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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello everyone, My partner and I have been together for three years now and he has still not had sex with me. I am a virgin and he has had a lot of past experiences. However, a year ago I felt ready to have sex so I let him know only for him not to do anything. He made no moves to have sex and nothing changed. So I asked him over the next six months to at least use a finger or do SOMETHING that would allow us to move forward sexually. Still nothing happened. He said he was trying only I was not being receptve enough, that I would never really let him near me- which is completely untrue. I started to feel rejected and my self esteem was really being affected by the fact that he wouldn't even at my request have sex with me. Last night, after countless arguments and discussions I told him that I was no longer available for sex, that I no longer wanted to make myself so vulnerable and just WAIT for him to decide to do something about it. He said that he did not like this idea but he would respect it. I think he gave in too easy... what do you guys think? And guys, PLEASE tell me what is going on with this man!!!He is not gay, has no diseases, (been checked) and used to be sexually active (and has a grown son!) So PLEASE! what the hell is stopping him from having sex with me?
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male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (30 March 2010):
Hey, just a suggestion but maybe you would be happier with someone else? It sounds like you have some big problems in the relationship and someone at your age especially shouldn't need to be be dealing with such drama! Good to hear you are in therapy for whatever you are finding difficult, but ideally you want to be with someone who is supportive and will attend therapy as well, if they are needed to be. Good luck for the future I hope everything works out for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, thanks for replies.
Yes there is a bit of an age gap- I am 24 he is 39. We have talked this situation to death. He keeps telling me to let me near him which I do, but he doesn't do anything.
I see a therapist for this issue but he will not come with me.
Thank you again. I am sure you will be hearing from me again.
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 He has a warning bell going off in his head. I don't know why, but that's how he's behaving. You'll only find out by talking about it.
There is something very odd going on that you've been together for three years, that you said a year ago you were ready, and he's done nothing. He has a grown son, so he's got to be at least 40. Is the age difference bothering him?
I agree, counselling is called for here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): You haven't told us how old he is... But in general I agree with the other poster who said you need professional help.
It sure does sound odd to me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): I think you sound quite high maintenance, but more importantly, you guys should go and see a therapist. Check out the "Relate" website in the UK, where you can find a local sex and relationship therapist. Your problems seem way too much for someone on here to attempt to resolve. Good luck!
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