A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all! I have a dilemma that I need help with. I am godmother to both of my friend's children and whilst she is a lovely, geunine person, her partner is the biggest waste of space ever... He has always taken advantage of me money wise by giving me sob stories how they can't afford things for the kids etc... and me being a mug have always lent them money. Well to cut the long story short I realised what a sponger he was and over the past 2-3 years and not given them any money and just stuck to buying birthday presents for my friend and the kids.Now my boyfriend is a very generous guy and every time we meet up with them my boyfriend pays... I'm sick of it as they take advantage. Now we are planning to meet up with them for a meal and I have told my bf he isn't to pay and we each pay for own food. The only thing that will be awkward is when the bill comes.. normally my bf takes it and pays... how do we just pay for ourselves without looking selfish? We don't want to at the beginning of the meal say we aren't paying as that would be too awkward. What do we say when the bill arrives???
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (9 April 2009):
 So? How did it go? What happened?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): Good advice from eyeswideopen. With the credit crunch too maybe you could suggest things are tight all round - watching the pennies etc. Have to be careful. If they suddenly cancel or go cold on the idea of a meal out I think you will have your answer.... they are not really your friends at all.
...............................
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (30 March 2009):
You either indicate to the waitress when you are placing your orders, "separate checks please" or when the bill arrives you look at it and say, "hmmmm. Looks like you guys owe $28 for your meals and we owe $32 for ours." It is pretty easy and you dont look cheap for doing it. They may be a bit suprized as they are used to being treated, but asking them to put in their fair share does not make you look cheap or greedy, only practical.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 March 2009):
 I'd just say that you guys need to agree on what restaurant you want to go to, and say something like "which one fits your budget? We can afford "name the place" this month but not "name the place". How about you guys?" That will plant the seed that they will be paying for their own meal.
...............................
A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (30 March 2009):
 Usually the waiter will ask "is this on the same or seperate bills?" jump in, not too quick and say "seperate" be careful not to look at them right away because then it might look like you're looking for a reaction out of them.. If either one of them say "same" then just say "oh how generous of you to pay" :) good luck
...............................
|
