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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 3 months and things have been going really well. Last night, though, I was a bit confused. We were lying in bed watching tv and started kissing, then he started to remove all my clothes, but he wouldn’t let me touch him or remove any of his clothes. He kept standing back and looking at me, but not saying anything. I started to feel a bit strange about it so I asked him what he was doing, and first of all he said “do you feel vulnerable?” I said “no” and he said “there’s nothing wrong in feeling vulnerable”. I started to feel frustrated so I asked again what he was doing and he just kept saying “nothing” or “why”. In the end it started to annoy me. I asked him about it later on and he just said he that there was nothing wrong and that he was not acting strange and that he just liked me being naked. I don’t understand why, but this has annoyed me a bit and I just can’t work it out.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 Hi There,
I am saying this as a man. I LOVE to see my lovers naked, every chance I get. I LOVE IT.
HOWEVER, that is not what he is doing here. My guess is that he is experimenting with his sexuality, maybe he is interested in some form of BDSM play but is too naive to know how to execute it. Usually, this type of "play" requires some discussion before hand about boundaries.
It is not your vulnerability that he was trying to get turned on by...I think he wanted to see what it was like to manipulate you. Again, I think he was just testing the boundaries, but doing it in a manner that made you feel uncomfortable, and rightly so.
-Frank B Kermit
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for the replies. I just wanted to clarify that we have been having a sexual relationship already, and that side of things has always been good. It was just that last night, he appeared to be acting a bit odd, and I couldn't understand why and also why i was annoyed about it. He asked if i liked it later on and i said no, but it isn't that I don't like him taking control sometimes, becuase I do - so what is it?? I don't know.
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A
female
reader, snowbird +, writes (18 October 2006):
 Have you seen him naked before?
If not, (I'm just guessing at this), but perhaps he has some disfigurement and is embarrassed about it.
If not, he could just be shy, or perhaps he is a virgin..
I would feel annoyed too, but it is early days, however I personally would feel a bit freaked if he made a habit of this!!
Take care!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): The way you describe what he did, makes it sound like he actually enjoyed making you feel uncomfortable..loved making you squirm. What kind of guy does that?? So knowing that, I have to say--what a weirdo! I think he's a controlling ass and he was playing with your mind, a bit. Vulnerable means an "unsafe feeling, a feeling of insecurity". Why couldn't he say-how 'beautiful you were? how lovely you looked?" Why couldn't he take this moment and make it one of romance, admiration (for you) and eroticism? Instead he stares at you and then says...does this make you feel vulnerable? What an utterly degrading way to treat you. Something tells me he has a 'kinky' way of thinking and perhaps he likes to be in a position of sexually over powering over a woman. Watch out for this guy! If I were you, I'd get to the bottom of this before you both ever do anything sexual again. You alet him know, you will not tolerate anything but respect from him. Good luck, dear
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A
female
reader, steemo  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 it would anoy me to but mabey he is shy about his own body so he is checking yours out just crack a joke about it so he dont feel to much under pressure if it gets to strange for you just leave him dont stress yourself out
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A
female
reader, andy906 +, writes (18 October 2006):
i think he may have some issues you need to sit down and really try and talk to this guy.
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