A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok...i have had heaps of issues with my hubby and porn over the past 8 years. He has finally dealt with it through counselling talking etc...Everything is great with us now.Now my problem is at work. See my boss has been visiting porn sites, dating sites etc. (he is married with 1 child). The both of us work in a tiny office..and I use his computer quite a bit for work...when I go on his computer there are images of naked girls everywhere..why do I have to be subjected to that at work now too???I know you will say tell a manager...but it then makes it awkward if he finds out I'm the one who told.How can I discreetly get him to stop??Also he tells me to leave early alot and it doesnt take a rocket scientist to work out why...makes me feel sicky eeewwwwwwI really like my job and he is a good friend but I dont want to see this crap all the time at work. I deleted some of his images while he was away..now they are all back.I dont like confronting him over it as its an embarrassing topic for 2 people who share an office space... what do I do???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  + ♥, writes (1 April 2009):
If he is looking at porn discretely and it's just online then it's none of your business.
If you are on his computer and they are there to see then just laugh shout "EWWWWWWWWW!! LOOK AT THIS!!" and show everyone in the office.
If he wanted it to be private then he could have made it private. If he's leaving it in full view then he is open to be taken the piss out of. If you make it a joke and he complains then it's HIS problem because he left it lying around.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (1 April 2009):
 If you knew someone that could install porn blockers get them to do it while he isn't there, you dont have to say anything just act natural and it will stop them from popping up.
I merely suggest this as your in an awkward position if you feel you could say something then i would not hold back because you are entitled to be at work and not be subjected to this, also you may want to mention if you were to tell anyone i.e his manager he could lose his job!
And as he has a young family and wife that might not be too good for him sometimes you need to take the tough approach with this as he seems oblivious to it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): Sounds like you can't confront him face to face. Write him a note, state what you've seen on the computer and how that bothers and makes you uncomfortable. That will stop him.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, damluvaam  + ♥, writes (1 April 2009):
 Can you tell him in very seriously, "Hey! I am female! That stuff really bothers me. I really don't like it. It makes me very uncomfortable. I would like it if you didn‘t view it here." That way, possibly, you're not too confrontational, very serious, sure, but not argumentative. This is the MOST important part - then, document the date you told him, what you said and what he said or did in response. Continue the documentation maybe two or three more times, if he continues, then you just have to report it to upper management. As a business owner, I am very tough about this issue because it puts everything I've worked my whole life for at risk. And it's not just porn but any type of hostile behavior between employees. Not the least, sexual harrassment of ANY kind. But in order for me to do something about it, I have to know.
Good luck
Denny
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (1 April 2009):
 Seriously, if it is bothering you THAT much, you need to talk to your boss about it. However, it's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. My hubby watches porn, at first it bothered me untill I realized what a huge part of being a guy it is. Now I find humor in it, and can even joke about it with him. Truth be told, it is your boss's computer, and he is entitled to do with it what he will, and you should feel relieved he isn't your husband. Telling a man he can't watch porn would be like telling a woman she can't wear make-up. It kind of strips them of their gender. The only way you can make it so you are not subjected to seeing these naked girls is to let him know that it just isnt your thing, and tell him it totally distracts you from doing your job well. Tell him it would be really cool of him if he could keep these images in a file that you don't have to see everytime you log in.
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