A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This close guy-friend of mine and I have dating/friends with benefits for about three months, but neither one of us has been seeing anyone else since we've started seeing each other.Lately he's been occassionally using words like "not-quite-boyfriend" to describe himself (in relation to me) and sometimes when I'd get up to fix my hair before I/he go/goes home after one of our intense make-out sessions I would say, "I looks like I just rolled out of bed" (cuz it did...) and he will say "Maybe someday I will see for myself [what I look like when I roll out of bed]." (Meaning that someday he might see my morning hair, in the morning, in the same bed, even though he knows that it won't happen unless we are in a committed relationship...of course he didn't put it so bluntly).He keeps dropping these "hints" (or at least I think they're hints...are they hints?) that he might see me as more than a friend/friends with benifits but at the same time I'm afraid to ask him about it because I don't want him to feel pressured or cornered into anything (because that could only lead to a big mess) and I don't want to make an awkward situation between us if it can be avoided. Is there any way I can tell if he's ready to commit/talk about commiting or if he sees me as potential girlfriend material? Is there an appropriate amount of time for us to be dating before it is considered appropriate to ask these kinds of questions? Or is the only way to go about doing this is to just ask him and hope for the best? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (6 December 2008):
 Sounds like he is ready to take the next step but is scared in case it offends you. He is certainly dropping hints to suggest this. At least he isnt like some guys who just go for it on the first date. If you are ready to commit it may be you who needs to take the lead. You could say to him at the right time, 'I'd like you to see what my hair looks like in the morning'. and see what he says to that. But at the end of the day, only you will know what reaction you would get to that. It really does sound as if he is wanting you to follow up what he is hinting at. I had to make the first move to my guy after 18 months of dating because he was so scared I would fall out with him if he did. Good luck , hope this helps.
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