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What do I do and am I being taken advantage of?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 April 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *ysterious0711 writes:

Hi, I am a female who is currently in a lesbian relationship for over a year. My partner and I reunited after a 7 year departure, excluding any form of communication/contact. Now that she and I are back together… we have mutual understandings, that not only are we meant to be together but we’re also soul mates. When we first reunited, everything was going really well! We did a lot of communicating, in an effort to catch-up on all of the time we spent apart from each other. She later mentioned to me that she was in the process of relocating from Maryland to LA to take on a more fulfilling career within her field of interest (acting). I was excited for her big move, yet the thought of not seeing her everyday saddened me. I expressed to her how I felt and of course she shared the same feelings but we both decided upon having a temporary long-distance relationship. While she was residing in LA, her first couple of months was very stressful due to not having a job. She mentioned to me that her car-note and telephone bill were running a few months behind and she needed some help catching up with the payments - until she was able to find a fulltime job. It bothered me to see my companion struggle financially and become enormously stressed out over this particular matter so I offered to pay for the bills in which she missed a couple of payments on. She later landed a part-time job earning 8.00/hr while struggling to pay for rent and bills which totaled: $2200/mo. I found myself frequently providing money for food, rent, and bills so I began questioning if I was being used. After numerous suggestions of her moving back to Maryland until she was finically stable enough to afford living expenses in LA, she finally decided to move back to Maryland. For the past 7months I’ve been handling my finial obligations as well as hers and its beginning to place a huge toll on me! I’m wondering, what to do and if I’m possibly being taken advantage of?!

View related questions: lesbian, money, soul mates, soulmate

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A male reader, Neboraic United Kingdom +, writes (20 April 2009):

It doesnt sound like she purposely set out take advantage of you but it is happening. This is not how you treat someone you love. You should make sure she knows the financial help cannot continue and if she doesnt make an effort to fix the problem then you shouldnt stay with her. Im not saying you should break up for the sake of money, you should break up because she is not treating you right and it serves as a sign of things to come further down the line in the relationship.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (20 April 2009):

How the hell are her living expenses that high????

She cannot be driving that expensive a car and living in that an expensive a place.

Tell her to sell some stuff and find out why her bills are so ridiculously high. It's fine helping out a loved one, but not if you can't afford it so just tell her you can't afford to support her.

Good Luck!! xx

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