A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm a pretty peaceful guy. I'm going to school for biochemistry (which I love), and spend most of my life in the lab or library. I study hard, get good grades and generally enjoy prefer mental work as opposed to anything physical -- except for the gym.I've noticed that I've been having a lot more success with girls after lifting weights for ~18 months (6'1", ~195lb). Now when I'm out at a party or a bar, other guys always seem eager to try and get in a fight with me. I try extremely hard to avoid them. I recognize fights are completely barbaric. That said, I've had a few heated conversations with other guys.Anyway, one girl I went up to at a party looked really bored talking to another guy. In short, I stole her away...which the other guy did not like. We got into a heated conversation but eventually he backed down. Afterwards, she said she found that "so hot" which struck me as odd. She's a sweet-looking person who is doing physics (of all things) -- not the type of person you'd expect to be impressed by the prospect of a fight. So, Many women like fit guys for numerous reasons, but the idea of protection is clearly one of them...So, what do they (sorry to generalize) think about that fitness being put to use (i.e., in a fight)? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (11 July 2014):
 When you say you are having more success with girls, does that mean that you are asking them out on dates? Or does it mean that they look at you from afar?
Guys who think that getting into a fight to defend some girls 'honor' or retaliate for some perceived insult are in a different class for me. They think that big muscles or aggressive attitudes mean than they are more masculine somehow.
They're just meatheads if they wind up in fights all the time. It's ridiculous.
So a fit guy with a brain and the self control NOT to wind up in a fight is much more attractive than a fit guy who feels the need to posture and look for a fight.
A guy can have massive muscles but if he doesn't have the self-confidence to ask a woman out on a date then then he's missing out on an important part of life. Which is learning to risk rejection!
So did you ask the physics girl out on a date and if you did, how did it go?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 July 2014):
 I am past the age of being impressed by fighters, but I was not favourably impressed even when I was your age. I agree with "straight to the truth", the peacockry of someone strutting his stuff , and intentionally provoking confrontations and picking up fights over silly things, is a big turn OFF no matter how fit they are. And, cutting into somebody's conversation and having the presumption of " snatching " the girl from him ?... That's only RUDE , not gallant . If the girl was bored, she had the choice to either disentangle herself or to put up patiently, anyway that was her choce. I would have HATED for someone to assume he knows what's best for me and come to claim me as if I were a piece of abandoned luggage.
Of course it's nice to know that you are with a man who can protect you from harm, and I appreciate being protected too ( if that's even possibly today ! when people with bad ntentions also carry most of the time guns or knives ). But protected from actual HARM, not used as a pawn in a pissing contest between two insecure guys who have to prove they are cock of the walk to feel good about themselves.
Sorry OP, I realize I am being harsh to you and maybe unduly, you are just 18-21, so - whatever. Nobody has quite learned how to live yet, at your age.
But, you seem to me sort of a living proof , that you can get a body out of a nerd, but you cannot get the nerd out of a body. If you have to be so Mr. I -am- all -that when you go out, I suspect it's because your new, muscular body does not match the mental image that deep down you still have of yourself.
So why the girl seemed to dig it ?... Uhm, because she is the harebrained type ( harebrained emotionally and psychologically, intellectually she can be a whiz at Physics ) who feels being fought over by two men for the privilege of fucking her ( ... that's the undisclosed ultimate goal, even if it never happens ,- the biological imperative ) is a compliment ? Because she is so naive to think that this is about her , her charm and her beauty- and not about the contenders' ego ?...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (10 July 2014):
 You trigger the primal desire of a woman wanting to be competed for. It's like this in the whole animal kingdom. Realistically, fighting can get you into legal trouble. There is the attraction part and also the civil part we have to respect. You can use your strength to fight off thieves or wild animals. Consciously picking fights with strangers is unnecessary.
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (9 July 2014):
I wouldn't date a fighter, I hate people that fight and would rather a man who would walk away from a situation.
Don't get me wrong I want to know my man will defend me but not a man that will start a fight just because someone is talking to me if you get what I mean?
My husband well educated and is a lovely peaceful man and that is one of the things that I was drawn to. He doesn't do weights or fitness etc just has a healthy diet.
Some women love the whole Peacockery of men getting in to fights but I just think there is no need for it and innocent people get hurt.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 July 2014):
 I think the turn on is not the fact that you could but the fact that you would defend her honor sort of thing...
I want to suggest that your newfound success with women is NOT from the new body but RATHER the confidence that taking care of yourself and working out is giving you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2014): Kicking another guy's ass - Most girls don't get turned on by you actually doing it. But they can get pretty turned on by the fact that you could.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2014): I wouldn't date a fighter because it is barbaric for the most part - except if there is ACTUAL danger.
Stealing girls is silly and is ASKING for trouble - so, I suppose you like the "knight in shining armour" experience. If the girls were desperate enough, they'd make an excuse. You caused trouble for no reason; it's not like he was harassing her.
In short, some women like men who are willing to fight at the drop of a hat, but most find it lacks class and restraint.
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