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What does it mean when a woman rubs herself during sex?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 December 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2015)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

This is weird. Anyway i just want to understand what it really means when your (a man) having sex with a woman and she rubs on her clit, does that mean u are not pleasuring her the right way so she has to do it herself, to reach organism.. ? No i never wanted to ask the women, as it would be awkward. Any female explanations?, thanks.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (21 December 2015):

BrownWolf agony aunt

The question is...Why are you not rubbing her during sex???

Think my man...If a woman clitoris gives her lots of pleasure, and you being inside her gives her lots of pleasure, and you are doing both at the same time...HELLOOOOO!!!!

This is what makes women so much fun...You put in the work, and she will rock your world.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 December 2015):

Honeypie agony auntShe wants to enjoy sex too?

It might be that you are not (yet) that skilled at pleasing your partner. Women needs more than a penis inserted. For some that doesn't even do much at all. However, WOMEN can enjoy sex without an orgasm - for many the intimacy means a lot and feels good too. BUT if... you would LIKE to make her orgasm, maybe watch her and copy what she is doing. (that means YOU pay attention and try to rub her the same way.

And I agree with the first "nonny" male - if you can't TALK about sex with whomever you are HAVING sex with... you aren't mature enough for sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2015):

I rub my clit during sex and sometimes making out sessions because it feels good to me! I do get pleasure out of penis-vagina sex, but most of the time (to me) it feels like (at worst) friction, and at best, slightly pleasant. Honestly, I have more nerve-endings firing on my neck and shoulder blades when someone kisses me there than I do inside my vagina when there's a penis or finger (or three) in there. It's not because the man's technique is bad. I've tried several angles and positions and it's still the same. Penis-vagina sex is a nice, sweet, tingly thing but it really doesn't do it for me. Now, when I play with my clit? That really sends some ripples through me as it does many other women. For most women, they get more pleasure through their clit than any other area. It's like asking if you want to have your penis licked or your balls licked. (at least I would imagine so) You'd probably want your penis licked, right?

If I were you, I'd just take it as a compliment that she's doing that because (for me) it ADDS to the pleasant feeling inside my vagina. I'd rather the man just concentrate on gently stroking my breasts if the position allows or telling me I'm beautiful or looking me in the eyes. I'm not saying you should do all that, because many men are put off by it that I say things during sex.

It's best to talk to her. You can say something like, "Hey, you want some help with that?" during sex. It looks funny in print, but there's some sexy ways to say that. She can say yes or no. If she thinks you're doing it "wrong" she can guide you or you can say, "Show me how to do that."

In a nutshell: it doesn't mean you're not doing a good job

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (18 December 2015):

aunt honesty agony auntA lot of women cannot orgasm through intercourse alone, they also need the clitoris stimulated, therefore when they do this it is not because you are not doing a good job it is just enhancing there orgasm. Maybe you could try it yourself the next time you are with a woman and see her response.

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A female reader, BloggerChick United Kingdom +, writes (18 December 2015):

BloggerChick agony auntIt's not that you're not pleasuring her enough or anything like that. It's a known fact that some/most women simply cannot orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone and require other forms of stimulation such as clitoral simultaneously.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2015):

When I started sleeping with my boyfriend he got my hand and asked me to do that because it turns him on. So I gather a few men like it when women do that.

I'd never done it before but actually it just adds to the pleasure. Most women can't have an orgasm from sex, our clitoris needs stimulation, that's what foreplay is for.

Hey don't feel awkward about asking questions though, it's good to find out what makes her feel good. It wasn't because she wasn't enjoying herself it simply makes it even better.

Maybe she's been with other guys who took her hand and asked her to do that, like me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2015):

Not many women can climax via penetration, I happen to be dating one of them.

However, even she at times needs the clit to be stimulated as most women do.

Try doing that to her during the act yourself and see if that makes a difference. Otherwise... talk to her about it.

If you cannot talk to your partner about sex and the things you want done... then you are far too immature for a relationship.

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