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What do 23 yr old guys want? Just sex or a relationship?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2008) 16 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2008)
A female United States age 22-25, *0isgirl writes:

At 23 years old do guys just want sex or are they ready for a relationship?

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A male reader, OnewingedAngel United States +, writes (18 November 2008):

BOTH. I'm 23. If I could have a gerat relationship though-I'm completely down.

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A female reader, Lozzie United Kingdom +, writes (18 November 2008):

im 19 and i been going out with a 23 year old for 8 months. can honestly say, he does enjoy sex, and would have it every night, as most guys do, but there is alot more he wants. sec doesnt rule his life. he likes the whole relationship thing, just being with someone. and i dont think its just him that feels this way. most my friends are 21 and over, and they all seem to want the same thing. dont always think the worst x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008):

Ermm...as a reputation guess I could imagine most 23yr olds wouldn't, but then it depends whether they are at University or their general character as a whole.

You will really need to kind of talk to the person. I know a lot of boys who want to be married by the time they are 25?

But then I know someone newly married who is 30 so...yeahh depends.

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A female reader, 10isgirl United States +, writes (11 June 2008):

10isgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for all the answers!! my 23 year old turned out to be a two timing bastard who just wanted sex from me and many others!!

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (10 June 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntSince you have to ask (Why do I get the feeling you got a particular 23 yr old guy in mind) I would say sex.

Go with your instincts.

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A male reader, Uncle Sneaker United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2008):

Uncle Sneaker agony auntAll guys want sex. Most do anyway. It's the one thought that takes priority over almost anything else from around 13 years old until around 90 years old for most of us.

Are we ready for a relationship at 23? Sure. Most are. But I think it's fair to say that it's far more difficult to sustain a relationship when it has started at a younger age. I reckon mid-twenties is probably the best point to start. You've both lost some of the immaturity by then; your sexuality has usually settled by then; and you don't have the emotional (or physical) "baggage" that almost invariably comes with age.

Anyway, I don't think it's a question we ought to ask. If we all worried about whether we or our partner was "ready" for a relationship then half of us would never settle with the right person.

Is there love? Do you know each other properly? Can you live with this person? Are your aims for the future compatible?

Yes? Go for it!!

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2008):

Jamer70 agony auntSome men do want sex at that age

While some men are looking for longer term relationships (sometimes not marriage)

Not all men mature at the same rate

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

Most of the time, they like a serious relationship but don't want to get married! I don't really get that, even more so if the couple have kids, its like your stuck together now so why not get married?

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A male reader, bfire United States +, writes (9 June 2008):

I am almost 23. I want both. But I don't want to get married.

Let me explain, the last 5 years have been pretty lonely. (Zero Girlfriends, sex, dating, whatever.) Been busy with other things, like school and work. (i.e. not much of a social life, but I want to change this before my last year of University is up). I am now almost 23 so I want to start dating girls and meeting people. I also want to have sex, since I am young, and lets face it, you are only young once, and would like to experience this part of life before I am 25.

This isn't to say that I want a bunch of 1 night stands. On the contrary I would rather have a girlfriend. Be it a week, 2 weeks, a month or months of seeing her before we attempt sex, depending how it goes.

I do not want to get married at 23. Granted I haven't had much experience with relationships, so I am not ready and don't know what I am really looking for in a person yet. Some 23 year olds can have happy marriages, but on average I would say know. Also I am still to young I think. I could be committed to a girl, and only date her, only love her and be true to her, but I am not ready to settle down yet. There is so much more I want to do.

If I start dating now, or get a girlfriend. I would probably not want to consider getting married until I am about 28 years old. I want a somewhat stable job, and be happy in my own life before I attempt to share a life with another person, and possibly bring new life into the world.

Then again, if I found a girl tomorrow, and she was "the one" and I was sure of it! Who knows, I could possibly be married within the next two years. Marriage is a commitment, and shouldn't be taken lightly. Depends on the person, timing, everything. But on average, no, 23 year olds don't want to get married.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

I think it all depends on what's happening in their life. This is a true fact that I read: that guys who have trouble managing their work lives often have trouble managing their relationships.. so say at around 23, unless he's a trademan and already on the steps of success, (else you could be a guy who's still studying, lack of time, working hard at getting where he wants etc)..

Guys generally like to go wherever the wind is going, and want to be free, without retrictions. But of course there's guys out there that want relationships.

if your hanging around the club scene looking for "commited" guys, then i'd say you wont have much luck lol..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

It depends on the guy...at that age, most guys could probably do both. At that age, I knew alot of guys in relationships. Heck, if they like a girl enough they wouldn't mind being your boyfriend...they can have sex anytime they want with a girl they like...that's a fair trade...

What you CAN'T expect from a guy that age is anything too long term...they might get into relationships here and there but the chances that you may end up being his future wife is slim to none...

In fact, I just dated a 22 year old (I am in my late 20's) and he said to me "yeah I can do a relationship but I am NOT getting married for at least another seven years." You see? He probably thought cause I am older that I am probably looking to settle down (which I kind of am...sort of...), so that's why he said that...I loved his bluntness, I understood his concern, and we had a great time together...

Point is, if he likes you he can be in a relationship with you. But he probably is not going to pop the question anytime soon...if ever...

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (9 June 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntAt 23, they are not really matured and in the threshold of marriage.

What they wanted is probably some fun and sex and not relationships.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (9 June 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

It can be a bit of both. But not all 23 year olds just want sex. A lot of guys this age are looking for a long term partner.

It looks like you have picked a player mate. If you are looking for a relationship and are meeting guys this age, don't sleep with them for a while and become friends first. If they don't try and get you into bed at every opportunity you have probably found yourself a bloke who is interested in more than just sex.

good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

Depends on the guy. I've met 18-year-olds who were ready for serious relationships, and 40-year-olds who still only wanted sex. If you're thinking you can draw this line about someone on age alone, think again...more of it's going to be personality & personal values (or lack thereof) than anything else.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

Depends on the guy. My bf is turning 23 this Thursday. We started dating when he was 21. He's been talking about marriage since the beginning. He says I'm the one.

Then again, I've met some guys who're in their late 20s or even well into their 30s, and still aren't ready for a serious relationship.

Back to my boyfriend, as much as he wants romance and commitment, he doesn't leave sex out anyway... which I'm extremely fine with lol :P The point is while a guy may want a serious relationship, he'll also want a lot of sex, so if he wants sex all the time don't question his love for you, because he may be very in love with you but also want you sexually a lot.

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A female reader, :):):) United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2008):

It totally depends on the guy. There are alot of immature men that age who will just want sex but then again there are lots of guys who will be looking for a relationship.

Its hard to say, you just have to get to know them well first before anything sexual happens. If a guy is interested in a relationship, he will wait to have sex.

xxx

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