A
female
age
18-21,
iwantlove
writes:Right, so, there's this guy. I am totally, hopelessly, head over heels in love with him, and he used to feel the same way about me. I've never met him face to face, we used to go to the same school though, so we have a connection. I talked to him pretty solidly online for about 3 months, every night. Then he just stopped responding. It's been a few months since then and I am still not over him. We literally just started talking again, and it was amazing, it felt just like it was before. Except that now, he's told me that he's also been talking to this other girl who used to go to my school. I am upset as it's the same girl who lured my boyfriend away from me, and it just feels like he is replacing me with her. I don't know what to do, I can't stop him from talking to her, but I just couldn't stand the thought of losing him to her. Not that he is mine to lose or anything, but it's just tearing me up inside, thinking of the things they might be talking about. Thinking of the things he used to say to me and wondering if he's saying the same to her. Please, anyone, tell me what I can do? I am so desperate for help right now. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 My mind is struggling to wrap itself around the fact you are in love with a person you have never seen yet connected to through a prior school you both attended.
I do, however, remember being your age and having a friend that would cry over Rick Ocasek (from the Cars) and how she would never have him.
I know this is different because you would talk every night but it fails in comparison to a "live" relationship. If he is your age, he probably has a "live" girlfriend at his school and likes to chat online with different girls. I dunno. How come you never met after talking so much? What about boys at your school?
It is hard to know the tone and intention behind an email and that is why so many people "fall in love" online yet it never materializes in person. Sometimes it does, why not try and meet him in person?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): OK first of all you are not in love. You are infatuated with someone who you have never even met. Secondly and more importantly, you need to stop obsessing over this guy. How? By just shutting down those obsessive thoughts every time you start. That's right. Control your thought life. Need help learning how to do this. See a behavior therapist. Seriously.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 If he is into her , then he is not your type.In life , we win some and lose some.We should be gracious when we lose to others.
There is no shame in losing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): clearly this guy is trying to get under your skin by saying that he is talking to another girl. If all you do is talk online, that's not much of a relationship. Is there a reason why you two cannot hang out in person? Believe me, there is always going to be a sexier, smarter, more perfect girl than you, but you have to be confident and know that you are going to be that sexier, smarter and more perfect girl one day. I have a similar girl in my life, I dated a guy and she seduced him away from me, and now she's dating a guy that I had a thing with. Don't spend your time thinking about what this other girl might be saying or doing, just be yourself and if this guy really likes you, he will choose you.
Good Luck sweetie :)
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