A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im not sure if i love my girlfriend any more. Im 24 she is 21. We have been together for two years.During that time we have done so much, been on holidays around the world, travelled, all kinds of things. She has helped me in so many ways. I've developed and become a better person because of her. I'm more confident. We are so close. However, lately, and i don't know why, but i just don't feel the same towards her. I'm so stressed and confused. I don't know how I have lost those feelings of love. I adore her. She is wonderful. But I just don't "feel" it anymore.I suppose she is quite needy and an extrovert, whereas im pretty introverted and need space. Maybe she is just too much for me. Over the last few weeks she has been irritating me more than anything. We speak on the phone every night, long 30 or 40 minute conversations, and i run out of things to say eventually. I feel terrible. One minute I feel I need to break up with her, the next I want to stay with her...I'm not eating much and I'm crying a lot. It hurts SO much. But i think our relationship is over. And it cant bear to lie to her. But I cant bear to hurt her by ending it either. I feel terrible. I feel like it is all my fault, which it is really and that the last two years of our lives together have been wasted. Why don't I love her anymore?? How can this happen? She knows the end is coming I think. We sat down and had a chat about where we were going. We agreed to see less of each other. But after that, things have become so awkward between us. The magic, the spark, is gone. I don't know what to do. I don't want her out of my life, but I have to end it i suppose. I feel like she is now just a close friend or a sister not a girlfriend.I need some advice/sympathy on what to do. Thank you.
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female
reader, singinbluebird  +, writes (25 February 2016):
 I wish she was asking this instead of you, asking why her introverted boyfriend has been more aloof and possibly wants to break up with her. My advice is for her to focus on herself, love herself, and break it off/give the relationship space.But shes not the one asking. So my advice for you is---shes not going to change if shes not aware of whats happening. That things are changing, people just change, its okay and it will always happen. Sometimes we wake up one day and realize we no longer feel same way about someone, or we wake up no longer in love with the city we grew up in or we wake up just feeling older, wiser or more insecure, sad. Youre aware of only whats happening inside you. And its telling you let go. So man up and let goBe the man she respects and dump her respectfully. Shes not aware of whats happening, she cant change if you dont disrupt what is. Shes still comfortable BUT youre not. You have to dump her and make things uncomfortable and I know because youre a good guy, its so hard but you need to do it to solve all this. What your girl needs is your honesty, not your loyalty right now. Speak upSpeak up and break it off. Thats the only way she can deal with whats happening, only way she can grow and only way YOU can grow. Sometimes life becomes boring and mundane and it takes true honesty and courage to make it right but disrupting it and changing it and speaking up. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2016): That's a long time but a good amount to know of you two are good together try a conversation to see if it is working for both of you and who knows you might realise you miss her!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): I'm a 49 year old man with a fair amount of relationship experience behind me. From them experiences i can say it's never easy when you start to feel things shifting in your feelings towards someone you've shared so much fun and emotional times with.All relationships are unique in some ways but breaking up with someone (if your a decent guy..which you sound like you are) is always the worst part..whether it's you instigating it or your partner. The above responses from both anonymous posters have elements of good advice. You should tell her, be honest and in turn show respect for her feelings.. and you should also give yourself a break from each other to see how youre really going to cope without each other in the long term. All the best with however it turns out..and don't beat yourself up too much because if you've mutually enjoyed your time together and have been decent to each other hen it's been a great life experience and who knows you could always gravitate toward each other further down the line.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): well while you are in emotional meltdown over your girlfriend someone else will be revving up and ready to take off with her the minute you leave the runway.
Just taxi your emotions home, walk down the red carpet and get ready for the next phase of your life.
You havent wasted your time because youve had a wonderful time.
If you are now ready to let her go because your feelings have changed then just be blunt and spell it out to her.
You dont need to justify breaking up . you just have to do it and then you can both move forwards independantly or in your case put your plane back in the hanger while you give it a good MOT and refuel for your next endeavour or adventure.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): Maybe have a month apart from each other? That means no contact whatsoever until the month is over. Time away from each other can make things slightly clearer, your either going to realise that the relationship is worth fighting for, or you're happier without her.I'm in a similar situation to you at the moment. It's very difficult. But use this time to focus on you, work out what you want to do with your life. Spend time with your friends and enjoy life! I also think that our generation (i'm 24 too) is just way too quick to give up on things. Everyone's grandparents went through situations like this, and they stayed together and go on to lead very happy lives. You seem like you both had a very good relationship and nothing really happened to make you want to break up. Things do fizzle out a little bit, but I strongly believe you can get that back if you want to. It's going to take time and effort, but if that's what you want, it'll work!
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