A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What are the chances I'll get a guy who masturbates over me in a relationship? Is this becoming uncommon now? I might be able to settle for them thinking of me sometimes, my ex hardly did, I found that strange and dumped him. I gathered I would be able to find someone who takes notice of my sexuality more.
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2014): There is a pattern. For a result u've never had u need to do something uve never done. Do something to make ur bf fuss over u. Dont be basic. Apologies to th spelling and grammar nazis x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2014): It's no more your business, female anon, than how he wipes his arse.
It's just one of those things that kind of woman forces us to learn to lie about or avoid. Like when asked if a woman is fat and we say no even when she is or during pillow talk when they ask us that trick question what we're thinking about and the only acceptable answer is them.
I'd just lie to a woman so insecure she thinks it's important to know my every sexual thought. "It's all you baby, you're so amazing you've made me obsessed to the point of a dissociative disorder, and other women just no longer trigger any kind of cognitive response in me."
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2014): No I honestly don't. I've been asked before but the thing I left out that alarmed me was this was supposed to be the honeymoon period. This guy behaved like I had no impact on his sexuality at all. I found it incredibly odd for him to think of so many other people when masturbating that early on in our relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (3 January 2014):
 A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014):
" It's not really your business anyways"
That's where we differ, I think it is my business.
Why? If I may ask. You don't OWN that person. You can not CONTROL what goes on in other peoples heads. Are you always fully in control when you dream or who you think of when you get yourself off?
Do you think a guy loves you less if he thinks briefly but sexually of Katy Perry one afternoon to a handjob because he heard Fireworks before he entered the bathroom (or wherever he wanks at?) Do you think that makes you less important?
I just don't understand why it's so important that YOU are the only focus of HIS sexuality 24/7 - I get it when he is WITH you. That he thinks of you (both sexually and non sexually when he is not with you) but ALWAYS?
You have no fantasies of your own? Celebrity crushes?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): " It's not really your business anyways"
That's where we differ, I think it is my business.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 January 2014):
I'm with Cerbeus.
I find it strange that you need to 100% control your partners fantasies.
Do you also expect him to ONLY dream of you when he goes to sleep? Only get turned on by you ? Notice NO other females except you?
MASTURBATION FANTASIES are NOT about love, they are about release and FANTASY.
In some cases it things it BETTER that your partner do not USE their GF/BF as masturbation fodder but instead imagine some fantasy character.
I think if you can't HANDLE a guy not making you the center of the universe then DO NOT ask what they think of while masturbating. It's not really your business anyways.
You shouldn't HAVE to NEED your BF to tell you that you were amazing in bed - can't you TELL if you rocks a guys world or not? Whether YOUR contribution was great, good or mediocre?
I think it's unrealistic to expect a person to ONLY think of their partner while masturbating. It's a WHOLE other thing if they can't get off WITH you, unless you look like Pamela Anderson or whomever. But masturbation is a PRIVATE fantasy - unless you and your bf are masturbating together.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 January 2014):
 Why even ask something like that of your bf? I get it, it's hard not to want to feel like the only person in your partner's life, but I promise that lessens as time goes on and you exit the honeymoon period. Not because you care less but because you are more secure. And if that doesn't happen? Then he's probably not right for you.
If my guy was masturbating over other hot women and never told me how sexy I was, that would wreck my ego completely. I totally understand, that must be hard for you. But all guys aren't like that and there is a guy out there who won't make you even feel the need to ask if he thinks about you, because you know he wants you most. Just hang in there.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): Very easily, you could find a guy on the street willing to wank all over you, no problem.
If you're talking about a guy who only ever thinks about you when he wanks then just make sure the guy knows that's important so he can lie to you and tell you that he does.
I find it strange that you need to 100% control your partners fantasies. Or that you somehow think a quick wank is sexual when it's not. Makes you seem kind of insecure.
Your last statement is a bit ambiguous though OP, did he just not give you enough sexual attention or something? Because if that's the case then what's the point him thinking about you sexually and not doing anything about it?
OP life is a lot easier when you don't rely on men to make you feel sexy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): Thanks for your answers, it's just I had a bad time with my ex. He didn't think about me, didn't have sexual fantasies either. Never said anything suggestive to me when we were apart, didn't tell me how sexy I was or how good last night was. The guy before him was similar. I think I deserve more fuss.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): honestly your post made be laugh. But seriously, of course he will masturbate over you if he cares for you and he is horny enough and he is away from you and can't get you in flesh.Going to a prostitute when I am away from my wife has never worked for me.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): I had a boyfriend who was sexually obsessed with me. He always wanted to make love to me and when we were apart, he'd masturbate thinking of me, hearing my voice or looking at my pictures (fully clothed, though). We'd make love seven or eight times a day. But you know what? Such sexual worship is not enough to make a successful or satisfying relationship. What counts far more is mutual love, respect and consideration.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (3 January 2014):
Hi there. Is it really that necessary for a guy to masturbate while thinking about you, when he is not with you?
If the guy lives locally to you, well then he is going to be seeing you, isn't he?
There won't be too many absences from seeing you.
If you and someone you really like have a great rapport with each other, well then the guy is going to be thinking about you when he isn't with you, anyway.
And so what does it matter whether he masturbates while he thinks about you, or not?
You only want to know that he is thinking about you when you are not together, surely.
And that he cares about you and is interested in you and in your life.
And that it is not - out of sight and out of mind.
And a good indicator of that, is that during the week that he calls you at least once - to say "Hi and see how you are going."
You really want to know that he values you in his life and that you are important to him.
That would have to be the most important thing for you to know, surely.
You want to know that he genuinely cares about you, and that he would rather he with you than anyone else in the whole wide world.
And that is what MOST people in the world want, more than anything else!
...............................
|
