A
female
age
16-17,
Celinah
writes:heyya ive been going out with this lad for 1 year n 1 month, the thing is he's muslim im not.i really love him and i know he loves me he's told me many times that if when it comes down to it his family may not agree to our love and they may disown him and i dont want that i know im going to be with him forever and it isnt just a mess around but im really scared that his family dosent agree with our love and if we ever do want children i want them to know their grandparents and i dont know what to do... i really love him and i dont want his family disagreeing with our love :(
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muslim, want children Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (13 March 2008):
 I think it's worth him talking to his parents. They might accept you, if their son seems really happy and in love.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Celinah +, writes (12 March 2008):
Celinah is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh yes im half cast white pakistani but ive been raised white and yes my mother always taught me about the islamic religion and how to respect it now that i am with him i have stopped eating pork but he dosent expect me to convert cuz he knows that i am me if you get me but i dont think it would be with religion i think it would be more traditional if you get me thanks very much for the answeres tho many thanks xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): Before you get too involved with him, you best understand what his religion is about, and whether you will want to succumb to it, because from what I have heard, you will need to also be a muslim if your married.
If I were a woman, I wouldn't want to be a Muslim. But that is my opinion.
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A
male
reader, WizardOfWaz +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Maybe you are worrying too much about the issue. You don't say which faith you belong to, but as others suggested it might be a good idea that you find out some things about Islam. Like Judiasm and Christianity, Islam is an Abrahamic religion that is; all three faiths worship the same biblical God but they have different beliefs as regards religious practice.
Islam is also different from the other two in the respect that there is no global authority so it can differ from country to country or even within countries, and often adopts local cultures as part of religous practice.
The one thing that is common to Islam Worldwide is the Five Pillars of Wisdom that is; Belief in God, Prayer,Charity, Fast and Pilgrimage, which are also the basic tenents of some Christian faiths.
Also Muslims are expected to marry muslims, but in a secularist state such as the UK this can be virtually meaningless, as being "Muslim" is often purely nominal for those who choose to "convert" so that they can marry a Muslim.
Much the same as those converting to Catholicism to marry a Catholic, if the partner is not particularily devout, then the "convert" becomes Catholic only by rote, or in name only, rather than practice that particular faith.
So unless the parents try to impose cultural pressure on you I don't think you have much to worry about. Obviously your boyfriend has more liberal views than his parents have, and that's what matters most.
Regards
Waz
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): I have a friend her mom is Christian and her Dad a Muslim.Her mom never converted but my friend was raised Muslim. She is not a strict Muslim she dosent wear the head cover and she took gymnastics and diving and her father though he may have said things like "why do you shave your legs "ha ha(that was my favorite) and " dont wear shorts". He allways supported her and went to every funtion she had. He was a good Dad.But her parents got divorsed and he remarried another Muslim. I think it could have had something to do with then not having the same Faith.It's up to you do you want your children to be raised Muslim? I suggest you look up Muslim teachings. Me myself I am A Catholic and I may have dated people with diffrent Religous beliefs but I would never convert to something else. If he wants you to convert thats kind of selfish why do you have to convert why cant he? Or both of you stay your own Religon? Anyway I think your a little young to be thinking about marriage.If you love each other date for a couple of years before the whole marriage thing. If his parents dont accept you thats something he is going to have to work out with them.He needs to make sure that they treat you with respect. You also need to treat them with respect.I see this being a hard relationship already.I see 2 posible out comes. 1 The strain will bring you even closer together or 2 it will pull you farture apart. I wish you luck . Be yourself
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A
female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (11 March 2008):
It is very rare for parents to disown their children and go as far as never seeing their grandchildren.
However, if he knew it would cause friction in his family, why has he even started dating you?
It is important for each of us to decide how important our religion is to ourselves. If he is a fervent Muslim, chances are he will want to raise his children as such and behave like his parents when he is older!
Bear this in mind before you say you'll be together forever.
How would you feel about raising your children to believe in a God you neither know nor trust?
I've fallen in love with non-catholics before (I am Catholic myself) and the contrast eventually put so much stress in our relationship we just had to end it.
Every one is different, of course, but it is wise to know who you are and choose how you want to live your life before you involve others in it.
I wish you all the best and God willing, his family might accept your love beyond your contrasting faiths!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): dont stress bub im going threw the same stich. im going out with a muslim and i thought the same thing and i was really scared to go over his house cause of what his parents thought. but i did eventually scared shitless but in the end me and his family got along really well. just make sure when you see them that your legs are covered and your breats arent sticking out and you'll be fine. i got the tips from some of my other mates and there muslim. so take the advice love and you'll be fine.
im sure if his parents see how much you guys are in love then they should accept you, i mean the parents find it difficult because the kids will have different religions and shit. but seriously dont stress it.
they will love you!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): Would reading up and understanding Muslim practises help you better understand his family dynamics? In addition, it would probably lead his family to realise that you're serious about it.
In any case, if you ever consider to marry him, keep in mind that you will have to convert to Islam too.
I hope this helps (:
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