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What can I do to become boyfriend material and not just friend material?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 November 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I need help big time with this!

Every time I start dating a woman, I get along very well and sometimes go for further dates. I had two short relationships, but no physical contact apart from kissing. I am very careful not to get physical too soon to allow my date enough space to feel comfortable. Hence, never really got physical. I try the romantic part and am attentive (get them flowers, remember their birthdays, know their freinds names and all their stories and backgrounds, etcc..).

However, every date or relationship ends almost the same. They tell me they enjoy the company, I'm a nice bloke, look nice, have a lovely personality, nice to be around, am a gentleman, BUT they can only view me or view me as a friend. They have no explanation for how they feel.

I am frustrated and depressed and believe I will never find a woman to have as a girlfriend or wife. It seems nice blokes realy do not stand a chance.

What can I do to become boyfriend material and not just friendship material? What do I need to do? It is really killing me!!

Please, please give me constructive advice so that I can finally move ahead.

View related questions: depressed, flowers, kissing

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2008):

You say you take your time to get physical... that's good, but how much time... weeks? months?

Also being really lovely and listening and being there for the girl and finding out about their entire life history is also great but they have to view you as a man, not a counselling service. You just get soppy and soft sounding after a while.

Try swapping your priorities round a bit, take your time to get to know them and all their friends a little bit better and make sure you bring in a bit more of the physical stuff a bit earlier on.

If you kiss them, make it a passionate kiss, if you give them a cuddle then run your hands over their curves and let them know that you want them.

Making a girl feel beautiful is great but making her feel sexy and wanted is the key.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008):

I sure wish I could meet a bloke like you! My best advice would be that you just haven't run into the right woman yet. Be diligent, she's out there and looking for you.

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