A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys,So me and this guy are in a relationship since a month now. I really love him a lot and he says he loves me too. I'm pretty sure he's telling the truth. We have know each other a long time and it's amazing what is happening now.I admit he's not really like the "right guy" for me. I'm a university student, very normal, well mannered and i think not so bad looking girl. He is more the "bad boy" type. He drives fast, is involved in drugs and can sometimes look aggressive (he isn't, but he can make it look like that).So now I told my mom and dad about him. They also know him very well because he is also a friend of my brother and they also are good friends with his parents. They totally DON'T ACCEPT our relationship, and if they could they would BRAINWASH me to forget him. I've already told them i don't simply can let this go, but that is isn't something to look at in the future. It's more like a being-happy-now kind of thing. For him too.What can i do to make my parents be okay with this relationship? Or should i break it of, just because they say it's not good for me (where they are probably right).p.s.: there are a lot of reasons why i can not end this. I really love him, we are in the same youth movement where we have to work together, and I would not be able to work in the group without loving him.It's really difficult to explain everything. But hopefully someone understands me. Thanks for you time.
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female
reader, MissMacBreeMac  +, writes (6 February 2013):
 I totally understand. It's awful when something feels so right, yet someone you trust is telling you it's so wrong. Maybe sit down and have a talk with your parents, and discuss both of your opinions and reasons behind your opinions. Maybe you can sway them, or maybe their reasons will make you realize that you don't love him as much as you thought you did. Whatever you choose, just don't ruin your relationship with your parents. Like you said, you don't see this boy in your future, it's more like a 'happy-now' kind of thing. However, your parents have been with you since the beginning and will be with you till the end.I'm not telling you what to do, just some things to think about before you make your decision. :) xo
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (6 February 2013):
 Sadly you really can't convince your parents that this guy is the real deal. It certainly sounds like his reputation precedes himself and just the brief description you've given us indicates to me that you know in your heart of hearts he isn't on the up-an-up either.
Let's review: he drives fast (risky behavior and endangers himself AND others without regards to the consequences), does drugs (usually leads to harder things and is just a bad choice in general) and he comes off as violent even though he isn't (this often attracts violent reactions). Sounds like a piece of work to me.... and that's just your words.
I suspect part of the attraction for you is that he is a rebel. This guy is different and something unusual. You and him share political aspirations as well. So I completely understand your attraction and your feelings towards him. I was in your shoes a time or two at one point as well.
However, I truly hope you give some serious reflection on what you want short-term and long-term in your life in terms of a man and a relationship. My advice goes double if you are sleeping with one another -- let's face it, a baby last's a lifetime and you'll be tied to this man for the next 20+ years. Imaging your boyfriend living his lifestyle for the next 20 years while you "grow up"
In closing, the only way you can convince your parents that he is a "good guy" is that he BECOMES a good guy. If he treats you well and starts to become a bit more of a guy your parents' envision you with, will help -- but don't expect overnight acceptance. This process will likely take years if it happens at all.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 February 2013):
 You can't make your parents be OK with your relationship , because you 'd be asking them to be bad parents. What parents can be happy that their daughter is dating someone involved in drugs ?.
If you want to keep the bad boy , keep the bad boy , at least in theory you are old enough to weight pros and cons and decide accordingly. But , do not expect that your parents are thrilled about your choices,- they are not supposed to be.
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