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What do his texts mean? Is he flirting big time? He's married!

Tagged as: Age differences, Cheating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 November 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 27 November 2008)
A female United States age 26-29, *ell7998 writes:

So I have been texting this married man, who is 9 years older then me. I am 17, I will be 18 next October. I texted him because I needed advice. He told me what to do, tell the kid I like him as a friend. I told him that I told him that, and im in love with a married man to top it off. He answered haha..whats his name? I said his name and he said i've already told you what to do, dump your BF and tell this kid hes your friend! then I told him I didnt want to dump my BF because there is only one other guy I want to date more then him, and hes off limits. he asked who it was and I said, you. he said ha..youre not 18. I said not yet, what will be different when I am 18? he said youll know when youre 18!

The next day we started texting again. I told him I wanted to take my BF to a Colts football game, and he said do what makes you happiest. I said I know what makes me happiest and it wont work, so i might as well go for the next best thing. Then he said what makes you happiest! I said i wish! hes taken already. and he responded, it anyway! I said you cant be serious. Then he said, seriously.. then he told me to take the kid I only liked as a friend to the game.

what do his texts mean? is he like flirting big time. I know he is off-limits, he has a wife, i know! but what do I do if I love him? Do these texts mean he is not happy in his marriage? What should I do?

View related questions: flirt, married man, text

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A female reader, leni Ireland +, writes (27 November 2008):

stop texting married men this is wrong of you. how will you feel when you are married and your husband starts texting some teenager? just stop it before you wreck someone's marriage.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008):

Stop all contact with this guy. You are heading for disaster. Trust me you are going to get hurt. This guy is not being fair with you. He is a married man, much older then you and he knows the danger of his games, but yet he is putting you at risk. PLease stop all contact with him. His intentions are not good.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008):

You are setting yourself to be used by a married man, run away as fast as you can, he will suck you in then bleed you dry emotionally, you are young find someone worthwhile and single.Let him crawl back to his wife or as other men like this do he will just move on to his next victim.

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (27 November 2008):

tux agony auntMay I ask why you are texting to a married man, and why is he texting you back? If you can answer the second part of that, you may find your answer..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008):

Ok, warning bells are ringing here sweetheart, and I know!! I was in exactly the same situation when I was 18.

Firstly, I can tell you where this one is going to go if you decide to continue it:

-You will be hurt

-He will not leave his wife for you


Im sorry to say it, but I spent 6 years of my life waiting for a guy that was married to come and be with me, I loved him and i would have done anything for him, but he ended up hurting me badly. 6 YEARS! I could have been enjoying life with someone that truely wanted to be with me during that time...

My advice - get out now while your feelings are not too strong and that you are not too attached.

But, I will say this, whatever you choose to do, make sure you are happy x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008):

you need to stop texting this man. you will be very unhappy with yourself if anything happens with him. you will really feel awful if you ruin a marriage. i know it seems hard, but you have to move on with your life. do not talk to him again. things will get better.

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A female reader, Asked Angel United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2008):

Asked Angel agony auntSweetie you are not going to want to here this but you should STOP texting him NOW. It is wrong wrong wrong! As you already no.

I am not saying it's all your fault he is as much to blame if not more. He should no better.

Do you really want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage. If he is unhappyily married that is for him to sort out.

Honey i'm sorry if you feel i'm being hard on you but i can only see you getting very hurt in this situation.

If this man feels the same way about you as you say you do about him he would not still be with his wife.

I'm sorry hun but i really feel he is getting his ego massarged by a young girl having a crush.

You should stop all contact as far as i can see NOTHING good can come out of this situation.


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A male reader, sexpert Uganda +, writes (27 November 2008):

i think he is flirting with u bigtime.he likes to play with yo mind coz he knows u wld love the challenge of getting him for yrself if he is married.

but he likes a bit but is scared that u aint legal yet and is still deciding whether to go for it coz its a risk for him if his wife got to know.

therefore,he doesnt want to spoil your friends chances with u in the meantime so u can have your football game with him but when the right time comes,when yr 18,he knows u will be up anytime for a lil romance,behind his wifes back.

yeah,man maybe married but man always loves a lil adventure once in a while as long as he careful.hope u dont get hurt when its over coz i hope u understand he cant fully be yours.

just be patient.i know u like him already.

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