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What am I doing so wrong that my girlfriend gets to treat me like crap?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2015) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

If someone could offer some advice right now i would be very greatful, it might be a little long.

Basically we have been together nearly three years and things just arn't right at the moment.

About four days ago i was asking about her day and flirted with her and she took a huff about it and had a go so we didn't speak for the rest of the night. The next day she still didn't speak so i asked her if she wasn't speaking to me. She said she was busy and i said okay and just asked her if she slept alright last night. I corrected a spelling mistake i made which she started picking at, it irriates me to no end how she picks at things like that and causes fights over it, like how once i used a word apparently only shes allowed to use, is it worth messing up your relationship for that.

I asked her if it really matters, then i snapped at her because the past few weeks its just been getting to me how she treats me. The put downs, the with holding affection if i don't do as I'm told, the sarcasm thats not the slighest bit funny as its at my expense, not been allowed to express if I'm upset.

Apparently what had annoyed her was that i asked about her day so basically what i said when i snapped was.. 'You never ask about my day, you never even ask how i am, how bad of me to give a crap about your day and wanna have a conversation with you'.

From that it went on to how she says i treat everyone like crap and don't like when its done back to me, i told her she was been an ass, she says she was only ever an ass when she met me because she learnt from the best and finally i told her to stop been a child as she was using her sarcasm again that she thinks is hilarious and she tells me that shes got more important things to do than waste her time on a child like me.

She says she used what i said back at me, yes i called her an ass after she started and yes i called her a child but i didn't say any of the other things she said.

I know i'm not a priority to her, i've found her calling me names to her friend, her on a dating site, encouraging other people, talking to ex's that ask her out despite knowing i'm with her and talking bad about me to them too. I just think she goes way too far but the thing is she makes me feel insane, and i question if i am the one that is the problem because honestly any sane person would apologise if they were in the wrong, i do.. so why doesn't she? Am i the one that is at fault? Am i just been too sensitive?

I try to be good to her, planning surprises, making her feel loved.. so what is it that i am doing so wrong that she feels the need to treat me like absolute crap and not apologise for it.

We haven't spoke for 3 days now, usually i'll go running back to her and apologise even if its her in the wrong, so who knows how long the not speaking will last because i have had enough.

View related questions: flirt, my ex

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntShe TREATS you this way, because you allow it. She KNOWS that you CATER to her, accept her philandering behavior and you let her walk all over you, give you the silent treatment when you don't "behave" as she wants.

This isn't about what YOU are doing wrong (other then LETTING this woman do it) but WHY you are doing it.

So MY question to you is, WHY are you still with her?

You are not a priority to her.

She is on dating sites (looking for greener grass)

She degrades you to her friends (name calling)

She is still contacting the ex.

DO you think those things COULD be because she is too much of a chicken to DUMP you? OR because you spoil her so she will stay till she finds "better"?

Why not end it and UPGRADE....?

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