New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244961 questions, 1084297 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

What do I do with a dog a friend has never picked up or looked after?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 November 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi all, I have found myself in a very difficult situation.

I quite like dogs but I'm by no means an experienced dog owner and certainly wouldn't have chosen one as a forever pet but in the summer (June) I heard that a friend-of-a-friend was going through an awful divorce and her soon-to-be ex was threatening to take the dog and put it to sleep. The owner was convinced that he would actually do this and felt that she needed to remove Dog to a place of safety immediately. She (the owner) was also looking for a place to live once she had left the marital home. I offered to rent her my spare room and she expected that she would be able to move in at the beginning of August. I also offered to look after the dog for the interim period so he would be safe. The owner reassured me that she would stop by to see Dog 2 or 3 times a week and provide walks/stimulation/vet care etc as I didn't feel able to manage alone. I wasn't working at the time due to ill-health and depression

Things went fine for the 6 weeks, although the owner only visited twice to drop off more food. Then she gradually stopped answering messages etc. By, the beginning of August I heard through the grape vine that she had indeed moved out of the marital home but she was choosing to sleep in her car or doss on friends' sofas. I texted her saying that if she wanted the room it was ready but if she chose not to rent it she would need to take Dog back (or make other arrangements) I appreciated the fact that it would take some time to organise but because I'll be going away after 1st December I would be unable to look after him anymore and I was not prepared to pay for borarding kennel fees. I also pointed out that the dog food was running out and she should bring some more round. And that he required some basic vetinary treatment (flea treatment, claw clipping etc)

I got a kind of "yeah - I've been busy reponse" and she explained that divorce procedings had got even messier and it would be the end of August before she could take the room.

Of course, the end of August came and went without food or any further contact from the owner. I sent her a text saying that if she did not communicate with me by October 15th I would take that to mean that she no longer wanted Dog as she was neither providing for him or making any effort to see him and then I would rehouse him as I saw fit.

This, of course, did elicit a response saying that she'd had a "nervous breakdown", she had been on "suicide watch" and was now having to live with her family in another City about 200miles away. She said she'd start looking for another place for Dog and if she didn't have any luck she'd contact some charities to see if they could take him. I urged her to contact the charities straight away as I'm aware that most of them have hefty waiting lists.

Anticipating that she would not do this I started asking at local rescue centres myself to get Dog on the waiting list but none of them wanted to know as soon as I explained that he was not my dog. The owner has not indicated to me that she has done anything to recitfy the situation herself.

I have texted her again today saying that after 15th November, I will consider Dog to be legally mine and that I will then treat him as necessary. However, after that date I only have 2 weeks to find him an alternative home which is no way near enough time as most shelter waiting lists are much longer than that. I will certainly put him on every waiting list I can bit if no place comes up then I'm very limited in what i can do. My other options seem to be limited to

1) Asking friends and family but I think I've exhausted that possibility. Because of Dog's behavioural issues with children and other animals he is not going to be easy to rehome quickly

2)Put him on a waiting list myself now by pretending he really is my Dog (difficult as he is microchipped and this still won't guarantee a place in 5-6 weeks)

3) Advertise him on internet websites on 1st August and not be too discerning about who takes him (and I shudder at that thought)

4) Dump him outside a blue cross or other rescue centre in the middle of the night and sneak off (highly irresponsible, cruel and frowned on by most dog charities and , because he is microchipped, I could be identified ultimatley as the perpertrator)

5) Put him to sleep. I talked to my vet this morning who feels that out of all the options, it's the most sensible.

Please don't get me wrong. I don't want to put the dog to sleep (neither does the vet). I feel dreadful but I can't really see what other option I have unless the owner makes arrangements herself and she doesn't seem to be making much effort. She seems to be ignoring it and is probably hoping that I will keep the dog but I really can't and only ever agreed to have him for 6 - 8 weeks anyway.

Thanks for reading

View related questions: divorce, moved out, period, text

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2013):

Put him on the charities yourself. Then send the owner an email and keep the copy so you have it in writing to cover yourself in case of anything, in which you state that you assume he is now your dog since she has repeatedly failed to respond so she has basically abandoned him.

Please do NOT under any circumstances just dump him somewhere. He will likely die a horrible death. Please don't put him on Internet sites or offer him as being for free - he will most likely get snapped up by people who run dog fighting rings and he will be used as a bait dog. He will have his muzzle and paws duct taped and used as bait. Or he will be taken by people to sell for a profit to research labs where he will have all kinds of horrors done on him.

Please do not euthanize him just because he has no home. Contact the charities, someone will take him. But first make it clear that you are now his owner so you have the right to do this. His previous owner has abandoned him. She might as well have dumped him like you were saying, so she has relinquished any rights to him but get that in writing.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2013):

I agree, I'd try to track her or one of her family members down and drop the dog off with them.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2013):

Get her address and drop the dog off.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 October 2013):

Honeypie agony auntIs the dog a pure bred? Or a mutt (mixed)?

If it is a purebred I would call up as many rescues for that type of bred and ask them what to do. That you have two choices, find him a rescue or have him put down. Putting someone else dog down is a no-go for me. Even with her behavior.

call RSPCA for advice, you can call them at 0300 1234 999.

I would call the lady and give her 2 weeks to either come pick up the dog or you will drop it off at the nearest RSPCA center.

Call them first though and ask what you can do.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "What do I do with a dog a friend has never picked up or looked after?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.031268300001102!