i've found that the more confident you are when you say it, the more likely they will leave you alone. In fact, if you are confident and happy about it, it builds up much respect for you and women will look at you in a different way (A VERY good way, trust me). Much of the original question asking stems from the fact that men want to feel part of a crowd and if a minority diverts from their "norm", then that person is classified as a "weirdo". However, this is nothing you should take to heart. That guy's comment was a typical defense in his position. I've seen it before and his comment would also have the dual purpose of pressuring you into thinking that you are too old for sex (which is the reason you have written to us). Being a virgin, is again slowly becoming a proud badge of honour in today's society. Wear it proudly.
Most of all, remember, it is your body. You do what you like with it and when you feel comfortable doing it. I don't know what your views are on sex, but don't bow down to peer pressure. Do everything at your own pace and with lots of thought as to what YOU really want not what others think.
I hope that advice helped you. I wish you all the luck in the future.
ZIM
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reader, ejn!  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 hey:)I seriously dont think it matters, youll loose your virginity when you want to / when your ready.I know many people who are your age who havent yet had sex.Just ignore people who think its weird, honestly. theres no point getting worried over it.have a good night, bye ox
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): Um. Yeah I guess most kids lose their virginity in their teens. 15-17 I'd say is an average age. But certainly there is nothing wrong with you still being a virgin. Most kids have done certain things in their teens that I never did until my 20's. (Drugs and stuff and I don't feel weird about it.)My ex bf was a virgin until he was 22. Everybody knew. No one thought it was weird. I mean he didn't lose any friends over it. And he certainly wasn't embarrassed about it. Jeez, right after he lost his virginity to me, he like yelled it out at a music festival cause he was so excited.
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