A
female
age
51-59,
*ampaguita
writes:Dear cupid...I am a married woman who is having an affair with a married man for nearly 10 months now. I tried repeatedly to break off my relationships and so has he but we both keep getting back together. We are very much expressed love for each other which we both know is not going anywhere. His wife is 8 months pregnant and is hurting me more. I am desperately want to break this off but I have a hard time doing it..he said he wants me in his life...please help!!!
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affair, married man, married woman Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): it takes real character and strength to break something like this off and it is what you must do. It is not easy. It's like a crush/fling and the feelings are intense but they are not necessarily real. It's easy to get attraction with someone else when it's just an affair and not a real relationship. And when you're in it, the feelings are very powerful. But... you must end it. See a therapist to help you if you cannot do it on your own. You say you are desperate to break it off but I don't believe you truly are (yet). Get some help.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 I agree, it is hard to break off a relationship that has been your glimmer of hope in your life. Let's face it, both of you aren't happy with your marriages, you have found each other, and you are both probably the highlights of each others lives at this point.
While you know what is right, you are fighting against yourselves. Why would you want to stop something that feels wonderful and breaths life into the daily grind?
But take a step back and take a look at the damage you are causing your marriage and your kids (if you have any). Play out the scenario in your mind if you were caught... what would your parents think? Your husband? Your kids? How would you feel about yourself if everyone you knew, knew you had stepped out of the marital bounds? What would happen to this man's children and his home life if you were discovered. If you have kids and wound up getting a divorce, how would you feel about seeing your kids only some of the time and / or sharing them with your husband's new wife / girlfriend.
I think if you take a solid look at what could happen if AND when you are caught (because you will eventually get caught) it might make it easier to break it off.
In addition, I think it takes a lot more character and integrity to try and mend one's marriage than give up on it and find comfort in someone else.
Take some time to think this through and ask yourself if you really want to live your life in this manner. Then make the changes necessary so that you can feel good about yourself.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): His wife is 8 months pregnant so a)they were having sex after you met and b) he loves her enough to want a child with herSurely thats enough to put you off - of course he wants you in his life he's having no strings fun with you and getting away with it. He's laughingIt takes 2 to tango so stop dancing - and read some of the 'cheating' questions/answers on here .. the 'other woman' is just that - not his wife and mother of his children
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