A
female
age
36-40,
*achakaRoni
writes:Ive been seeing this guy for a year and we are friends who sleep with each other but to start out with we were just sleeping with each other. Over the past few weeks Ive asked him if he wants things to go any further and he said he didnt but didnt know why.He said I was important to him though, he likes spending time with me. I saw him last night, and we had a really nice time (not sleeping with each other) and we had a laugh and he hugged me. But, at the end of the night he made a remark, he asked me what film I wanted to watch and just because I didnt mind, he said he didnt like me answering like that- it was annoying him. What does this all mean? Is he confused still? scared? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, here_2_help +, writes (9 February 2007):
 it just sounds like maby he wants to know what you want and if you dont mind me saying what do you want do you know? sit down and think do you want the reletionship develop? it sounds like he likes you and wants to know what you want he sounds like he is worried that you will reject him.
hope this helps xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2007): This is the just my opinion, but I am strongly sensing from your posting, that you are a girl who doesn't make huge demands on this guy and he's 'sitting in the cat bird's seat'. You need to be commanding some respect from him. If this is the case, then no, he's not confused nor scared. He's using youbecause you are allowing it. The problem is you are a nice, giving girl who'll just accept crumbs of his attentions. And he knows it. And he's trying to tell you that is relationship is badly off-balanced. You do all the giving, you accept the decisions he makes, you allow him total freedom to make all the decisions. Think, girl...you have a mind of your own. Start setting some clear boundries here and make your wants, needs and expectations known to him. This is clearly a problem with respect and it appears he doesn't have any of that for you. Respect is foundational in any relationship, friendship and otherwise. That is what he's trying to tell you. When you say something like "I don't mind what movie we watch...I don't mind that you boink me with no further committments!" You asked him if you and he can take things further. He said 'no, but he didn't know why?" Of course he knew. He wants a female that will tell him...no more 'sex buddy' scenarios, either we take this to the next level or I'm outta here!" Try that. If he meets you halfway and say ..'Ok, let's commit further'...then great! If not, kick his ass to the curb and go find someone who will respect you. Never be afraid to ask for what you want and insist on it.
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