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What do I do next? He treats me like a kid, not his GF. I turn off when he speaks badly to me.

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 April 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 17 April 2011)
A female Australia age 30-35, *oxochrystal writes:

Hey guys,

well i am still with my ex, we broke up but he said he would try for our relationship, if you read my other question.....well things are going better, but he still treats me like a kid.

He never ever talks to me like a adult. i had too get a second job selling party tickets.

he was unhappy with me, because i slighty flirted with a guy. i dont find it that bad that i did, because i'm not trying to seduce nor tempt the other guy. I was

just being casual, 'hey how are you?'

But when i be dominant in the bedroom, he thinks i'm cheating.......he is soo constantly worried, and thinks i'm doing the wrong thing....

when i'm not, i work a lot.

He has pushed me to the point where i dont see him as sexually as i used to.

I feel that i dont love him as much.......

We always fight and i told him when he ''talks down'' to me that i stop listening.

Because i'm not a kid, i'm his girlfriend....so what do i do next?

View related questions: broke up, flirt, my ex

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2011):

And there you have it, sadly. He's a total moron and a loser through and through. Promise yourself that from now on, you won't date complete idiots! In return, I'll promise you that there are millions of better, maturer guys out there who will treat you with more respect.

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A female reader, xoxochrystal Australia +, writes (17 April 2011):

xoxochrystal is verified as being by the original poster of the question

xoxochrystal agony aunt Thanks guys thing is itold him how i felt and etc he ended up saying oh i dont care how i treat u you desrve it you need to grow and i got angry vecause he was saying things to hurt me alot...like he'll sleep with random chicks in my bed but i got angry so he said everytime i get angry he wont talk to me at all....xox

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2011):

If you don't want to end it, then you are making the decision to accept this treatment, and you don't have the right to moan about it. He won't change, so either you leave or you start putting up with it. That's your choice.

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A female reader, Battista United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2011):

OP as far as I can see you have three options.

1)Talk to him and tell him how you are unhappy with how he behaves towards you. Hope for the best and see if he changes.

2)As he has treated you this way before expect that he is not going to change and therefore just put up with it.

3)Realise that he is unlikely to change and therefore leave him and move on. Find someone else who will offer you the respect you deserve.

In my opinion option 1 isn't going to go anywhere; as far as I can see you therefore have to accept his behaviour as part and parcel of your relationship and learn to live with it, or take action and finish things. To be option 3 seems the preferable and most sensible choice. You say you don't want to end it, however, which means that you will simply have to put up with how he treats you.

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A male reader, macdubh712 United States +, writes (16 April 2011):

I think this dude has some serious issues that he needs to get worked out; if he is already verbally abusing you, because that's what it is, then this may progress to physical abuse.

Lookie here, you are a woman, not a little girl, and you need to make sure you get the respect you deserve. Nobody is going to go out and get respect for you, you need to get it yourself. How do you do that? Demand respect, hold people accountable for disrespecting you by enforcing consequences, and finally, RECIPROCATE respect. If you always give respect then you have plenty of room to talk when you get disrespected. Don't let this man talk down to you; tell him to shape up or ship out and actually ENFORCE this. Don't take bulls*** off of people like that.

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A female reader, xoxochrystal Australia +, writes (16 April 2011):

xoxochrystal is verified as being by the original poster of the question

xoxochrystal agony auntThing is i dont want to..

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A male reader, anonymous_jp Australia +, writes (16 April 2011):

he's being condescending towards you because he feels insecure and he is trying to make himself seem bigger and better than you so you'd want him more. he has issues.

tell him the way things are going aren't working for you and you need to tell him all that is bothering you. if you are bad at this try writing a letter to better explain it, and he cant interrupt a letter.

say you are willing to work through this because of your feelings towards him but something needs to change.

this is only my interpretation.

hope it helps

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2011):

So, in other words, he's not changed at all and isn't really making any effort. I really, really think you need to end it.

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