A
female
age
36-40,
*Higginbotham
writes:Well... my husband and I have been together for 5 years and we have been married for 1 year. We just recently had a baby boy (May 22, 2007). OK now for the question.... it seems as though I am ALWAYS the one that wants to be intimate. I am ALWAYS making the effort to let him know I am "in the mood". It seems like most of the time he does it because I want to.... but I don't know if he really wants to. What do I do to make him pursue me more? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, skye  +, writes (21 August 2007):
 Sometimes after a woman has given birth her husband starts to view her as a "mother figure". It doesnt mean that he loves you any less, its simply that you are his sons mum. Or perhaps he now views himself in a different light; as the provider for his family. He could be working very hard and feeling undue stress.
Perhaps your little one has been restless at night and your husband is tired through lack of sleep; or perhaps that has fallen on you and he doesnt want to add to your tiredness. Could he be afraid of you becoming pregnant so soon after your sons birth and doesnt want to put that pressure on you? There are lots of reasons why this has happened.
Talk to your husband and tell him how the recent lack of intimacy has made you feel. Tell him that you love him more than ever and want still share this with him. Put his mind at rest about the birth control methods you use.
Ask a trusted friend or relative to look after your son while you and your husband go out together for the evening. Have some time together without your son. This might help you both reconnect as a couple and not simply as someones parents.
Try putting on some nice underwear or doing something that helped you both to become intimate in the past. Im sure this will help you both to remember why you fell in love in the first place, for sometimes we all need to recapture that feeling.
Congratulations on the birth. I wish you all well.
Best wishes,
Skye
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