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male
age
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anonymous
writes: I have erectal and low libido problems, more than two years ago, and my wife is very upset about it, as she thinks, its because I don't love her anymore. I don't know what is wrong with me,I went t the doctors and they say there is no indication medically to the problem. I tried Viagra, but it needs sexual desire, and that is what I don't have,, Could this be psychological? And if it is how? I think I find my wife sexy,and I think I love her, but could it be that I don't know my know my feelings. She said one day I will fall in love with someone and see ,it will work. She is convinced it is personal,toward her. We do have same relationship issue, but I can't believe it is really the reason.Is there anybody , who had the same experience? I'got some testosterone shot ,but it didn't do anything yet...I don't want this marriage end, but she says ,if its stays like this, she can't see us staying together much longer, we are married 22 years ago. I'm going crazy here, and my confidence is on lowest point. Could it be that I don't know what is my own problem and she is right?How should I find out the real cause, and what should I do until its not clear? Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): This is such a common problem with like one in four of all men of all ages and is because of a number of things like nerves to alcohol, and medical to age. You could always try the 'little blue pills' but they are real expensive and have such really bad side effects. What you need is the herbal pills, they're safe without side effects and gets my guy so hard and he stays that way. Try some different websites like www.stallionsexpills.com and www.menonlyproducts.net Once you've tried those, your troubles will be over and look out ladies. Marlow
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): balota
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): Thanks very much ,for your advices. Yes, it is a very hard situation t struggle like this, she is so convinced that I have a hidden agenda, what makes me unable to have sex, but wouldn't know it? Does it ever happens that you don't know what is in your own head? It is driving me crazy. One of the biggest issue for her, that they didn't find any medical reason, she is happy that I'm not sick, don't get me wrong.She is a kind woman, I know she is suffering too.I think its a good idea, that I should be more consistent with exercise, I have to admit, I need more push to do so. Yes I d work a lot I'm the 24/7 kind of guy. Could that really cause problems? I did work the same way before, but not trouble in bed. Well, I just want to move on from the idea ""that is all in your head"" Thanks, and if anymore tips please....Yes I think its also very good idea t keep telling her that she is beautiful. I didn't do this before as I felt it wasn't needed.... But now it would probably made her feel a bit better. thanks again
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (26 January 2008):
 That sounds like a really tough situation, you have my sympathy. You're obviously really trying to do something about this, good for you.
The advice of the other aunts is good. You're wife is clearly going through tough times, probably feeling unattractive to you because of this. The little things you can do each day to remind her that you love her and are attracted to her will help her deal with her side of this.
All I can add is suggesting you try doing or increasing the amount of exercise you do. A really good workout can be good for your sex drive, and over time if you are fitter and healthier you will feel more confident and have more energy. That, combined with what the other aunts have suggested, could help things.
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female
reader, Paula4u  +, writes (26 January 2008):
 Sex isnot everything! First of all, are you happy together? In Britain we dont use therapists that much we tend to plod a long and wait for the problem to go away. Doctors are our last resort. So assess if you are happy first, go out and share things inside the home, outside. Cuddle a lot, maybe a massage, just relax tell her you love her, make her feel loved and hopefully she will reciprocate. Take your time and make sure that neither of you are overworked or stressed. When you feel you have the balance right 1 month 2 months from now (however long it takes) try again. If nice underwear turns you on, ask her to put lacy things on, if you like to be touched ask her to touch you,kiss you , what ever it takes but no stress for both of you. Most important is to ensure that your relationship becomes stronger and not weaker. Good Luck!
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female
reader, confused.i.is +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Women get problems too you know, low libido, never feeling sexy.
You are in a rut, nothing other than that.
You are also under far too much pressure to be able to perform.
You need to relax, take away the stress of everyday life, talk your problems through and get them solved before concentrating on the sexual side of your relationship.
Go out walking, hold hands, cuddle, kiss. Take your time.
Do different things together, go backwards and rekindle the spark.
By thinking too much about it, he does not want to come out and say hello.
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female
reader, Jmo  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 First of all, your doctors should have worked with you to determine whether or not your problems are physical or psychological or possibly both. But anyways, acknowledging your wife's frustrations probably puts a lot of pressure on you and then trying to have sex is even more frustrating to her because she feels undesirable. Have you tried explaining your OWN personal frustrations to your wife? Sometimes people are so locked up in their own feelings they neglect the reason that they have them. Maybe if you talked to your wife about this she could understand and not take it so personally, which by the way, might take some pressure off. In the meantime, I'd suggest you try talking to a therapist. I know it sounds lame but sometimes talking aimlessly to fill up dead air make you think about the things you're saying and why you're saying them and you can kinda' get to the root of your own problem. -just a suggestion. As far as what to do "until its not clear" maybe you could make an effort to show your wife that despite this, you still love her (even though it sucks that YOU have to make an effort while you're suffering as well) and ask her to be understanding and it's not her fault and there will be no other woman (or man) or just appeal to whatever you suspect it might be that's on her mind. I'm sorry I kinda ramble but I hope this helps. I wish you the best -Jmo
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