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We've only been dating six weeks but he seldom initiates contact with me

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 February 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been dating this guy for 6 weeks. We have met up multiple times though it has been hard as I am a single mother to my 4 year old son.

The reason I am here is because I need to know if this is normal or okay. The man I am seeing barely contacts me between dates, he may send me one or two texts “morning” I am the one who usually has to initiate texts and he does always respond but it is disheartening. He has also never phoned me.

He does though 90% of the time ask about the next time we are going to meet. I am just afraid he may be going off me or might not be so keen on me, surely you want keep in contact with someone you liked??

We have had sex with each other but not every time we met. Last time we met, we had coffee out. Looking through my texts he has never been a great texter but he made more effort at the start...should I ask him about this? I don't want to be someone booty call but I also don't want come across as too keen? help

View related questions: booty call, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 February 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntstop playing games "i am tempted not contact him at all now, even if he texts me first. " is NOTHING but game playing.

BE yourself. and give him time, 6 weeks with a single mom who does not have reliable child care is not a long time

maybe he's trying to figure it out too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2015):

I am the OP. Bit more information, we had sex a month after dating so I did wait. He knows I want a relationship and not a booty call, we had the exclusive talk...yes he does come to my house in the evening a bit because my son dad is useless at having him but we have only had sex twice so far.

If he liked me he would contact me, I just don't get why he doesn't? I think about him during the day but the same cannot be said for him. Yes some men are bad with texting but his phone is always going off when we are together.

I saw what his ex girlfriends look like and they are prettier and skinner than me. So maybe he sees me as the average looking girl who is clingy? I am tempted not contact him at all now, even if he texts me first.

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2015):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntUnfortunately.. some people just are not very good when it comes to texting/messaging etc. I have also found that this does apply more to men than to women.

I haven't a clue why some people are not too good at texting and I have known lots of males who simply cannot be bothered to text long heart felt messages back to the person that they love simply out of sheer laziness.

I personally think he is into you.. and I think that he is just being a bit of a typical bloke when it comes to texting... many guys I have known, respond with half assed one worded answers that come across as very blunt.. which then makes you automatically think they ain't into you or you have done something to piss them off, and with some blokes you just have to learn to accept it.

There are a lot of factors as to why he doesn't text much... he could not use his phone very often, he could be a very busy person, he might not be bothered to type out loads or he just isn't up to date with how too talk and do things at the same time. It probably isn't because he doesn't like you or has gone off you.

I think maybe you should have a chat with him about where you think this thing you've got going on is headed... I reckon that'll put things into perspective for him and it'll rule out the chance of him thinking your a booty call if you voice your opinion on if you'd like to have a relationship with him.

I also think you should maybe discreetly mention about the whole texting thing.. just be like "Hey I have noticed throughout the day you don't put much in your texts" that'd be a good move to start off with. :)

Some people just don't really like to text... I myself am not a texting person, and when I am out I am out to do things and not look at my phone.. he could be the same kinda person.. however you do still deserve to get some attention once in a while... and he should put some more effort in so you feel just as good when you donn't see him as when you do... but just remember.. he ain't gonna know what he is doing wrong unless you tell him.

Oh yeah.. and maybe you should just phone him instead? Give it a shot! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015):

Yeah, I think he just calls you for sex. That is why he always makes plans to meet with you but rarely contacts you in between these meetings, to chat or see how you are doing. Cause he doesn't care. He just wants to have sex with you.

Guys like him usually stick around for as long as you allow it. But you'll notice his calls and interest are going to be fewer and farther between as time passes. If you keep "dating" him, he may even only come see you at your house or his, at late hours of the night, with no date beforehand. And usually at his convenience.

Definitely not a keeper. Just next time you date a guy, get to know him better before you jump in the sack with him.

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