A
female
age
22-25,
chelsea33
writes:I am in some kinda twisted relationship thing. It's complicated. Really complicated. Anyhow, this guy and his family all refer to me as his "girlfriend", but if you ask me we are just "dating". Either way we are in agreeance that we are exclusive I just am not sure I am ready to have that title of his "girlfriend" and I am not sure that he and I are on the same page as to what that means. So my question to all you guys and girls is this, what does being someone's girlfriend or boyfriend entail from each part involved in the relationship? I know this sounds stupid but just bare with me. Everyone has there own opinons and views on this and I think his an mine really differ so I just want to know if I am way off base with what I think it means. Thanks Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (9 April 2007):
 All the term Girlfriend and Boyfriend is a label, to define it into a box as such. But that is all it is. A label. You decide how far you want to take it. AS you have said you both have agreed that you are exclusive. So what else would you call it anyway? Since there is a child involved, let him know your concerns and that you just want to see where the relationship leads. he should'nt see a problem with that. The child is his responsibilty and not yours so you should'nt have to think about it until you want to. I would'nt worry too much about the GF thing.
A
female
reader, chelsea33 +, writes (7 April 2007):
chelsea33 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your advice on my question inreguards to the whole girlfriend title thing. The reason I am apprehensive to be labeled his girlfriend is (this is what I meant by it all being complicated) After a year and a half of being together off and on, his ex before me just showed up with his almost 2 years old son! I am crazy about him but I also am only 20 and I am not sure I want to help him raise his kid. Ya know? I have my own stuff to take care of. Anyhow now we decided to start seeing each other again but were in agreeance we'd move slow. I see it as dating. I can still run! Haha But if he calls me his gf, i'm not sure that i am ready to sign up for all that. PLUS if I am his girlfriend he needs to act like I am and not just say I am.
...............................
A
female
reader, chelsea33 +, writes (7 April 2007):
chelsea33 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice on my question inreguards to the whole girlfriend title thing. The reason I am apprehensive to be labeled his girlfriend is (this is what I meant by it all being complicated) After a year and a half of being together off and on, his ex before me just showed up with his almost 2 years old son! I am crazy about him but I also am only 20 and I am not sure I want to help him raise his kid. Ya know? I have my own stuff to take care of. Anyhow now we decided to start seeing each other again but were in agreeance we'd move slow. I see it as dating. I can still run! Haha But if he calls me his gf, i'm not sure that i am ready to sign up for all that. PLUS if I am his girlfriend he needs to act like I am and not just say I am.
...............................
A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (7 April 2007):
 Calling someone a girlfriend is just a label people put on you to explain the role you play in their lives...his family calling you that means that he is not bringing any other girls around, just you...
If you are not sure about your relationship and that you and he are on the same page, try talking it out, from what you describe you are his girlfriend because the two of you are not dating other people, you are exclusive....so why you would not be comfortable with a title is a little beside the point....it may be that you are just nervous about making the status of your relationship public.
Just try to relax about it all and let your relationship grow, you will know in time how you really feel about each other.
...............................
A
female
reader, maryann61181 +, writes (7 April 2007):
 I you both have agreed to be exclusive, then you have agreed to hold the title of the girlfriend and he the title of the boyfriend. You are no longer just dating, when you agree that you areexclusive.
If you do not want this relationship to move so quickly and would prefer that you just have the dating status, then you need to tell him before you wait too long and then you're stuck. Talk to him and tell him that you're scared and that you want to take things slow with him, but do not want to be considered a couple per se.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): I kinda understand what you mean. The term girl or boy friend is used to describe someone who is the exclusive dating partner of another person. It doesnt always have to refer to love and commitment these days (although some of us old romantics may have to agree to differ on that one...lol) Perhaps you just dont like the word. Ive got to admit that Im not too keen on it. You may not feel comfortable having a label upon you. However if you are exclusive with this man then you are his girlfriend. His family cant help calling you this as they need to describe you presence in his life. Try refering to yourself by your own name to his family. For instance, " Im Stuarts Emily". Try it for a while and see how it feels. Hope this can be of some help to you. Good luck.
...............................
|
