A
female
age
18-21,
babygirl08
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for two years. I love him very much. But when we fight I always seem to break up with him. I dont want to break up but it just slips out. What can I do to stop this before i lose him? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 March 2008):
 When ever your argue or fight and if anyone raises his/her voice , it is time to stop and change the subject and if you cannot stop , then walk away.
Another time , another place, you may not feel the same .
A
female
reader, babygirl08 +, writes (6 March 2008):
babygirl08 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you once again for your help i really do appriciate it. Feel free for anyone to answer, all help is greatly appriciated!
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A
female
reader, **Laurzie**  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 Hi there,Im a bit taken aback here coz i am the exact same as you!! Let me tell you my story and i hope it will demonstrate to you what you could be letting yourself in for.Have been with my boyfriend (now my ex)two and a half years.He was never really very attentive to me. Not in a very bad way. Lets just say he wasnt the affectionate type. Everytime we had a fight id break up with him because i knew he'd come back telling me how much he loved and wanted me!! I loved that. Nothing made me happier. I cant believe how stupid i was. The last time i broke up with him was a month ago. He never came back. I suppose he had enough of my games. So now im here heartbroken wondering how in the name of god ill ever get through this! I did text him and told him i missed him...he isnt playing along. So now ive lost a two and a half year relationship all for a bit of attention!!! Jeez...when i thinks of how ridiculous i was im ashamed of myself.So my advice to you is when ye have a fight why not take a bit of time out..and talk about it when you have calmed down. Sometimes we say things in the heat of the moment that we will regret. Realise that it will come to a stage where he will get fed up of it.Just take a step back!! And think before you talk!!!!All the best. xxLauraxx.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  + ♥, writes (5 March 2008):
 HiIt can be a sign of immaturity, but we all do it at times in our lives. You're sure you dont feel he's not 'the one' deep down?If you're positive. Try to take some deep breaths when you argue, and make yourself not say it! Even if it means going for a walk to cool off.Its real distructive in the long run hun.C xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, babygirl08 +, writes (5 March 2008):
babygirl08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys, I really appriciate your help. I always know that i want to be with him but, sometimes i just want him to feel hurt that we are fighting and that was the only way to do that. I lknow its wrong and im taking your advice LJ001! thank you and anyone else please feel free i need all the advice i can get
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse + ♥, writes (5 March 2008):
 "when we fight I always seem to break up with him. I dont want to break up but it just slips out. What can I do to stop this before i lose him?"This is what seemed to happen with me and my EX. After a while I ended it - only once... Once and for all.The answer is simple. If you really do love him then STOP IT. He WILL get sick of it and move on... It's just a matter of time if you continue this way.Truth is everyone has disagreements/arguments. This is part of being in a relationship. You have to work through the differences... Kiss... Make up and move on.Each time you "break up" the less effect it has. It's like "oh here we go again".Best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): This is really strange, because I used to be EXACTLY like that! I loved him with all of my heart, but I kept ending it with him if we fought, even though I'd never want us to be apart! (We always got back together within a day, at the most.)It's quite a hard thing to break out of. You feel like when you fight, it's just too hard to be together any longer, and maybe things will get better if you're apart. But the fact is, being apart makes NOTHING better. So what I found helped was if, any time you fought, tell yourself not to end it. Remind yourself of times in the past where you've broken up, and got back together, and it hasnt made a difference at all. Remember it's all unnecessary, and that if you can stay together during the harder times, it makes you stronger! Because often it honestly does make you a stronger couple. He obviously loves you a lot, if he keeps taking you back, so decide in yourself that you're not going to break his heart again by breaking up with him once more. It has to be a decision inside.And yes, it's tough to stick to it. But it honestly gets better with time. It's fine to take out your anger or emmotions on him (in a way without violence, of course) but dont do it by splitting up honey. Good luck :]
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