A
female
age
36-40,
*Bubbles
writes:I have been feeling unconfident. I would like to know what you do when you are feeling down about yourself? I try looking at myself in the mirror; I feel good for a second then the insecurities comes back. I want to start feeling confident but don't know where to start. Sometimes I feel like I am ugly and I instantly imagine being a beauty queen or a celebrity. Have you have ever had this kind of imagination ? I know this all sounds weird but this is how I have been feeling. I feel like I can't talk to anyone. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): When I get that way I go have some "me time" too. I imagine my girlfriend and or other beautiful woman and I release my frustrations.
Or I go for a walk to clear my head, or I look for ways to remove those insecurities. Work out, meet up with friends, take my girl out to dinner. Do something fun or change what you don't like about yourself. One or the other really, there are lots and lots of ways to feel good about yourself.
Stop looking in the mirror so much. You only need to look in it when washing your face, brushing your teeth, grooming or applying make up. My girlfriend used to do that all the time too, we had a mirror in our hallway and anytime she passed it she wanted to see if her face and hair was the same as the last time she passed it five minutes ago. So I got rid of it and put a nice portrait of the two of us instead, I mean if she wants to see her face every five minutes then she can look at that.
You see she doesn't like the tone of her skin all that much, so whenever she looks in the mirror it's constant reminder to her of something she doesn't really like. So her checking herself all the time was forcing her to see that all the time. Her skin made her feel ugly sometimes because she thinks her skin is ugly. looking at it so often wasn't going to change it so it's better to just stop looking at it all the time. Why remind yourself constantly of something you don't like about yourself? It makes no sense.
Seriously OP there are better ways to spend your time than feeling ugly, you're not ugly and if you think you are then stop looking at yourself so much and obsessing about it so much, let other peoples reactions to your face be the thing you see the most.
Now when my girl walks through the hallway she sees a beautiful professional shot of the two of us together, a much more beautiful image to see don't you think?
Frame some really nice pictures of you and your friends, ones that you think you look great in and surround yourself with them instead, instead of looking at your morning face for half an hour surround yourself with reminders of how pretty you are and how great your friendships are.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): I have my hair cut and coloured. That always works.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Loads of girls feel the way you feel! You should try some martial art, like karate... that is a great activity to build self esteem!
Cheers...
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Nothing wrong with a little make-pretend to feel better about yourself. No different from playing a video game where you're the hero.
I get busy with my hands. I'll cook something, write something, build a bookshelf, offer to help the old lady in the next building with her chores (she has back problems, and makes delicious snickerdoodles), anything that requires attention to detail or, sometimes, physical effort. Or, I'll call up a friend to get some food and a drink. I don't even have to talk about what's bothering me, just enjoying the company is enough.
I don't know if all that is really a guy thing or not, but it's worth a shot.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Believe me, every girl looks at herself in the mirror and thinks that they could be better. If i ever have one of these days, here is what i do everytime without fail....
First of all, i run a bath with lots of bubbles, i go and have a soak, wash my hair (maybe even exfoliate and put on a face mask) then when i get out, i put some music on, do my make up, style my hair, put on something nice and paint my nails. Then when i look in the mirror again, i look at myself and see myself as pretty.
It seems alot of effort, but it really works for me, try it and see how it makes you feel. It could work for you too.
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