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writes: My girlfriend and I are in a distance relationship, about 2.5 hours between us, both in college, been going out for almost 6 months now. We both think sex or even just giving each other an orgasm is going too far before marriage but we still fool around. Though I do more of the fooling then she does. I looked at porn and masturbated when I was younger. I eventually got off the porn b/c I realized what it was doing to me and that it was bad. But because of it I am more comfortable fooling around then she is I believe. She never really explored herself she says, and hasn't ever looked at anything and doesn't know much. At first, we'd fool around and be doing about the same level of stuff, but lately it's been me doing more because I want her so much, but she doesn't do that much back to me because she "doesn't know what to do and feels stupid." So then I get frustrated b/c I see the pleasure I give her but I dont' get it back. What can I do to help her be more comfortable fooling around? I've told her I can do less and let her have more time to explore my body and get comfortable but she says that won't help. But she does say she wants to do things, b/c for awhile I thought she wasn't attracted to me (she is in pretty good shape and I am in okay shape).
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. We had an interesting night.
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female
reader, yeahitsgreat  +, writes (30 September 2007):
 if she thinks she is going to look stupid let her know its okay how can she do something perfect the first time. let her know what feels good and dont ever pressure her if she is not ready, that will always set you back. just teach her. after she knows what she is doing she'll be fine
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A
female
reader, JustAskJen  +, writes (28 September 2007):
 The bast way to over come this is with a pen and paper. i felt the same way with my partner. i felt really stupid doing certain stuff, mainly because i thought i would do it wrong. Each of you have a piece of paper and write down 5 questions like what would you like to do, how does ______ make you feel for example. this method helped me out alot and felt alot more comfortable. Hope this helps!
Good luck
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