A
female
age
30-35,
*b193
writes:I'm turning 18 and finishing up my senior year of high school. I am a virgin and do not want to have sex until I am sure I'm with the right person. My mother had sex at 14, needed an abortion and lived a pretty messed up life for a while after that. I have a lot of self-respect because of her past.I'm not attracted to guys my age and prefer those a few years older (like 4-6 years) I fear that guys this much older than me will see my virginity as something to overcome and just move on, or not pursue me in general because I'm not "easy" enough. I guess I have some trust issues..What do guys think about virgins?
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (19 February 2011):
 From a girls point of view, being someone who is 19 and has only ever kissed, I find that men respect me more. And I mean men, not boys. :)
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (16 February 2011):
 hi
you stick to your guns, i think its great that you want to be 100% sure about someone before you have sex with them. i wish i had the same morals as you when i was your age, i really do! if a guy doesn't want to bother with you because he thinks your not easy enough then this is a great way for you to filter out the wrong men and you are absolutely right in thinking that some men will see having a virgin as a sort of trophy
xx
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (16 February 2011):
 Something like this shouldn't matter, it's your choice that you want to lose your virginity to someone that you care about. If someone can't respect that then they don't deserve you.
That's the same outlook that I have, I have a lot of friends that have casual sex and don't give a damn. I'm not like that at all, I'm 20 in October of this year and to this day I'm still a virgin - I want to be with someone that I care about, I don't just want to have sex with a random girl when I'm drunk or something.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): The only things that older guys will offer you is an ego boost and a greater chance at being taken advantage of.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (16 February 2011):
 Before you get worked up over a guy's opinion (or that of guys in general), ask yourself what really matters. Consider whether other people's opinions really matter in the way you describe.
You're worried that men will not puruse you because you are not easy enough - well, that's an unlikely situation, but hypothetically, think about what that means. Are you really looking for the attention of a bunch of guys who want easy girls? Or wouldn't you rather they ignore you, and stop distracting you from the decent men out there?
You say you worry that men will try to screw you and leave. Well, yes, there are some guys who would think of your virginity as a challenge, and a trophy. They are a very small fraction of men, but enough to warrant caution. Look at their history. If they're promiscuous, or have a history of cheating, then it's a good bet they're not worth your time. Look also at how they pursue sex - nearly any guy will try, most repeatedly, to get into your pants. But a decent guywill respect you when you say "not yet," and stop for at least that night. A player will agree, but try again fifteen minutes later.
Now, for the opinions that matter (besides your own) - decent men. Nearly all of them will think it's great, and respect you for your choice. It shows self-control, a capacity for conviction and loyalty, and respect for sexuality that many people lack.
Another benefit is this - virginity, or at least a low partner count, will help negate one of your relationship handicaps. Guys look at family history. With your mother's history, many guys would normally decide that you will turn out like her, and wouldn't commit. However, your commitment to self-control and sexual purity is the single most effective way to show a man you are not like that - not the only way, but the most effective one.
Best of luck in the future. If you end up losing it to the wrong guy, it's not the end of the world, so don't be too scared to take a calculated risk. Just keep an eye on the line between caution and hesitation, and you'll go far.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): guys find it very sexy.wait for the right person and have that special moment.you can never have it twice..remember that
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Guys think of virgins as a good thing. It shows your not a slut that would just do anyone. But, when you think you find the right guy and have sex. Make sure you please him to and he pleases you. If you don't give whatever he wants he might go elsewhere. And the same goes for you, If he don't please you, you might want to go elsewhere too. Sex is nothing to mess with without discussing openly. Make sure the person you are with is on the right page with you and not ahead or behind, because if they are ahead or behind then problems will occur.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): There are two types of virgins, one who's scared of sex, timid and going to be a bad sex partner, another who knows her own body, enjoys sex (with herself or a partner, just not intercourse) and has a healthy outlook on sex.
Guys worry that innocent girls may freak out and that they have an increased responsibility in making her first time a memorable and enjoyable experience. Most of they time they just want to get laid, with little obligation.
Stay a virgin, learn what turns you on and how to have fun and your man will revel himself one day!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): You are a virgin by choice and because of your values and that is held in high regard by guys...not because you are a virgin by default because you get rejected for sex. BIG DIFFERENCE!
Stay proud of your choices and you will command the utmost respect from the guy who is lucky enough to be chosen by you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): I believe that you're a very intelligent young woman for making this decision. As a 22 year old man I can say that most other guys in my age group would be extremely impressed by your decision and only the highly insecure hard party boys that never mature would think otherwise. You would be surprised how many young women we have seen just throw away their virginlties in a blink of an eye so this will certainly not be your downfall. However, men my age REALLY start to care about thewomen that they are dating and you will need to convince him that he is not taking advantage of you by dating a younger woman.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Don't rush it. Not all men see it as a challenge. A lot of them will more than likely respect you more because of it. The right guy will eventually come along and put your worries to rest. I lost my virginity at 21 with a guy I'm sure is *the* one and he is almost five years older than me. He didn't pressure me at all and it was 100% my choice. So, speaking from experience, there are good guys out there, you just have to be patient.
You're still young and you will become wiser with age. I am 21 and I'm comfortable with the age I first had sex, but everyone is different. If a guy doesn't pursue you because you're not easy enough, count that as a blessing. You don't want to be with that kind of guy in the first place.
Take your time, there's nothing wrong with waiting to make sure it's with the right person =]
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (16 February 2011):
 Funny enough, I was just talking to a female friend of mine tonight that thinks men will never want to marry her because she isn't a virgin. As much as you're worrying about getting rid of your virginity, many women with they could get theirs back.
Don't stress about whether you have or haven't had sex. Just look for someone that respects and admires you and that you can have a real relationship with and the rest will fall into place
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Well, I was a virgin till age 22. I wish I had waited even longer. Personally I find it super sexy when a girl is a virgin (not because I wanna be her first), I think it's amazing when a person wants to wait. The absolute hottest thing you can do is to keep waiting.
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