A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:An older man I was very fond of (and who also liked me very much)suggested I should find myself a boyfriend my age. Does this mean he doesn't like me anymore or just that he cannot handle me? How do I put him behind me if he appears in my mind every day at least once? Am I acting like this just because I cannot be with him? Am I a low person for thinking that someday in a few years, when I am married, I can have an escape to him to have sex with him just once? (we have been talking about it but in the end nothing happened because I could not see how one of us could turn his whole life around just to be with the other - and I don't mean just for sex)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 it means he does not want a relationship with you on a romantic level
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (19 August 2011):
I think what he meant is that to him, the age gap is too big. He simply doesn't feel comfortable dating/having sex/relationship with a women as young as you are.
"Am I a low person for thinking that someday in a few years, when I am married, I can have an escape to him to have sex with him just once?"
Yes you are. When you're married, you pledge love and loyalty to your husband and him only. For you to run off to have sex with this older guy, even if it's just once, would mean breaking that vow and everything marriage stands for. The fact you're thinking about it shows me that:
1. You're not ready for marriage
2. You haven't found the right person to marry yet.
If you want sex with this older man so badly, go get it--if he wants it too of course. But if he's brushing you off because he's simply not comfortable bedding a young woman like you, accept this and move on.
"in the end nothing happened because I could not see how one of us could turn his whole life around just to be with the other - and I don't mean just for sex."
This is vague to me. Is this older man in married/in a relationship? Because if he is, he's off limits and you should know better than to pursue him.
Sorry for being harsh but if it stops you from becoming a mistress/cheater so be it.
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