A
female
age
30-35,
*hellybelle21
writes:I have a situation. I am in love with two people. The big thing here is: I am in a relationship with a man and we have been together for a year now. The other person I am in love with is another woman. She is a professor at my school. She is soooo beautiful, inside and out. I am so in love with my bf and I was told by my therapist that how I feel is completely normal. I don't want to leave my bf, but I cannot get rid of the feelings for my professor, who treats me in a very special manner. She buys me coffee, sends smileys in emails to me, and jokes around with me all the time. I never worry about what she will do to upset me. However, I do not like certain things my bf does, but he is working on improving himself and so am I since I have an anger problem. It depresses me that I feel this way because I do not know who I should be with. I wanna be with my bf, but I see myself with this woman in a way. I am 21 and she is 44 and that does not bother me. My bf is 25 and is everything I want. I am bi and I am just confused. I want to tell my professor that I am in this situation without telling her that its HER that I have feelings for. I just need her advice. Some advice from you guys would help as well. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012): Dear Anonymous,
what I guess is your teacher and you have a special relationship. This is something useful to learn, but it is up to you stopping her or sign a limit between a professional behaviour and a friendly one, and friendship, if you're a student, is not the best option with a teacher. So, sign a border and make it bold. If something is there, when you'll be no more her student, there will be time to discuss it.
For your bf, try to understand really carefully what are the strong and weak point of your relationship, and try to be close to him, it will help you not to be overwhelmed by your illusion with your teacher.
Teachers also may fail, just avoid that failing being you.
A
female
reader, babalou  +, writes (30 November 2012):
 I think it would be best to wait this one out.First off, it is very bad for a professor to have a relationship with their student, or at least an intimate one. Secondly, this could just be a passing feeling as far as it goes with her. I'm also bisexual and I was attracted to my last girlfriend in the beginning, but after a while, I realized that it was just a case of liking her for how good of a person she was, but not so much anything intimate. We were together a year and the most we had done was pecking on the lips from time to time. My point is, just wait and sort your feelings out. It's also very unlikely that your professor will want to pursue you in such a way.Don't try focusing on the things you dislike about your current mate, because they can start to seem like huge things and reasons to leave him for, when they can always be talked about and fixed.
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