Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Does anal sex hurt? - Yes, but if you are the kind to enjoy such a thing, then the pleasure usually outshadows the minor pain.
The thing is, not everyone likes anal play, and you really have to enjoy it for it to be pleasureful. Explore yourself before trying it with someone else: try inserting a finger or two, then "upgrade" to a dildo (safe for anal entry).
When you do eventually try it with a partner, be sure of 3 things :
1. Everything is clean - very clean.
2. Use lube, no exceptions.
3. Communicate. - Anal sex should be done very slowly, and you need to tell your partner if they are going too fast, when to proceed, etc.
Finally, my best advice to you (well, what works for me anyway) is LOTS of clitoral stimulation. When me and my bf do it, he inserts himself very slowly ... its usually alot to take at first, but because its so slow, i have time to adjust. Once he gets it all the way in, which can take some time, he can then go as fast as he likes ... its getting there that's the hardest part.
So try it yourself first, and if you like it, go for it!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Feels good from what I hear but two things cannot be stressed enough: LOTS OF LUBE...THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH (feel free to use almost the entire bottle); TAKE IT SLOW AND LET RECIPIENT ADJUST. When you are in foreplay, stick a lubed finger in and let adjust then 2 fingers and repeat until loose. Then when beginning penetration, slip in a little, an inch or a cm at a time, and wait for them to adjust before pressing forward 1 inch or 1cm more. This will make the experience enjoyable especially for a first timer. These are the most important but there are a few others:Make sure recipient has had a movement before you start or things could get messy.If the recipient is female (and you're lucky since I've yet to convince my girlfriend to try it yet) thoroughly wash your member or change condoms before engaging in vaginal sex otherwise you set her up for very nasty infections. It probably isn't a bad idea to wash thoroughly even in wearing a condom due to tearing.Another tip I find is enjoyable is to do it in hot water baths as this helps loosen up the area, but you still need lubricants. HERE'S ONE MORE TIP: IF THE RECIPIENT SAYS IT HURTS YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!!!! IT NEVER HURTS IF YOU DO IT RIGHT!!!!!! I'm not a recipient. These tips are from friends who regularly engage in it and research I've done on the subject, mostly from sex columns
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): I'm a gay male me and my boyfriend did it anal the other day and it felt great we used alot of lube it was painful at first but when i relaxed it startd to feel good going in and out of my hole.you might bleed a litte but thats okay.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Well the very first time I didn't feel much, because I used tons of lube. Untill he guy got very deep it did hurt. but while he was pushing in, I really wanted it. and now it just feels very good to have something up my ass :)so if you use a condom, loads and loads of lube, and if you're horny... and than use some more libe it shouldn't really hurt, but you will enjoy and long for more.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): I had it for the first time with lube. A little painful. I heard you have to relax as much as possible. I was drunk so that helped. Next day a little sore.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): use lots of lube and start off with a small penis and cause big hurts after 4 5 pushes u wanna do it all night long
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): my boyfriend likes me to do it for him. but am scared. he told me he'll get someone to do it to me while he watch or he'll get me drunk then he can do it.....i'll like to hear him told me he like someone to do me, while he watch....please send me your [email address blocked]
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): I fingered my ass today while i jacked off, i cummed hard and it felt great
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): thats an exit not an entrance
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): I am male and straight but i really need money and a guy is paying me to let him fuck me n stuff but i need to money and its alot of money. The guy is much older but i just gana get it over and done with.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): tried it with my boyfriend once but it was very painful. i had to make him pull out with him just getting the head inside. i guess the next time we try we'll use lube=]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): anal sex feels like when u had a large sausage roll and it comes staright back out again you know, a large poo with sweetcorn and nuts in it and it scratches the sides of your ass hole. it hurts like a very large poo.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): I really love it! it takes a while to get 'good' at but gets easier after a few times.
Always use lots of lube (anal lube is best) and wash first.
Don't start with a big cock but try a finger or some toys first. If you find your a bit leaky afterwards just use a panty liner for a few hours!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Me and my boyfriend recently did anal sex, the important thing to remember is to relax and lube, just remember that you might bleed a little but that is ok and yeah its sore at first once the head passes its awesome.
If you have a hard time with relaxing than try drinking some alcohol, that might help or have him use anal beads those are easy and fun they even vibrate!
If this helps, thats great.
If not im sorry, maybe your better sticking to using the front door and oral
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): my first time was amazing. me and my boyfriend are so close and had planned it.
i bent over my pool table and tried to relax, we didnt use lube and it hurt going in.
then i had to get him to pull out, and we tried again with lube.
it was mind blowing and great, and felt like a really deep massage, i would advise anyone in a tight relationship to go for it!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): really really sore
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): the first time i had anal i was at my boy freinds house....AND YES IT HURT ( for the 1st time it felt lke a broomstick up my ass hole) my bf first put his finger in my asshole then he finally put the head in we used lots of lube ( baby oil really helps) after the first 4 or 5 pushes it feels great!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): It can be really great if done well. And it can hurt like hell if done poorly.You have to be really relaxed, and it shouldn't be the only thing going on (he should play with your clit, too). Start REALLY slowly -- maybe just some pressure on the outside -- with lots of lube. Start with a finger and slowly move up in size. And more lube. As long as you're going slowly and there's lots of care on both sides it can be mind-blowing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): I just TRYED to have anal today and it hurt so bad and he didnt even get the head in all the way. So i asked him to stop then later we tryed it again because i thought it might not hurt as bad he was hesitent because he didnt want to hurt me.. but we did! It hurt just as bad but I tryed to deal with the pain (we did this cuz we were cerious how it felt) anyways after he got the head in he moved it in and out about 2times and then i said no i cant handel it! So we stopped. YES WE USED ALOT OF LUBE!!! it still hurt. I am not so sure i would reccomend anal.I am still sore. I geuss we will just have to wait until we are married and then have sex but for now we will stick with foreplay
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female
reader, Horsegirl  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Oh no andrea23!! That's terrible. He threw the girl out???? That is really truly an awful thing to have done. And he blamed the dog???? Poor dog!!!!!!!!! And the dog got put down?? Really? Gosh. :( :( Poor dog!!!!!
Anyway I think it's quite nice actually. But really what it's like to me or anyone isn't nessiceraly what it'll be like for you. Tried using your finger first and see what you think.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): I am a male reader: from a gay male perspective-
I think Yos gets it spot on when he said it feels great if you do it right, and downright terrible if you do it wrong. Here's my take on it-
The other day I tried self anal with a smallest diameter soft rubber dildo while self masturbating. It felt surprisingly good. To work I think you have to have a really stong erection going before attempting to inserting anything round back. Pressing the dildo on the anus felt pleasant and gently increasing the pressing pressure made my erection feel like it was been increased. Then slight unconfortable and same time pleasant feeling as the dildo pushed through the opening into the anus. All this done while working my erection with my other hand. Once the dildo was about half way into-it was only about a finger size dildo length and width wise- I continued masturbating my penis-a really strong hard on. I think the finger dildo was touching my prostrate and this seemed to make my erection want to get and stay harder. So my recomendation if you are a male taker-use plenty of lube, do it slowly, have a really good hard on before putting anything in, -don't force it in unduely-if it hurts excessively it's not entering at the correct angle, or you aren't relaxed enough.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007): it feels really uncomfortable for the first minute or so. But i know this sounds confusing, but its uncomfortable in a good way after that. Its like this my boyfriend has a pretty big you know. But i love having his penis up there its like taboo and thats what makes it enjoyable. I love anal fullness and having his %#%$ going in and out, i even have orgasms. I reckon you should try it BUT with LOTS of LUBE.
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male
reader, Yos  + ♥, writes (18 October 2006):
 Oh no andrea23!! That's terrible. He threw the girl out???? That is really truly an awful thing to have done. She must have felt like dirt. I have to say his behaviour there was truly apalling. I'm shocked! I'm upset actually, for her. Poor poor girl. She'll feel bad about that for the rest of her life probably.
To answer the original question: it can feel great if you do it right, and downright terrible if you do it wrong. Theres lots of sites out there on the web that give very detailed information on how to do it right if you want to.
One thing to bear in mind: I think a lot of people get the idea from seeing it in porn. Just remember that what you see in porn is not at all like reality, if you use porn as your main place to get information about it you'll end up having a bad time.
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female
reader, xsarahx +, writes (18 October 2006):
well iv jst recentley done it with my boyfreind at first he didnt use lubricant cuz at the tym we didnt think n it was really hard to get it up there it was so painful when it was i made him take it out, but then i tried again with lubricant and i found it was alot easier it wasent as painful but its the pain after. so its kinda put me off doing it agen lol
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female
reader, andrea23 +, writes (14 October 2006):
 i never tried it and don't intend to as one of my male friends told me while his mum and dad were on holiday he brought a girl back to the house where they ended up doing it on his ma's new sofa, well they decided to do a bit of anal but after a while this girls anal muscles all loosened so you can imagine what happened the shit was all over the ma's new sofa, so my m8 ended up throwing this girl out, well anyway here his ma got home from holiday and seen the faded brown stains on her new cream sofa and asked my m8 what the hell had happened and my m8 ended up telling her that the dog had shit on the sofa so his ma went and got the dog put down so the ole dog got the blame. so after hearing that i vowed never to have anal sex because i would be cut to the core if that happened to me
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female
reader, katzkitten  +, writes (14 October 2006):
 one word PAINFUL!!! honestly ive done it a few times and it really hurts. it worked better for me when i was on all 4s and he was knelt behind me, we were more or less at the same height then. when i tried it jus bent ova it was too low for him. also u will need lots ov lubricant to get it up in the 1st place! however it did make the person i did it with cum faster and he enjoyed it alot, and i supoze it does feel nice once you get over the pain. but some more advice dont tell any one you know what youve done because chances are you'll both get ripped to peices. keep it between you and him and i supoze your best friends if you must tell someone. For a better experience get him to finger you as he does you up your arse. it feels so much nicer. u get pleasure from both sides :p
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (13 October 2006):
 R O F L M A O!!!!!!!
yep...pretty much what she said........
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2006): It feels something like.
There's a poo coming.... oh hang on that's quite nice, no wait there is the poo coming again... maybe that feel's nice... poo again... slow down, that is a bit sore, poo again...
Didn' really work for me. Touching the bottom with finger is wonderfull though!
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female
reader, helpful girl +, writes (11 October 2006):
 never had it but should imagine it hurts! from my point of veiw anual is a 1 way traffic your digestive traffic, i would allow it to be done to me ever!
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (10 October 2006):
Well this is truly where size matters....smaller men win on this count. Big guys have a hard time finding anyone willing because the bigger they are the more the stretch and the more it hurts. You will find it more pleasurable if you use a vibrator also, sort of revs you up and you don't feel the pain as much, but for a girl the sensation is very similar to a bowel movement...a very sizable one. And it must be done with lubrication and very gently. Now once you get over the shock and ouch...it can add a pleasurable quality to your sex life. Some people go wild for it...personally it is an occasional thing at best. And if you are intent on doing this...you should consider and enema before...nothing like having fudge come tumbling out too. Talk about messy. For guys I guess it is like a very tight vagina...with an Oder factor.
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male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (10 October 2006):
 Feels like you need a poop, so everyone says. I wouldn't know, because GOD intended it to be a one-way-street and that's the way I intend to keep it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): It hurts but you get used to it but don’t forget it stretches your muscles round your bum so it could lead to an embarrassing situation
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