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We've been friends for 18 years, but she is everything that I want in a girlfriend! Should I tell her?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 January 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 January 2006)
A male , *ts writes:

I have been friends with a girl for nearly 18 years and about mid last year I noticed that I would get excited when I heard from her and was going to catch up with her. From then on I have thought that maybe my feelings for her have changed and well they have. She has just recently broken up with her boyfriend and is still getting over it. We have the best times together. Laughing and talking until the early hours of the morning. Everything that I want in a relationship is exactly what she is able to give. The thing is what the heck do I do? Do I tell her or do I keep it to myself? She is currently living up north which is good for me but my feelings are still the same. She's been up there for about 3 months and I still feel the same. Can anyone give me advice as to what I should do? Thank you

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A male reader, kts +, writes (16 January 2006):

kts is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for the comments back people. Much appreciated. I kept my question brief but I think maybe a bit too brief. I thought i'd add a bit more to the story after reading Dawns answer. Thank you also Dawn. My friend told me a few times last year that she had had a crush on me during our friendship in the past and after my last relationship that i dissolved just after 2 years ago i have always said to my friends that i will never settle in a relationship again that i want to have what i've always wanted in a relationship but for now i am just not interested in anyone no matter what. Now my friend will be thinking that i wouldn't even like her but that is most definately not the case. I've never done anything special with her that i don't do with other friends so i would very much doubt that she knows how i feel about her. Anyway there's a bit more to the story. Thanks all.

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A female reader, Dawnest +, writes (15 January 2006):

She's a woman with finely tune intuition and she already knows how you feel about her.

telling her will put a barier up between you as she trusts you as a good supportive friend but has never in all those years fancied you enough to even try you out.

By all means tell her how much you love her but do it in a way that makes her feel lucky to have you as a good friend in her life.

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A male reader, Dazzerg United Kingdom +, writes (15 January 2006):

Dazzerg agony auntI would say that you should 'play it by ear'. She is going through allot right now. Obviously she will look to as her friend for support at this time. You need to be there for her. It is entirely possible that shes not ready for another big emotional commitment right now. Hearing how you feel at the right time could ease the pain and help her through the process.

You will know how she is and how she is feeling much better than anybody writing on here. Trust your instincts and tell her when you feel the time is right.

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