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What if I've ruined my life?

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Question - (6 June 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 7 June 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I can accept an honest answer, but it takes a lot of courage to write this question because I realize how painful an answer I don't want to hear could be and how painful the truth could be.

I am a teacher and I absolutely love it, but there are times when I feel that I had another calling and I missed it. I absolutely don't regret becoming a teacher but I did it so that I could travel the world. I teach English as a Foreign Language. When I was a college student I studied abroad and realized that I needed to see the world and have adventures. when I graduated I became depressed because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and because I wasn't ready to close the book on traveling the world. I discovered TEFL and it was absolutely the answer to my prayers. I'm teaching in another country right now and it's extremely rewarding.

However I am not sure if I wanna do it forever. Whenever people suggest I teach ESL or something else in the USA (I'm from there)... my heart sinks... and I realize that one reason I chose tefl was so I could travel. I know it's selfish but I can't help it. Teaching is really rewarding but I don't want to do it unless I can live abroad.

There are other careers I think I would have loved more, but I would probably have had to do them in USA and wouldn't have been able to go abroad. I am just worried that it's too late in life for me to ever do anything else! Even though I love what I do now, it bothers me to think that door might be closed.

This sounds absolutely delusional and ridiculous but I wish I had become a musician. I play lead guitar in a blues band and I have realized that I love music more than anything else in the world.

I also love animals with my whole heart and as a kid planned on going to vet school. I would have had to do that in my own country but I have been thinking that may have been my calling. I'm 32 years old and graduated from college years ago and my grades are probably far from acceptable regarding getting into grad school... and it's haunting me like a ghost.

I don't regret choosing TEFL, like I said, I just don't wanna do it forever. What if I've ruined my life?

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (7 June 2011):

Basschick agony auntAhh, the path not chosen. I think we all wrestle with this from time to time. I sort of just fell into my profession, I didn't choose it - it chose me. Therefore I have always wondered why I didn't have more "vision" for my career choices. But in reality, it probably was my calling. Just remember you can change careers anytime you want - you just have to want it badly enough. Try making a pro-con list to determine what you really want. You can always do music on the side even if it's not your main income - that's what I do. There are probably lots of local bands in your area that you could play music with and having a side hobby might tie everything together for you. Good luck!

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A female reader, cupidus Canada +, writes (7 June 2011):

cupidus agony auntThe cruise ship sounds good, but the long hours with little on shore leave is minute. Read up on that.

You can always learn an instrument, you could become a VET also. Keep traveling and teaching English and pick up some courses on the side. Eventually you'll have more credentials and education and it can lead to other venues.

My friend has been teaching English in Asia for 12 years now.

Now is teaching full time music in Thailand and loves it.

It takes time, but all those little ventures add up to lead you to what you want.

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2011):

fi_the_tree agony auntYour life is what you make of it...end of!!

If you want to go and be a musician, then go and be a musician, you have teaching experience, could you not teach music on some level???

Every girl at some stage turns around and says they want to be a vet, i remember saying it but it never happened!! This doesn't mean i ruined my life by not following every single dream i ever had!!!

Why not just go travelling for a while? Take a year out and see the world (i know you have been abroad before) but just not have any worries, go wherever and whenever you want, then sit down and have a good think about what you want for the rest of your life. If you choose to be a free spirit, then good on you.

Remember, your life will be whatever you make it, so make it a good one. Stop worrying about what could have been, and look forward to what could be!!

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A female reader, dummyduckling United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2011):

dummyduckling agony auntit is never too late to follow your dreams, if you have a goal or a target in mind i say go for it. its your life and its about time you lived it your way. there are plenty of jobs out there that involve travel. if you want to carry on what your doing have you thought about cruise ship work? im looking in to it my self at the moment as i work with children and wish to see the world. follow your dreams and dont let anyone tell you that your too old or that its too late. its only ever too late when we pass away. i know people who are well in to their 70's still persuing their dreams. dont give up :) i really hope this helped.

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A female reader, dummyduckling United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2011):

dummyduckling agony aunthave you considered looking in to cruise ship work? im looking in to it myself as i am a nursery nurse teaching children aged 3months to 5 years. this job sounds perfect for you, you could teach ESL in childrens clubs and still see the world. its not selfish at all. im in the same position. i love working with children and i want to see the world. and being on a ship gives me both oppertunities at once. have a look it might be the answer your looking for. i really hope this helps you. xx

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