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What can I do to win her back?

Tagged as: Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 December 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 December 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, *ebelryder234 writes:

About 2 years ago I met an amazing girl at the hospital where I work. Both of us 23 and in nursing school. After working together for a couple months we began to develop a friendship at work and then outside of work when she asked me to hang out sometime. We soon began having feelings for each other and started a relationship. We dated for a year and a half and had a wonderful time. All of a sudden she started to become distant and sometimes hard to get a hold of. She is a good christian girl and is absolutely against cheating so I know she hasnt. I called her one night to ask why she is so distant. I asked her if she still loved me and if she still wanted to be with me. She said she didnt know. She loves me but is not in love with me. She told me she is confused and is stressed (mainly because she is graduating and has to decide where she will work). She told me that I am the only guy she cares about. I know she is upset and loves me still, we both still work together and she told me that the other day while working with me she had to go in the closet and cry. I love her with all of my heart and nothing makes me happier than being with her. The only thing that I think is causing a problem is that she wants to move to florida and I do not. The reason i do not is because I would have to leave behind all of my current hobbies. I told her that I would move somewhere else warm like texas or the carolinas. This has not been a problem for some time. She was ok with going somewhere else until just recently. I want nothing more then to be with her again. I have already made the mistake of telling her how I feel several times and how i love her. She says if its meant to be then it is but not now. What can I do to win her back?

View related questions: at work, christian

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (20 December 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntgive her her space stop pleading your love for her she may not be ready to settle down yet who knows women sigh there made from a rib what do you expect but yeah back off relax, im thinking theres another guy involved a cool hot bad boy that lays the pipe like mario thats super to you, badgering her about your feelings will not help the situation you need to let her figure it out shes got you on the back burner right now. if i where you i would step up to a doctor while your nurse gets things figured out. That last line girls say alot i think they get it from some movie probably a chick flick i will never watch " if it is meant to be it will be" but its bad news for you it means there confused as hell and im pretty sure theres somebody else dude do your self a favor let her go. "If you love something set it free if it loves you it will come back"

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

Ask her if she is planning on taking a job in Florida and is that is what is holding her back? Ask her if she feels badly that you aren't willing to move to Florida with her, try to find out what is really going on and start from there.

If you both want different things you aren't wrong, it happens sometimes that timing is not right for a relationship or different life goals come into play. You just have to come to some agreement on both your sides, not a compromise because someone will feel slighted and resentful, but try to come to a mutual agreement on what you both want to do.

Tell her not to shut you out, but to talk to you and see if something can't be worked out, that you want to try to do that, don't go on and on about how you feel about her, that may be making her feel guilty for making her own choice....

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