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female
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pinkflower
writes: I need some help trying to figure out my feelings. 5 years ago I met a guy who as soon as I saw him I felt hugely attracted to him like never before in my life. I had NEVER looked at a man and felt so sexually attracted before. The sexual attraction was so big that I could have an orgasm just looking at him. Again, that was the first and only time I see a man and I feel like crazy having sex with him.I have never had anything with him, some things happened and we got out of touch for almost 3 years.Before we lost touch for several months I could not stop thinking about sex with him then after we lost touch I stopped thinking of him. Then about a year and half later all of sudden I started thinking of him again but my thoughts were different, I did not think of sex anymore or not as often. Then when we got in touch again I got to know him better and the last 2 years he is constantly on my mind, he is the first thing in my head in the morning and the last thing at night. But these last 2 years I rarely think of sex with him, most of my thoughts about him it's the glow in his face, the sparkle in his eyes,the look in his face, his smile, his presence, the sound of his laugh, the tone of his voice. I think he is so cool and nice and charming. I love his personality and it seems we have so may things in common.What do you think is this feeling? Is this love?Is this just lust? I think at first it was pure lust but since I don't think of sex with him anymore for about 3 years it seems the feeling has become something else...I look at him and there couple things I don't think it's very nice about his appearance but I don't know, I have this strong feeling for him inside of me, I can see his flows...so what is this?
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female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (16 September 2006):
 I hope everything works out for you two then!
Good luck with the future relationship! *hopes*
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Assuming of course that he is single, I'd say you should pursue the matter further. You'll never know whether it's love or not until you get the relationship going. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Let me rewrite the piffle I wrote below, sorry for the spelling errors!!!
Well my dear if this has been going on for 2 years, then maybe you are right, lust and pure desire has moved into love! My question to you is are you going to tell him how you feel? If you love him, and he is single, sieze the opportunity, good luck and I hope it works out. xxx
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (26 August 2006):
Well my dear if this has been going on for 2 years, hen maybe you are right, lust and oure desire has moved into love! My question to you is are you going to tell him how you feel? If you love him, and he is single, sieze the opportunity, good luck and I hope it works out. xxx
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A
female
reader, pinkflower +, writes (25 August 2006):
pinkflower is verified as being by the original poster of the questionExatly-when it's jus lust it fades! I have lusted before but after masturbating thinking of the guy a few times the lust was over. Love between a man and a woman starts somewhere and it stars with an intense lust/attraction, not every lust/attraction become love...
My lust/attration for this man has become love.
and I'm sure of that. My thoughts of him for the last 2 and half years are about him, about his smile, about his personality and not about being in bed with him, it's just about his presence. He is so cool and nice. 90% of my thoughts about him it's his smile, I never loved a smile before. His smile makes my day.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (25 August 2006):
It sounds like lust to me because you say that purely by looking at him you experienced an orgasm, so that sounds like lust to me!! I had a similar experience, with a man from work, I couldnt work out what it was because looks wise he wasnt my type at all, but I dreamt about him, I just had some chemistry with him, but it does sound to me like lust and if its lust, it fades, if you truly loved him you would know about it. xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006): May I ask what your family/home life was like? How were Mom and Dad's relationship? Do you think your homelife has in anyway influenced how you think about this man?
What are the things that happened? Who was hurt by whom?
It sounds like you are doing your best to convince us that this is in fact love you are feeling and that is very suspect to me. You have gone out of your way time and again to state you don't think sexually of him which would indicate obsessive behaviours.
Have you ever had individual therapy? If not, then please seek some counseling.
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A
female
reader, Amethyst +, writes (24 August 2006):
I think the first attraction you felt was lust, but after you got to actually know him it turned into something more. Love COULD be going a bit far, but then again, you have the symptoms. :)If he's always on your mind, and it's little things like his smile... his laugh... his personality... that falls more into the category of love, at least in my opinion. And this "strong feeling" isn't a strong desire to toss him into bed, now is it? It's a desire to be around him, right?
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