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What can I say in a horny text without sounding *stoopid*?

Tagged as: Long distance, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2010)
A female , anonymous writes:

my boyfriend and i are apart alot and he has kinda compained that i dont send him horny texts! i like recieving them from him and would love to be able please him with some but i am worried i wil sound stupid or wont know what to say after the first few.

what should i do?

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A female reader, 3mma Ireland +, writes (2 December 2010):

i suggest starting off a normal convo then mispell a word purposely eg. come-cum ;) add a wink face after. or making something dirty eg boy - come on. girl- cum on what? ;).

or send dirty chainmails like : I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

forward this to everyone who likes a laugh.:L

stuff like that its easy :D

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009):

Like that other guy said- sometimes the idea IS to sound 'stupid'

Innuendo is usually fun! And its easier to start off light :)

I would give examples but theyd probably get innappropriate ;)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006):

The thing is, the possibility to sound stupid may be inevitable. There has been a few times my ex and I texted each other about regular stuff, then out of the blue I texted, "You turn me on." Her response was, "What?! How?!?" Then I proceeded to tell her a short sex story over IM chat phone to phone. That turned into a sex-fest that night, but yeah...

Sometimes messages of this nature can make your partner laugh, and it's totally fine. 8]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006):

*"Stoopid" better have been spelt like that on purpose! 8]

Well, I will PRESUME you are older than what I think you are, and tell you that you can try responding to his text messages. Children, avert your eyes... 8]

Eg: Boy texts - "I've been thinking about the softness of your silky skin across my lips the whole day." // You can respond - "Which part?" // Boy - "The small of your back, your shoulders, your neck, your collar bone, chest", etc, etc // You - "How will your lips move across my body?"

AND so on and so forth... OR say you want to initiate something, you can use symbolisms to create a type of fantasy for you boy - eg: "I've been craving for a long, stiff, and plump hot dog the whole day."

Etc...

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A female reader, hannieseds New Zealand +, writes (16 May 2006):

hannieseds agony auntHey there!

This sounds like fun! My boyfriend and I were long-distance for 2 years and flirty and horny emails/texts bring so much fun and love into the relationship! Good on you two for not just letting that side of your relationship slide while apart. My suggestion to you would be to take your cue from what he is saying. Look at the language he is using in his 'horny' texts. From there you can work out what he is comfortable in saying and work out if you are comfortable saying back similar things and take it from there! Maybe practise writing a few texts and see how they look/sound before sending them. Only say what you are comfortable saying and have fun playing around with different words/phrases - no doubt it will be easy to tell if you are 'hitting the spot' from the texts you get back! Have fun!

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