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What do I do about my ex? I don't want to be back in the friends zone!

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2009)
A male Canada age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I dated a fantastic, uniquely interesting woman for a very short time, but we were both deeply (almost soulfully) involved. It was too quick, too deep, and she broke it off for no real obvious reason, just saying that sometimes she felt confused; like, maybe I was the right guy, maybe I wasn't. After not having any contact for 3 months, I contacted her, we got together, she told me a few things that had been going on with her at the time we were dating and it helped explain some of her trepidation at the time.

Anyway, for the last couple of weeks we have had some casual contact, and I know she has enjoyed some of the fun notes I've left her and quirky things I've done just to lighten her heart. She guessed that I'm interested in rekindling the relationship, intimates that she is not, but sometimes flirts, sometimes goes cold.

She invited me out with her "crazy friends" one night. I found out the only crazy behaviour was from her; flirty, sexy behaviour, spontaneous, etc. But I was singled out as the one she would not flirt with, or practically not even make eye contact with. I was cool about it, no problem, but it was noticeable. Since that night she has not contacted me or responded to even my e-mail thanking her for the inclusion.

Can anyone tell me what she may possibly be doing, or, moreover, what should I be doing to get a deeper, more positive response from her? I believe I'm rapidly heading for "chump" territory.

View related questions: flirt, my ex

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A female reader, girl79 Canada +, writes (30 June 2009):

Hi, well I think that you first really need to find out what exactly is it that YOU want from her. Is a friendship enough? Do you want to rekindle your romance? Then try to see if she's on the same page, and honestly the best way to find out is to talk to her about it. Just try telling her how you feel (once you've figured it out) and lay it out on the table. The fact that she became distact so fast, so soon may mean alot of things, such as maybe she wasn't ready to start something as intense as you describe it, or perhaps she's no longer interested, but the only way to really know for sure is to be straight with her and ask her.

Good luck to you.

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