A
male
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:Right so there's this girl where I work and basically I fancy the pants off her and have done for quite a while and I have been told by others that it looks like she fancies me too.I have really low self esteem and really want to ask her out but whenever I get the chance I can't find the courage to do it.If anyone has any suggestions at all I would be so greatfulthanks
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male
reader, jorge88  +, writes (22 November 2007):
if any one can help you my friend, its me. first of all, you can't be afraid. tehre are only to outcomes that you can get when you ask her out. positive or negative. and as you know, not everything in this world has positive outcomes. and we learn from the negative outcomes. so when you ask her out, be ready for either one. and if you don't get what you were hopeing for, its not the end of the worl. this will be the first step in increasing your self steam. the next time you are gooan be more confident and so on. but just go ask her now because sometimes it might be too late and then you find out that she was waiting for you to make the first move. its our job to make the first move remember that. good luck....
A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (22 November 2007):
 Do you really have low self-esteem or are you just shy? People with low self-esteem, are severe inner critics and they put little value/worth on their opinions, ideas and constantly think that they aren't good enough. They are the people who never even 'think' to ask someone out because they would feel they don't stand a chance in hell.
She'sgiving you signs she likes you and you did say "you really want to ask her out but whenever you get the chance you can't find the courage to do it" I think this is just 'shyness'. You still may have a balanced, accurate view of yourself and a generally good opinion of yourself--you might be just recognizing that you do have some limits. This is actually a very healthy self-esteem. And that is 'shyness' with females. That's normal and a ton of adolecsent guys out there can and will relate, to this.. But how does the shy guy get a date? Self-love and a belief in himself. And knowing that is 'she' rejects him, he'll carry on to the next girl and the next until he hits the jackpot. It takes courage and and a realization/acceptance that 'rejection' is all part of the dating world. Plain and simple. It just means you have to work on this ONE area where you feel limited. So how do you overcome shyness. By taking a new attitude and realizing that if you don't approach her, you will never know if you did or didn't have that chance. Get with it, guy, take the risk and ask her out. Good luck!~
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (22 November 2007):
 Rather than ask her out directly, which puts pressure on you both, can you pick out a particular interest of hers that you share? If so, find an event that caters to such an interest, plan to go, and invite her along to go with you. This way, you are not asking her out, but are planning to go someplace, and just inviting her to come along. It means you will go with or without her. This is alot easier, and allows you to find out for sure if she is interested without risking anything since you work together.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, miminoisette +, writes (22 November 2007):
 There's no cure for it, my lad. You'll have to buck up and ask her out, even if you've got a hundred butterflies in your stomach. It gets easier with time, trust me, so if she says no, at least you can say you've taken that chance.
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