A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I have a question about what this guy meant in an email. I'm on an online dating site and have been communicating with a few people. One guy in particular wanted to meet up, so he sent an email to ask about meeting up that week (Christmas week). I responded that I was out of town during that week, so how about the next week (which is New Year's week, this week). He didn't respond until just yesterday wanting to know if we could meet up this week, tomorrow in particular. But to be honest, since he took a while to respond, I ended up making plans for tomorrow (and today), and didn't want to meet for New Years (family and friends time) or even this weekend…. So I just told him that my week is full now, how about next week? He then wrote me, and I quote, "I"m good. Be well. :)"Does that mean he no longer wants to meet at all? Or that next week is in fact good?I'm afraid I have been difficult, and if it doest work out, that's fine, but I just hope he doesn't think I was playing games! (I really wasn't, I would think it's not a surprise people get busy during the holidays….). But. He if does think that, I guess it can't be helped…. :/ Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2014): Hi, I'm the original poster. Thanks so much for all your thoughts and responses! I haven't heard from him since his email, and I have no intention of responding either. I still am not sure quite what he meant, but I agree just the way he is/it is, is not worth it, so I won't sweat it and instead move on.
Thanks again so much! Happy New Year to you all!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2014): Dont reply, see if he gets If he gets in
touch again, thats it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 December 2014):
 I'd let this one go too.
I DO think he was hoping for some New Year's quicky. A guy who doesn't give DECENT amount of notice for a meet-up and who doesn't get back to you fast, is (to me at least) not looking for anything serious. I might be reading more into his e-mail then he meant, but it does come across (to me) like he expected YOU to drop everything to met up. And I think that's a little iffy.
Also... looking for a relationship over Christmas/New Years is not really a good idea, since most people don't REALLY have the time to get to know a new person, as family and friend takes priority (as they should). So I'd not worry about his semi-cryptic e-mail and move on.
There is NO reason for you to feel bad or feel like you owe him an apology. YOU don't. HE dropped the ball, by NOT getting in touch faster and by NOT giving you ample notice.
Onward and upwards, my dear.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 December 2014):
 No loss for you...
sounds to me like he's just up for quick fun and games and not wanting to plan things.
I would not contact him again.
I would also NOT accept any plans from him that come with less than 48-72 hour lead time. Anything like a "what's up for tomorrow" kind of thing is to be ignored.
You have a life.
You are busy (good for you for not cancelling plans to meet up with a guy)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2014): The only way you will know what he meant would be to ask directly but not many people would want to, for whatever reason, so my suggestion is you could mention 2 dates you would be willing to meet him say you could meet the 3rd and 5th of January. I'd write ' hi hope your well sorry we couldn't have met sooner but I'm free 3rd and 5th of jan if you want to meet let me know which is best for you :) " that way if he's interested you will know plus you keep them dates free just incase if he doesn't and says he's other plans put don't worry that's ok , he then sees ur not clingy and your confident which guys like. Hope this helps
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2014): He should give you more notice. But the fact that he's pressured you to meet up without much notice doesn't look good. Some men in the dating game don't 'play ball' - I don't mean play games, I just mean they drop the usual courtesies because they want to see if you will drop them too and just get into bed quicker. If you try to put normal standards in place then they won't be rude or anything, they just won't contact you. And then, if you 'break' and contact them to apologise, they know they've got you hooked. I know I sound cynical, but a man who'se not prepared to make a bit more effort at the start and respect normal courtesies is not gonna pan out in anything remotely like the longer term. He'll just use you for sex, but will probably be very charming about it, keeping you hooked.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2014): Here's a guy who wanted to get laid for New Year's but he's not too interested in getting emotionally involved. Good riddance.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2014): Well, these are two difficult weeks for trying to fit new people into your life so he should understand. Maybe he just got the wrong end of the stick and doesn't want to come across as desperate. Just send him another email saying that you really want to meet him but that you've just had so many family and friend commitments in these busy too weeks. Suggest a date and venue next week. I'm sure he will still want to meet you if he is an understanding person. If he isn't, then you had a lucky escape.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2014): Hi there, it's a strange reply if i do say so myself and only he knows what it means. Given that you're only emailing someone from a dating site, I'd just leave it and move on to someone else who's interesting you. Remember you're doing this doing site thing to be fun not confusing.
...............................
|
