A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, in recent months I have become close to a male friend of whom I knew in grade in junior high in 2002. He added me on FB which was a surprise, as I rejected him in junior high when he showed interest in me. He ended up moving to another state and we lost touch. As mentioned, in recent months we've been chatting via messenger almost daily, and daily in the past 6 weeks (even if it's just a simple check in). We've met up a few times for coffee (he's back in my hometown), and we get along like a house on fire. There's always hugging, kissing on the cheek when greeting and some sort of closeness. He even insists on paying. When parting ways one time, I told him about something that was bothering me (not related to him) and his mood changed immediately from playful to somber. He pulled me close and kissed me on the head in a comforting way. He's single and as such is searching for a girlfriend online, but thus far has only been able to find fault with any potential suitors. The other morning I was joking with him and told him that it's going to be a game changer when he finds himself a girlfriend because they will not appreciate him contacting other females daily. He joked back and texted "yeah... my other girlfriend" with a "lol" afterwards. I texted back that they may tell him to cut the friendship, and he bluntly said he'd never let that happen and he'd prefer to end any relationship if it came to that.I'm just wondering what this all means?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 July 2017):
 All I can say is ask him
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2017): I see there might be the chance you're still in a relationship with someone else?The best I can tell you is to always be straightforward. I learned this the hard way long ago when I was interested in a guy and I was so shy that I was too afraid to be straightforward to find out if he was interested back that I joked about him being with other girls to see his reaction. We never got together even though we hung out all the time, then we just stopped. Years later I found out he liked me but was confused by my inconsistent actions and words (I acted interested but said things that seemed otherwise).I look back and see that I learned I shouldn't have played gamed, that's what that basically was. So be straightforward in your situation (either be free from another relationship or let go of this new guy) and be straightforward about your interest. That way you'll have no regrets on your end. P.S. either way don't have regrets. A second thing I learned is there is no ONE guy. If it doesn't work out, it's ok, things happen for a reason and you'll meet someone else. So don't sweat it or ever live in the past, looking backward.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (9 July 2017):
 My initial reaction while reading was that he wants a relationship with you but is cautious after being rejected by you previously.
Then I saw that you are probably still in a relationship with someone else (is that what you were seeking "comfort" about"?)
Rather than trying to help with YOUR question (where you have chosen to omit significant information) I need to ask YOU:
1. ARE you still in another relationship?
2. If so, does your b/f know about your contact with this guy?
3. What is YOUR agenda with this guy?
4. Are you planning to finish with your b/f once you feel sure this guy will step into his shoes?
We can all give you opinions but our opinions are only based on what we read in your post. If you are being selective on what you put in your post then the feedback you get will be skewed because it is based on the selective information you have chosen to provide.
Are you just wanting replies along the lines of: "this guy is your Prince Charming and loves you and wants to ride off into the sunset with you on his white charger"?
You need to stop playing games with people's lives, decide what you want and go out and get it. Life doesn't come with guarantees but fortune does favour the brave.
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A
female
reader, This_is_not_a_dress_rehearsal  +, writes (9 July 2017):
 Are you single? Ask him out!
Are you in a relationship with someone? Have you told your SO about your online chats and coffee meet ups? No? Why not?
If you're trying to hedge your bets and only cut free from current bf before chasing the shiny new potential bf? That's cheating and you know it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2017): Jokingly ask him to clarify the remark. Just say it stuck in your head, and you just wondered exactly what it means. No one can tell you better than he can.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2017): You posted before regarding this .. aren't you in a relationship .. and you were telling him how it wasn't working . I haven't a clue whether he likes likes you .. but really your kinda cheating as your not free to pursue this any . So I would say either make or break with your bf and then see if that's what you want .
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