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Were my words too harsh with him?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 August 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 August 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi - I had a bad split with a guy a couple of months ago. He stopped talking to me and was spreading false lies and rumours about me being something that I wasn't.

For weeks I said nothing and didn't reply - as he had totally cut me off - but then I found his new 'love interest' was talking about him behind his back - so to hurt him I let him know what she had said.(As neither of them have been particularly nice to me in the past).

Now there is no love lost between me and him - he cut me out of his life and didn't want me back - but I am thinking that telling him what I did (although truthful) was a bit too mean and personal and maybe a bit below the belt! - I don't regret doing it - just wonder if there is ever a time when your words can go too far?

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (5 August 2015):

Look, don’t beat yourself up about it. He played dirty by spreading rumours about you. Yes, with hindsight you could have been the bigger person and kept a dignified silence rather than play dirty back at him, but guess what? We don’t always make the best decisions when hurt, betrayed, upset and angry. He’ll get over it; this won’t ruin his life. His ego might have taken a bit of a dent, and perhaps he deserved it. Don’t spend anymore time worrying about it. Concentrate on your own life now.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2015):

so this guy can walk all over you and cut you out of his life and you wonder if what you said that was true is wrong .No, no, no!!! You shouldnt even be wondering if it was bad or makes you look bad. I personally could probably slaughter this man with words. His actions have been unkind and devious and you still think you owe him something..well you dont! You owe yourself self respect and assertive love.Consider you have dropped the bomb shell and moved on. You are far too nice to be wasted on a sleaze ball..please remember your worth, you are on earth for a purpose and not as a toy for some self centred man.Who cares if your hometruths hurt ..move on to a place of self respect where better people exist..dont fall for any pity me nonsense that comes out of their mouths..words can hurt but he thought nothing in spreading lies about you, so metaphorically i say let the lions out..in reality of course you dont own lions ..but protect yourself !

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