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What are the rules of giving one space?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 November 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 November 2010)
A female United States age 22-25, *ope Lane writes:

Recently the guy I've been dating for 7 months now (not my bf..just dating) has been acting not like himself..he's also not been showing so much attention that I am use to. Then I found out he is mourning from a loss family member that happened a year ago and he is also stress with college. Then to add to the lack of attention..black ops just came out so he's been very busy playing video games. So last night I told him I feel like I don 't fit into your schedule, and he said its not that..have you ever felt like you wanted to be alone. Then I asked do you want to be alone? And he said yes I just have a lot on my mind and I don't feel like myself..I just have to get me back. I replied I understand and I love you. So I totally get how at times men will need space especially when there going through a lot, I have no problem with giving him space..I know not to call..text or anything because he is the one who asked for the space..now my main question is this if he contacts me via call or text today or anytime soon..should I reply back to him. I want to give him space, but at the same time if he contacts me is it okay if I reply and keep it short and sweet...or should I not respond for the sake of giving him space? I know what to do during the "space" period, but not too sure what to do if he contacts me? What do you think?

Thanks :)

View related questions: I love you, period, text, video games

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A female reader, Hope Lane United States +, writes (12 November 2010):

Hope Lane is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks :) You both make perfect sense!

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (12 November 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntI would definitely answer his he calls/texts given his current emotional state (stress and grieving) he's going to need someone to vent to which may be you. Also, what if he calls/texts tells you the space is over and you don't answer your phone?? Yikes..communicate on his terms.

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (12 November 2010):

I would say that it depends on what he contacts you saying. If he asks you a question, then text him or call him back in response. But if it is sort of a stand-alone thing like, "I miss you" or something, reply back but keep it very short and don't try to invite more conversation. Just gauge what he's ready for. If he does start talking to you a lot, then at that point maybe ask him to clarify what's going on in the break situation.

Don't not respond if he contacts you, as he might interpret that as you ignoring him or losing interest. Just keep it on the same level as he is.

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